Heyyy, anybody remember that whole Gameworld story that kicked off this volume? Well, our creative team just did!
The adjectiveless "flagship" of the line still meanders on... a victim of poor timing, and a certain Head of X abandoning ship when the waters got choppy. Here's hoping "season two" of this title feels a bit more relevant than all this!
House of X #1 (September, 2019) "The House that Xavier Built" Writer - Jonathan Hickman Art - Pepe Larraz Inks - Marte Gracia Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Edits - Bissa, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $5.99 On-Sale: July 24, 2019
Trying something out today... let's see if it can float.
Anyone who knows me, the poor few, will know that, more often than not, I'm wracking my brain trying to think up ways to "zsusz" the numbers and audience on X-Lapsed (and here at the site). It's not easy being a one-man operation -- there's only so much time in the day, and -- since I'm also a fella with nigh-on cripplingly low self-esteem and anxiety (when blastin'!), it's difficult for me to be as active and engaging on the socials as I think I might need to be.
I try and keep the faith that hard work will eventually pay off... and that maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be shown half as much respect as the folks who "right-click, save as" four cover pics a day from Google Images and spam tag everybody they know to get "da likes". That's absurdly (and uncharacteristically) optimistic of me, innit? Snarky too!
X-Lapsed has been a, for lack of a better term, "passion project". I mean, in a year and a half, I've produced nearly 350 episodes of the thing... so, hopefully that's apparent. But... I know that listening to podcasts isn't something that everybody out there has the time nor interest to do. And so, in attempt to reach the folks who are more into receiving comics-commentary-content in a text-n-images format, I give to you The Illustrated X-Lapsed.
Will it work? Probably not. Will it last? I hope so, but no promises. Does this mean we're done with Dazzler? Nah, we got loads of Ali on the way... This is just something I'm trying out. Kinduva "Hail Mary" from yer humble host. Plus, I'm a bit interested in seeing how these early issues of the HoX/PoX era read, as at this point, we're out the other end of Hickman's run.
Note: These are adaptations of my actual X-Lapsed scripts... so, they're being written from a point of view that this is the first time I'm reading these books. I intend to keep my wild (and often wrong) theories intact. So, before you "Well, ackshully" me, please just keep that in mind. Oh, what am I saying -- I'll take ANY engagement I can get! Correct away!
--
We open with a prologue where Professor Xavier, wearing perhaps a Cerebro Helmet (?) is stood before a pretty gross-looking tree. Toward the roots of this gross tree are some… grosser pods. From them spring, I’m assuming mutants. Professor X greets them… calling them “his X-Men”. It may be worth noting, one of these newborns has what appears to be optic blasty powers? Could this be like a "Biblical" take on the Original Five?
Ugh
From here we get a few pages of timelapse, starting five months prior on Krakoa… then across the world and across the universe. The X-Men are planting some Krakoan Flowers. I’m going to guess this is the genesis of the Krakoa Gateways… or maybe the habitats we’re about to see? Though, I could very easily be mistaken.
We settle in the “now”, at the Jerusalem Habitat. We’ve got a meeting of minds here, with several ambassadors from disparate nations having been called here by Professor X, who’d like to make them an offer they may not be able to refus. Apparently, there’re designer drugs… which promise to extend human life by five years, prevent mental illness, and act as an adaptive antibiotic. Thing is, Xavier’s got em… and he is only willing to share if he can come to terms with the governments of the world. He will only help those nations who recognize Krakoa's sovereignty. These Ambassadors seem to be split on whether or not this could be a workable arrangement.
Before we get too far, however, they are interrupted by the arrival of a pair of the Stepford Cuckoos… Esme and Sophie. I never thought I’d be so happy to see them… but, I know them… and I really need to see some familiar faces here! The humans are led up a flight of stairs where they are introduced to… Magneto! He apologizes, recognizing that he is a poor substitute for the man they expected to chat up… that being, Charles Xavier. He offers to give the folks a tour.
INFO PAGE! We get an info-graphic style page next that describes some of the Flowers of Krakoa… including those that can be utilized as miracle drugs for the humans, and those that can act as gateways for the mutants.
We shift scenes to the Graymalkin Habitat in Westchester… which I’m going to assume is the old Xavier School. There, Jean Grey is escorting some young mutants through one of the Krakoan Gateways... Including one with broccoli floret hair. We… or I learn here that only mutants can travel through them without “permission”. Humans can tag-along… but only if Krakoa says it’s cool.
As they step on through, word is sent to a Krakoan network “control center” of sorts. It’s pretty gross… it’s part animal, part vegetable… and has a whole lotta eyes. This desk is being manned by Cypher (with a Phalanxy Arm) and Sage. More familiar faces…
Jean and the broccoli boy arrive… and the tot is pretty wowed to see Professor Xavier and a “hairy guy” named Logan. In the nearby forest we see Charly and Wolverine hanging out… and the kids are like magnetically drawn to Logan. I haven’t “seen” Wolverine since his return from the dead… so, maybe he’s a kinder and gentler sort right now? I dunno… this whole thing feels very “off”... kind of like the first ten minutes of an episode of the Twilight Zone. I feel like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop… things seem a little TOO perfect. It’s… uncomfortable.
INFO PAGE! Another info-graphic page follows, which gives us a map of Krakoa… and, I believe, places it somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.
Next stop… Space! Agents Gregor Mendel arrive at a satellite… which appears to be full of agents of various Marvel organizations… SHIELD, AIM, some others… all of which make me yawn uncontrollably… a latter info-page will confirm some of that. This project is called Orchis. Omega Sentinel, Karima whatsherface is here… and, well, honestly a lot of this is going over my head. Hopefully it clears up for me before long. Before leaving the satellite, we see that it’s surrounding a giant Sentinel (or maybe Master-Mold) head.
We pop back to Earth, and we join Mystique, Toad, and Sabretooth as they are pillaging the Damage Control offices. The mutants get what they’re looking for… which appears to be some data… and they split in the direction of the nearest Krakoa Gateway. Unfortunately for them, they are descended upon by the Fantastic Four. The Thing waylays Sabretooth just in time for us to shift scenes…
Back to Magneto’s magical mystery tour! They leave Jerusalem and arrive at a “hub” point, form which they can travel to a whole bunch of other habitats. One of the Ambassadors notes the strange language posted above the doorways… and is surprised that the mutants would go to such lengths. Magneto firmly states that they did so in order to create a distinct mutant culture. They pass through a door… maybe a few… because we see a smattering of locales over this page’a panels. We also see… Xorn? Both of them? Where did they come from?
One of the ambassadors turns the subject to the military… and how, the mutants newfound ability to travel anywhere they damned well please really changes the world dynamic. Magneto assures him that this ability isn’t an instrument of war. The human ain’t buyin’ it… and, if I’m being honest, if Magneto said that to me, I’m not sure I would either. Magneto plainly states that there’s never been a mutant war… which, I mean… I guess is technically true. The Ambassadors are growing impatient and would really like to finally go to Krakoa. Magneto tells them that both, they don’t need to… and anyway, Man ain’t welcome there in the first place The Ambassadors know Xavier’s terms… all they want is their little slice of the planet. Humanity is more than welcome to the rest of it.
Back with the Fantastic Four… Mystique and Toad are able to make their way through a gateway… but poor Sabretooth just bounces off. The Fantastic Four take their captive… and all looks to be fine and dandy. Then… Cyclops emerges from the Gateway. He greets Ben, congratulates him on his recent nuptials… and gets down to bidness with Reed. He asks for Sabretooth to be released over to him. Reed... ain’t feelin’ it. Scott brings up the whole mutant amnesty thing… which, I tell ya, sounds like a really bad idea… especially when it comes to someone like Sabretooth. Reed won’t turn Vic over… and Cyclops isn’t really looking for an argument. And so, much to his chagrin, he leaves Sabretooth in their custody. Before leaving back through the gateway, however… Cyclops makes mention of Franklin Richards… and tells Sue and Reed that, whenever he’s “ready” there’s family waiting for him on Krakoa... Which… I absolutely love! I’ve been waiting for there to be some sort of conflict between the Fantastic Four and the X-Men over Franklin for awhile now... even back during the build-up to “The Twelve”... I was SURE Franklin was going to factor in (mostly because they said he would… but, whattayagonna do?).
Another INFO PAGE!… this time classifying Omega Level Mutants, which includes li’l Franklin… and a whole bunch of mutants I could’ve sworn were long dead. Another reminder that stakes, as we knew them, no longer exist.
Back to Jerusalem… The Ambassadors take a sidebar to discuss the situation. Esme… or the other one, reveals that these Ambassadors are all “plants”, and goes on to call them all out. She also reveals that one of em is packin’ heat… and so, Magneto takes care of the pistol the way only he can. The Ambassador says it’s just for “protection”... to which, Magneto asserts that “that’s how it starts”. He’s not wrong…
We wrap with Magneto telling the Ambassadors that they’ve got New Gods (not those New Gods)… annnnnd, that’s where we end up for today!
--
[2020 Thoughts]
This was VERY dense… and made me feel even denser! I am intrigued… hopefully intrigued enough to continue my way through. I really enjoyed the art. The whole thing felt familiar… yet not.
I feel uncomfortable… kind of like when you miss a sneeze. There’s just a buzzing in my head. The Space bit with the Master Mold was kind of over my head... hell, I couldn’t swear to any of what I said during the synopsis!
I feel like with stories like this, we… or I, tend to get too lost in the weeds. I spent a lot of my time reading this (for the fourth or fifth time) trying to look for symbolism… where, perhaps there wasn’t any? Like, were the sorta religious bits intentional? Were they there for people LIKE ME who tends to get lost in the scenery? Will it all pay off?
Not sure. I guess we’ll see where this goes…
[2022 Thoughts]
If you listen to X-Lapsed, especially more recent episodes, you'll likely be tired of... well, you'll be tired of a lot of my nonsense and repetition... but, in particular, you might be tired of me talking about how, at some point, the original "mission statement" of the Krakoan Era appeared to have been usurped... and, "softened".
I talk a lot about the discomfort I felt in reading these earliest issues of the Era. How, everything seemed a little bit too ideal. It didn't pass the "smell test", because... if you ask me -- it wasn't supposed to. I feel like we were expected to feel uncomfortable -- we were supposed to assume that there was something sinister and nefarious bubbling just under the surface. That very much feels like the intended direction here, doesn't it? The mutants, for all intents (and to oversimplify)... appear to have "won". We know it's not ever going to be that easy... and there's always another shoe yet to drop -- but, the way this issue kicked off this era... it was incredibly well done. We also don't yet have the context of the era -- we don't know that the theme going forward is the concept that the mutants never win.
In reading this first issue back, with everything we now know -- the juxtaposition is pretty wild... and again, so well done. I definitely feel like I missed out in not x-periencing this as it was hitting the shelves in real-time, as I'm sure theories were hot, heavy, and completely off the wall. That said, I am very much looking forward to revisiting my own old theories to see how well they line up with reality.
Now, hopefully I'm just a tad bit less "dense" than I was back in 2020 when I first sat down with this... well, when I first tried to make sense of this, anyway. I have absolutely no insider knowledge... my own fellow X-Men content creators don't have much time or use for me, much less the actual pros at Marvel -- so, please take all of my theorizing (then and now) as nothing more than uneducated "hot takes". I'll probably definitely "project" what I feel the creators were wanting to do... but, please, don't take any'a that as gospel.
I'd love to hear your recollections of the early HoX/PoX era, whether this is your first... of fiftieth time reading it/about it -- if you're willing to share, please do! If you know anybody who might be wanting to discuss these books, please -- let 'em know about X-Lapsed! Thanks for reading!
X-Men (vol.6) #7 (March, 2022) "The Secret Origin of Captain Krakoa" Writer - Gerry Duggan Art - Pepe Larraz Colors - Marte Gracia Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Edits - Amaro, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $3.99 On-Sale: January 26, 2022
Celebrating eighteen months of X-Lapsed with the Secret Origin of Captain Krakoa!
This is still a story I'm having a hard time getting out of my own way on... but, if I squint and forget that this takes place in a shared and fantastical comic book universe... I can *almost* get it?
X-Men (vol.6) #6 (March, 2022) "Whatever Happened to Captain Krakoa?" Writer - Gerry Duggan Art - Pepe Larraz Colors - Marte Gracia Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Head of X - Hickman Edits - Amaro, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $3.99 On-Sale: January 5, 2022
Welcome back to the flagship... aka the ONLY book in the entire Marvel Universe that's attempting to pay attention to the fact that superfolk die and come back to life with insane regularity... which, is also why this story doesn't quite stick the landing!
Join your humble frustrated host, as he attempts to get past that and enjoy the issue for what it is!
And, well... that's about it! We do get some more environmental shaming though, so look forward to that!
Plus: Mailbag, Shout-Outs, This Week in X... and over a half-hour of my very own (as requested) Idiot's Guide to Podcasting! The TL;DL version is... don't do anything I do!
It's the August finale of X-Lapsed, and we are checking back in with the flagship book... which actually features the flagship team! And guess what -- they're fighting something from outer space! Whodathunkit?
Thankfully there's much more to this issue than that - great characterization and forward momentum in our overarching story! This is a book that feels like an EVENT every time out... in a good way!
Plus: Mailbag, Voice Mail, Shout-Outs and Sales Charts!
It's a most newsworthy day indeed! Today, not only are we launching the sixth volume of X-Men... we're also discussing the breaking news that we're abut to lose our Head of X, Jonathan Hickman! What will this mean to the X-Line? Are things going to "go back to normal" after the events of Inferno? Lotsa questions... not many answers - yet!
All 'at plus the Mailbag and More - hope you'll join us for this most opportune "jumping-on point"!
Finally... we get to talk about the event that we had mostly spoiled for us months ago! It's no longer the worst kept secret in the X-Books... it's out in the open!
So, for the few of you asking what it IS that I'm talking about -- Well, you'll have to listen (or, ya know, read the issue AND listen) to find out.
We've got some X-Cellent X-Tended Mailbag today as well, introducing a new letter writer to boot!
(00:00:00) House of X #1: "The House that Xavier Built"
(00:34:42) Powers of X #1: "The Last Dream of Professor X"
(00:58:52) House of X #2: "The Uncanny Life of Moira X"
(01:27:07) Powers of X #2: "We Are Together, You and I"
(01:56:02) Powers of X #3: "This is What You Do"
(02:46:18) House of X #3: "Once More Unto the Breach"
(03:12:14) House of X #4: "It Will Be Done"
(03:44:56) Powers of X #4: "Something Sinister"
(04:35:52) House of X #5: "Society"
(05:22:52) Powers of X #5: "For the Children"
(06:16:30) House of X #6: "I Am Not Ashamed"
(07:18:40) Powers of X #6: "House of X"
Writer - Jonathan Hickman
Art - Pepe Larraz, R.B. Silva, Adriano de Benedetto
Colors - Marte Gracia, David Curiel
Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles
Designs - Tom Muller
Edits - Annalise Bissa, Jordan D. White, C.B. Cebulski
Cover Price: $60 (Hardcover) / $44.99 (Paperback)
Due to popular request... of around three people, and with the understanding and appreciation that the high episode numbering of the X-Lapsed program might be a turn off to a perspective listener, I have decided to make things a little bit easier by starting the The Collected X-Lapsed initiative.
For this initial episode, we go all the way back to the first dozen episodes of X-Lapsed, where I had an eight hour conversation with myself about House of X and Powers of X. I had a ton of theories, hot takes, and worries for the X-Future... as well as my own X-Past.
If you've been X-Lapsed curious, but weren't sure where to start... well, here it is! If you're a longtime listener, this will hopefully make it easier to revisit should you ever be on a very long road trip with nothing else to do!
So, whattayasay we finally get these kids back home?
Today we wrap up the Extermination event miniseries which endeavored to send our time-displaced Original Five back from when(ce) they came! Will they make it? Will they remember everything? Will they get the ol' Xavier Mind-Wipe Special? Have a listen and find out!
Here we are, friends - the halfway point of #EcksofTens!
What better way to celebrate than cramming this over-sized issue with... a whole bunch of lists? We'll see Kingdoms of Otherworld, both Fair and Foul... Swords of Arrako... Warriors of Arrako... Tarot Cards for the Krakoans... an ending we all saw coming - and, well - not much more. Least it's pretty to look at!
Also: Some X-Cellent and thought-provoking Listener Mail!
In our penultimate chapter of Extermination, Kid Cable finally reveals why he's here... and why he's doin' what he's doin'! We've got a mostly united front against Ahab... and one slim teen-ager's life hangs in the balance.
Marking FIVE YEARS of daily discussions, reviews, blogs and/or pods at Chris is on Infinite Earths dot com!
Today's episode is another short one... but, it's action-packed. Your humble host starts to get a feel for where this is headed - and is still having a lot of fun x-periencing and getting answers out of this event miniseries.
The moment has finally arrived, friends - we have reached... #EcksofTens! I hope we survive the x-perience...
Today's x-tra sized tale is pretty wild... giving us A LOT to talk about in this x-tra sized episode. I hope you'll join us for the ride!
Also - An awesome selection of letters from the X-Lapsed Mailbag... one of which left your humble host laughing like a buffoon (well, more of a buffoon).
Plus - The opportunity for you (yes, YOU) to guide the X-Men into their next phase... as Marvel.com is currently holding an election wherein WE the readers can choose the final member of the new X-Men team! Vote runs from today until February 2! Be sure your voice is heard -- and also, mebbe let your pal Chris know who you voted for!
We're on the Eve of #EcksofTens... and, we're about to be taken to school. It's time to look at the Dawn of X offering for 2020's Free Comic Book Day... which, leads to your humble host angrily shaking his fist at the clouds about how halfhearted and throwaway so many FCBD issues are! The one we're covering today is... well, it's something. We'll do our best!
Also: More X-Cellent (and X-istential) Listener Mail!
Extermination rolls on, and we're down another time-displaced original X-Man! What'll happen when our Amalgamated X-Men Color-Guard and Adjacents realize that Ahab isn't the only threat on their radar? And what might happen if our heroes have a Hound Sleeper Agent among them? Give a listen and find out (some of the answers)!
After pressing through the "Countdown to", we're into the event miniseries proper! It's an issue with a couple of casualties (one notable... one, less so)... as well as an introduction of a character who looms large in our current Dawn of X landscape!
We'll talk a lot (ie. project) about potential original plans for the original five... and what that might've meant for X-Men lore. If the time-displaced crew were a) from the 616, and b) sent back to the past with the knowledge of everything that was yet to come... what might that have meant for our current-day continuity?
Could they have originally been intended as an in-story reboot mechanism for our mutant heroes? Probably not... but, we're going to have fun playing "What if...?" anyway!
I'd love to hear (and share) your hot-takes on this issue as well. If you've got any, please don't hesitate to send 'em in!
X-Lapsed, Episode 12 Powers of X #6 (December, 2019) "House of X" Writer - Jonathan Hickman Art - R.B. Silva & Pepe Larraz Colors - Marte Gracia & David Curiel Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Edits - Bissa, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $5.99 On-Sale Date: October 9, 2019
We have finally made it, gang! I can actually now say that I've read the entirety of HoX/PoX. I always intended to read it... but, I never saw myself actually talking about it on the air for something like ten hours (or would that be "x" hours?).
Today we wrap things up... but perhaps not with as tidy a bow as I'd hoped, as we read Powers of X #6. We've got A LOT to talk about here... and I'm so happy to finally be part of that conversation. Feedback is definitely appreciated! Thanks to those of you listening in real-time for your support... and for not spoiling me on anything!
What happened? What still "is"? What never "was"? Where do we go from here? I... well, um... I don't know if any of those questions get answered here, to be honest... and, if you listen, you'll probably have even more questions when we're done!
Join me next time, as we jump into the Dawn of X proper with X-Men #1... or, izzit X-Men LGY#645? Ehh, we'll save that senses-shattering discussion for then.
X-Lapsed, Episode 11 House of X #6 (December, 2019) "I Am Not Ashamed" Writer - Jonathan Hickman Art - Pepe Larraz Colors - Marte Gracia & David Curiel Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Edits - Bissa, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $4.99 On-Sale Date: October 2, 2019
It's the penultimate issue of HoX/PoX... and, boy these "other shoes" just keep droppin', don't they?
Join me for House of X #6, as I discuss Xavier stepping over the Rubicon... and also establishing the first Krakoan government, complete with a trio of laws! It's an issue that will leave your humble host with chills, a few times over! It's conflicting, scary, and so WRONG that it can't help but to feel RIGHT... plus, there's a party at the end that almost brought me to tears!
All that, plus listener mail, and an apology to Jonathan Hickman for ever discounting his work. -- Damien's "Should I Love This Comic?" Podcast: https://byvtwk.podbean.com/
