X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Three (1990)

 

X-Men Vignettes #43 (1990)
"Flights of Angels"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Pencils - Mike Collins
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #43 (January, 1990)

Well, this was a pain in the ass. If you read yesterday's piece, you'll know that this issue of Classix is one that I was prrrretty sure I owned, but was unable to actually locate. If you're familiar with the ridiculous rules I have for this place, you'll know that I only cover books that I physically own... in some form or fashion. Could be original issue, collected edition, whichever -- though, at the start it was even more rigid than that. I tell ya, I've got problems.

So, I spent the better part of a couple of hours yesterday tearing apart a few rooms across two residences trying to find it. This is the kind of stupid stuff I spend my time doing. I could be out there trying to make the world a better place, could be volunteering, could be actually productive... but no, that kinda stuff can wait -- Classic X-Men #43 is missing!

All that to say -- I didn't find it. I even hit a few shops (including two horrendous swap marts) to try and procure a second copy... but, alas, no. Time well spent, eh? What is my life anyway?

So, while I was unsuccessful in search... I do own it. It's in my Excel Spreadsheet... and, books don't get added to that by mistake. I literally type up the information from the credits and indicia for every single comic that gets added... so, it's somewhere in the house. That said, I don't feel too bad about resorting to snipping the pics from Marvel Unlimited. I'm sure I'll probably find the hard copy... in about an hour and change when I'm done writing up this piece.

Was the search, the headache, and the hassle worth it? Welllllllll... read on.

--

We open with a recap of the life of Jean...ix. And, I wanna get my overall density out of the way right from the jump. As we discussed when she was shoehorned into Cyclops' story yesterday, Jean's backstory is "conveniently inconvenient"... which is to say, it's whatever the hell whoever is writing it wants it to be. Ya dig? Maybe I'm just a tremendous idiot, but I feel like they play way too fast and loose with her... even this (relatively) early on. So, is this Jean? Is it the Phoenix? Is it both? Is it neither? Yes. Anyway, after this photo album-in-the-shape-of-a-woman burns to ash (with flaming bird imagery, natch); she, they, it wakes up... somewhere.

Nearby on this barren patch of cosmic land, is a flight of stairs leading down. From those stairs climbs a man, holding a whole lotta steel girders and whatnot. Jean's understandably confused, and goes to ask him the whats and wheres. He isn't too forthcoming with that information... perhaps these are answers she's going to need to discover herself?

After petulantly stomping away, Jeanix realizes that she's now wearing white. She is, once again, confused. The Green Phoenix was the "good" one, the red the "bad"... so, what does white mean? Before she can figure it out, she slips and bumps her butt on the ground. She takes in the sights around her... seeing hundreds, if not thousands of stars all around. Only, they're not stars... each little glimmering "pin prick" is an entire galaxy. Jean is stood before the entirety of the universe.

The Construction Worker at the End of Time approaches to comfort her, bringing with him a cuppa hot somethin'. Jean indulges her inner-Claremont, talking so much poor Joe Rosen likely had to use one'a those jeweler's eye piece gimmicks while lettering. She compares herself to Alice in Wonderland... which, I mean... that's usually the "go to" when a writer wants to implement a level of depth to their story, right? She then goes to dive off the side of this odd construct -- but, the Village Person stops her. Ya see, if she were to jump -- she'd fall... forever.

He then leaves her to return to his work. Jeanix talks about having died once before... on her way, to Jamaica Bay (I'm guessing). But that death was nothing like this. That's probably because you didn't actually die? Again, fast 'n loose. Jeanix doesn't care to speak with this fella anymore, and so she heads down the stairs he climbed up from. Only, it brings her right back to the same place. The dude tosses her a tool belt so she can help him build... whatever it is he's building.

A little while later, Jeanix has built a small tower gimmick. Satisfied with her work, she gives it a closer look. From it, bursts a blast of light... followed by a vision of the time Dark Phoenix wiped out the Asparagus People... or, in the words of current-year writers, who likely never read The Dark Phoenix Saga (or anything X, pre-2019)... the "Broccoli People". Whatever veg ya wanna refer to 'em as, it's the D'Bari... and Jean is there with them for the horrible event.

Jeanix's "This Was Your Life" doesn't end there, however, as next she finds herself on board the Shi'ar Starship she'd destroyed as Dark Phoenix. She's being forced to relive the atrocities... by actually experiencing them. She recalls the hunger, and pleasure she felt as Dark Phoenix during all of this, causing her to shout out.

This brings our Construction Worker back from the YMCA to check in. He tells her to let everything that happened go. Jeanix realizes that this dude... is Death. He tells her that the place they're at is the... ugh... Alpha and Omega... the beginning and end. Ya know, considering how often we hear that line in comics... there sure are a lotta people, places, and things that are exactly that. Jeanix also deduces that... she might be death as well. Oh, please be done.

No, it's not done... we got more retconnin' to do. Ya see, Jeanix is preoccupied with all the death and destruction she'd caused -- to which, our Blue-Collar Grim-Reaper tells her that she's not looking at the entire picture. Sure, there was destruction and loss of life... however, over the course of her existence, she's saved countless lives as well. Fair point... but, then it gets weird. Remember how in yesterday's chapter, Jean and Professor X just showed up at the end of Cyclops' story? Remember how unnatural and forced that felt? Well, there was reason that happened... I think. Death asks if Jeanix thinks it was an accident that she "touched minds" with a young Scott Summers... who had become an orphan due to that actions of Emperor D'Ken. Death explains that the mental contact they shared was what drew Scott to Xavier's School where they'd meet and fall in love. Then... some time later, they would work together to stop that same Emperor D'Ken from effin' around with the M'Krann Crystal. So... um... yeah.

Jeanix's just as displeased with this reveal as I am... unhappy that her entire life has this preordained or fated framework to it. She asks if their entire lives have been spent as nothing more than playthings for Death's own "celestial amusement". Our man doesn't really answer the question, instead giving her a lesson on what the Phoenix actually is... not a "being" or an "entity", but instead... a force. "The sum and substance of all that lives". Clear as mud, right? This is starting to feel like nothing more than a string of impressive-sounding-but-ultimately-meaningless phrases Chris Claremont had scribbled on Post-it's and stuck all around his office.

Anyway, this appears to be enough for Jeanix to embrace her Phoenixhood. She lights up into the flaming bird, feels the "life force" and the cosmos singing at her... and she leaves to... I dunno, secretly spread her Phoenix-ness around the universe?

We wrap up with Death the Builder left all alone on his planetoid looking at pictures of various Jean life events... including several that feature... Mister Sinister. Not sure if these photos are in any sort of order, as take us from Jeanix getting vaporized... Jean's first run-in with the Phoenix... Jean winding up in Jamaica Bay... Mr. Sinister mucking about with, what I'm going to guess are several attempts at "makin' Maddy". In any event, Death apologizes -- knowing that Jean's got some very tough lessons yet to learn.

--

My Lord, but that was endless...

This might just be a "you had to be there" sort of story. I mean, as I've said, Jean's history is what it is... it also what it was... and finally, it's whatever the hell whoever's writing her wants it to be. She's a hard character to peg down... especially considering how little effort's been put into doing so over the years. Perhaps, had I read this back in ye old 1989/90, I'd have a better appreciation for it. For all of Claremont's efforts in trying to make sense of the "was she?" or "wasn't she?" of the Jean/Phoenix/Jeanix situation. Instead, I'm reading this (for the first time) over three decades later.

In the time since this story came out, Jean's actually died -- and was off the board for well over a decade. The Phoenix has found several different hosts, been stolen as a concept from the X-Men by the Avengers... and even spent some time in the friggin' Ultraverse! Several non-Jean characters have wound up visiting the White Hot Room. What I'm trying to say is... there's been a lotta sh-- stuff gone down that makes a story like this feel both painfully overwritten and almost quaint.

Let's set all the Jeanix bits aside... cuz, gun to my head, I couldn't tell ya what her story is or was... or what it was supposed to be in 1980... 1990... or 2022! Instead, here's my main takeaway... the idea that the Jean/Scott relationship was preordained. I'm really not sure what Claremont was going for here... or why he went to such lengths to retcon that into their histories. In fairness, it's been a minute since I'd read Inferno (the first one)-era X-Men -- by Classix #43, Inferno and the Maddy reveal were already in the rear-view -- maybe this was odd "fated" deal was mentioned during that? I honestly couldn't say. In any event... I don't like this addition. To me, all it does is lessen their relationship. Maybe I'm just an idiot. You tell me!

Overall... I did not care for this one. It was cool seeing the White Phoenix costume, as I've always felt that was a pretty striking look... but, everything else? Ehh. At least it tied in with the main story of the issue, I guess?

Next time out, we wrap up our look at the Vignettes proper, with the story you may all be more familiar with from the X-Men Animated Series. It's Rogue an' Codeh', sugahs... don'tcha dare miss it!

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Two (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #42 (1989)
"When Dreams Are Dust"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Pencils - Mike Collins
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Gregory Wright
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #42 (Mid-December, 1989)

Today we're going to wrap up our two-part Cyclops ditty... which, when I read the first part, I think I was imagining that it was a "Part 1 of 3", strictly due to how slowly it was paced. I actually had to edit yesterday's article to correct myself a couple'a times. As we'll learn today, it's not a three-parter -- and, well... I suppose we can discuss whether that's a good thing or a bad thing out the other end of the piece, eh?

Also, a bit of news that shouldn't affect anything, but -- I seem to have misplaced my copy of Classic X-Men #43. I'm like 95% certain that I own the thing... just, gun to my head, couldn't tell ya where it might be! Worst case scenario, the next piece will have panels nyoinked from the Marvel Unlimited version. Best case, I'm able to locate the ish and share the same, inimitable crooked-Chris pics I usually do for our foray into the White Hot Room.

--

We open with young Hal Jordan hanging out with his father at the air field. Oh wait... okay, okay, it's young Scott Summers, just looking very young Hal Jordanesque. If you look quickly, his sweater vest almost looks like one'a Hal's bomber jackets. He is very psyched to be checking out this private air show... I wonder if Claremont may've been really into planes around this point -- he'd already published his novel, First Flight... which would get a couple of follow-ups over the next several years. Anybody ever actually read that? I know I tried... but, just couldn't get into it. Anyway, Scott's out with his BFF, Doc Robyn - and the man in the air is Colonel Richard Bogart (his wife, Tricia is there watching from the ground as well). The Colonel does a few tricks before landing the plane.

Once outta the cockpit, Richard invites Scott if he'd be interested in going for a ride. Initially, Scott's very excited... but, that fades quickly. He remembers that he's "damaged goods", and that it might not be the best idea. Just then, a cluster of skydivers begin their descent. They've got smoke flares attached to their boots, adding a bit more interest to the dive. Scott sees this, and assumes that they're burning. He flips the eff out, runs toward the field and throws himself on the ground, as though he were burning up himself. Doc Robyn rushes over to try and calm him down... he starts crying out that they're being shot at... and also, that he'll protect someone named Alex. Hmm. Before he ran off, he said something about a burning canopy and a Roman candle... which causes Richard to... rub his chin. Hmm.

That night, Robyn tucks Scott into his bed at the Home for Foundlings... and gets an absolute earful from Nate. He rags on her for her poor decision making, and even questions her credentials... after all, if she were any good at what she did -- why in all hells is she working in a dump like this. She asks why he's such a nasty little jerk, to which he threatens to one day show her. Ruh-roh.

The next day, Robyn and Tricia are getting some air miles in... chatting about that creepy little bastard, Nate... and how, the Doc is actually quite disturbed by him. Meanwhile, back on the ground, Scott and the Colonel are getting to know each other a little bit better. Now, the Colonel seems to think there's more to Scott's story than meets the eye, and attempts to get a bit more information out of him... which, ya know, is hard to do when you're interrogating an amnesiac. Seems as though Scott's memory comes and goes... when he's occupied with other things, the memories appear to flow... when he's not so preoccupied, however -- they stop.

We hop to lunchtime, and the Bogarts take Scott and Robyn to a mess hall or something. While Scott slurps down a milkshake at the bar, the growed-ups talk about him in a nearby booth. Robyn informs the Bogarts about Scott's sensitive eyes... and how, eventually, he'll have to wear glasses made of ruby quartz. Richard reveals some of what he's been able to glean from Scott's sparse stories... and would really like to reunite the li'l fella with whatever family he may have left. In the meantime, however, he suggests that perhaps he and Tricia go ahead and adopt him.

This takes us back to the Home for Foundlings, where Doc Robyn is chatting up the Chief Administrator about getting Scott adopted out to the Bogarts. The Admin, evil jag that he appears to be, isn't cool with this at all. He tells Hanover that she's going outside of regular procedure... however, she's steadfast that this is the right play. After much arguing, the Admin finally (appears to) give in. He tells her they can proceed with the, uh, proceedings... but, warns that, should anything go a bit ca-ca, it's on her head.

Later yet, Scott and the Colonel are back at the airfield... where the latter tells the former that they're hitting a lot of roadblocks in the adoption process. Lots of inquiries are being made... seems like a battle of attrition between they and the Home for Foundlings. Richard tells Scott that they're not going to give up... and even goes as far as to tell him that he's been searching for Scott's natural family. Scott... doesn't take this too kindly, assuming this means that the Bogarts wanna just pass him off to another family. Richard assures him that isn't the case at all, and even invites Scott to spend Christmas with he and his wife. Scott is so touched by the invite, that he calls the Colonel "dad". Wow.

That night, we rejoin Doctor Robyn who wakes up in a darkened room. The lights come on, revealing that she is in the presence of... Sinister. He tells her that she's become rather the nuisance... and, it looks like he's going to have to finally put a stop to her.

Some time later, Scott is waiting outside the Home for Foundlings for the Bogarts to show up. Nate tells him that he's a "dreamer", as the Colonel and Wife don't actually care about or want him. He heads back inside to chat up Doc Robyn a bit... only to find that she's... a very different lady, indeed. Her hair is tied up, she's in a very conservative dress... and doesn't appear to have any time for her one-time obsession. She tells Scott that the Bogarts haven't checked in in several weeks... and suggests that they're no longer interested in pursuing the adoption. She basically parrots what Nate said outside, telling him that they don't care. We know differently though, as interspersed between these panels, we see shots of the Bogarts laying dead on a mountain.

This takes us to the end... which, to me, is where this all falls apart. It's Professor Xavier and Jean practicing Jean's telepathy. She scans and finds another mutant mind... Scott's. He approaches them, thinking this is all a dream. We close out with some unnecessary (in my opinion) Phoenix imagery... and that's that.

--

Like I said at the jump, with the way the first part of this was paced, and having a bit of an idea where this was heading - I would'a bet money that this was a three-parter. It wasn't... and, I feel like that kinda hurt the flow. This chapter almost felt manic in its pacing... just rushing through the beats, without giving any of them proper room to breathe. Not that I'm looking for decompression or anything, but -- I dunno, this was supposed to be poignant and tragic... but, it came across like we were about to watch the "part-two" of a two-part television show, and what we read here today was the "Previously on..." bit.

Of course, it didn't help matters that we needed to forfeit a page of this to attend to some Jean retconning. Jean is one of those characters who, for me, it's kind of hard to get a "bead" on... as she's basically written as being whatever the current writer wants her to be. Was she ever actually the Phoenix? Well, that depends on who's telling the story. Did she die? Again, gotta ask whoever's sitting in the scriptin' seat. Was the Xavier's first pupil? Sometimes. Was she originally a telepath or telekinetic? Ain't dem da same t'ings? I mean, we (think we) know the answers to those questions... but, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Writers are going to adhere to whatever the want.

And, I mean -- I'm not against retconning Jean in as Xavier's first student, or whatever -- it's just that, if we're going to play fast and loose with X-Men history (and pre-history), howsabout we try not to contradict stuff that's come before. As we discussed over in the Essential X-Lapsed, Jean was "given" telepathic powers by Professor X when he was about to fake his death. I said that was stupid then... but, I mean... it happened. I dunno what I'm trying to say here, gang... the whole "capper" page just felt unnecessary... and (in my opinion) robbed the Cyclops story of an extra few panels of breathing room.

What happened to Robyn? Well, I suppose we can guess that she's been brainwashed. Is that satisfying? Well, it could'a been, if it were made a bit clearer and/or had a bit more room to breathe. She didn't come across as hurtful or aloof toward Scott (a bit blunt, maybe), it just seemed like she was too busy to stand around talking to a kid in the hallway. What happens from here? Like, we know Scott runs away... we know he briefly gets tied up with that dorky Jack O'Diamonds. But, what does he do... like right now? He just head back to his room with Creepy Nate... and wait?

The Sinisterness of this story was... okay? Another bit that I feel needed a bit more room. I mean, at the time in the main book, we had an idea that Sinister was "into" the Summers's's's's... but, that really isn't made clear here. He just seems like a bad guy -- his motivation wasn't properly fleshed out here, at least not to me. I suppose maybe they weren't completely sure what Sinister's story was going to be at this point. Hell, we're some quarter century later, and I still don't think we've got any writers who can agree on Sinister's story.

Anyway, not much more to say about this one. It was disappointing. After the great build of the first part, this came across like a rushed let-down. Can't really hold that against anyone -- it's pretty clear that the Classix Backup initiative is on its last legs, and I'm sure it's not anywhere near Priority One in the X-Offices. Plus, we already know that this isn't the Sinister story Claremont originally intended to tell. There are elements of his original in play... but, perhaps had he been given full-reign to write his version of Sinister, this may've been a bit more satisfying a read.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-One (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #41 (1989)
"Little Boy Lost"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Pencils - Mike Collins
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Mike Heisler
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #41 (December, 1989)

If you were to speak of the Classix Backups... you'd probably one of a few boilerplate responses. First, people will go nuts about the Art Adams covers... which is fair, because they're pretty fantastic - though, it's easy (for some "X-Scholars") to forget that he isn't doing the interior art. Second, folks'll mention the name "John Bolton" with their noses pointed aloft, and act as though they're the only one who's ever seen his work. Third, they might just mention the story we're about to discuss. This is... kind of an important one, so much so, that the primary custodian of the X-Men franchise has returned to tell it!

Chris Claremont is back... and, check this out -- we're getting a Cyclops-centric little ditty! Part One of Two, even! We're going all the way back to Scott's time in the Home for Foundlings... where, if my pro-friggin-fessional cover didn't tip y'off... something Sinister this way comes.

Let's do it.

--

We open at the playground at the Sinister Home For Foundlings in Nebraska. If you've been following the current-year stuff, you might recall that they recently burnt this place to the ground in the opening arc of Hellions -- which, like I always say on-air: "If you're not reading Hellions -- you should be reading Hellions." It's 18 or so issues of some of the finest in current-year comics, I honestly cannot recommend it enough. The book is so good, it almost brought this tired old cynic to tears! Anyway, it's here were some a-hole kid named Toby Rails is beating the crap out of this little weirdo called Nate. Nate is Scott Summers's's's roommate, and for reasons he can't quite explain, Scott has almost this "big brother" protectiveness over him. Hmm. Scott rushes into the fracas, and gets socked in the mush for his troubles. The fight is soon broken up by John Byrne.

Scott is whisked away to the nurse's office to get his face fixed up. In true Claremontian fashion, our new-doc introduces herself by name in her very first panel. She's Doctor Robyn Hanover, by the by. As she giddily presses some rubbing alcohol into Scott's eye-wound (I mean, she's smiling like the Cheshire Cat here... friggin' sadist), they talk about his homey Nate. Scott can't quite explain why he's so protective of his blonde buddy... especially since, he really doesn't actually like him all that much. He says something about the boy just rubs him wrong. A lotta wrong-rubbing in this scene.

That night, Scott has a nightmare. An odd, fragmented nightmare. There's fire, and falling... Scott is reaching out to save his roommate Nate from falling to his death. It's almost like something our boy might've experienced before winding up in the Orphanage. Hmm. Oh, and in case it's not clear -- Scott doesn't know anything about the time before he woke up at the Orphanage. He doesn't know much about what happened to his folks, or who they even were -- he also doesn't (consciously) know that he has a blonde little brother.

Scott awakes with a shout... which brings Doctor Robyn running in like a rocket. Nate tells her that Scott had a bad dream, but everything's okay now -- sorta the "nothing to see here!" gag. Doctor Robyn ain't buyin' it... and wants Scott to spend the night with her in the infirmary just in case. Toby Rails is there to see all this play out, and he starts singing about how Nate probably wants to make out with Scott... which, I mean -- imagine the bully at your school, or camp, or wherever... singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song. Ridiculous, right? Oh well, the Doc takes Scott -- Nate tells her she's making a hyooge mistake.

We rejoin Toby who's stomping back to his dorm. Along the way he bumps into... something Sinister. Mister Sinister, even! Sinister tells him that he's "tolerated" him until now... but, things are about to change.

The next morning, we catch up with Doctor Robyn, who is in the office talking about her new obsession... Scott Summers. She learns that he's been at the Home for Foundlings for over four years now. Also, that he came in after being in a coma for over a year after a skull fracture -- they assume he has severe brain damage. The only thing he seems to remember pre-coma was that he was nearly kidnapped by aliens. Which, well -- we know to be the case, but seems rather far-fetched, dunnit?

Robyn heads out to the hallway, where she runs into the Chief Administrator of the Orphanage... who gives her a few warnings: 1) don't wear sneakers in my hallways, ya hussy, 2) wear a longer skirt in my hallways, ya hussy, and 3) Scott Summers is still below the age of consent, so quit sniffin' around him. Well, that's the gist of it, anyway.

Let's stick with Robyn... because, Claremont really wants us to know her. She's moving in to her new office, with the aid of her new best friend, Scott Summers. As she hangs up a framed portrait of a plane, Scott takes a keen interest. He's a big-time fan of flyin' machines, ya see. He'd even want to one day be a pilot... though, he's sure his traumatic brain damage would keep him outta the cockpit. Robin feels like she's making headway... and is probably just about to offer Scott a libation, when -- there's some rumblin's coming from outside. Toby Rails... bully x-traordinaire, and amateur crooner... is in trouble!

And... indeed he is. He's actually stood atop one of the facility's dorms... and it looks like he might just jump. Rather than actually doing anything, the orphans and staff alike just gather and watch the scene play out. Li'l Nate is among the crowd, and seems mighty pleased that his tormentor might just take the leap. Doc Robyn calls him out for being so harsh... but, it doesn't do much for the little psychopath.

Now, since none of the adults will do anything about this -- it's up to the brain-damaged kid, Scott Summers to climb up the building and confront the a-hole who punched him in the face yesterday. Scott warns that it's a long way down and all that -- but Rails ain't hearing none of it... claiming he's about to "fly", he jumps. Scott manages to catch him by the hand... but, his grip can only hold for a few moments. Toby sandbags himself... and Scott just can't keep his grip. Toby falls.

It's weird, only after the fact does Doctor Robyn climb to the roof. Like, couldn't she have been of help, I dunno, 45 seconds ago? Like, if there were an adult up there, maybe they'd have been able to physically restrain Toby before he did what he did? I dunno. Anyway, as the Emergency Service Vehicles leave the premises, she tells Scott that none of this is his fault. He then waxes on a bit about the color of the sky.

We close out the chapter with Scott leaving the roof... and walking back to his dorm with his homey Nate. Nate, by the way, shoots a look that could kill in Doctor Robyn's direction... which she cannot help but to notice. She recalls that this is the same sort of look he shot Toby Rails last night. Uh-oh.

--

Now, okay, I may've had a little bit of fun with this one -- but, I really quite enjoyed it! Truth be told, and this might cost me my Fake-Ass X-Historian card, but -- this was my first time reading this one! I'd always heard about it -- as the genesis of the Sinister/Cyclops relationship, but up until now, never actually sat down with it. I wanna say the first time I'd read OF it was probably back in my old USENET stomping grounds -- it was probably part of Kate the Short's X-FAQ. Good grief, it's been a long time since I'd last thought of that. It was in that FAQ where I learned about Claremont's original intention for Mr. Sinister -- as a manifestation of an "imaginary friend" of sorts to Scott's twisted roommate that the Orphanage. I was instantly intrigued... because, it just seemed like such a cool idea. The look of Sinister... the name "Sinister"... it all seems like something a small child would think up when trying to concoct something "scary".

There was reference made to this very story -- which, as an X-Fan -- and a Cyclops-fan, I probably should have checked out some quarter-century ago. But, I didn't... and that's all due to a misunderstanding I had about it. When I read that this was the "intended" origin for Mr. Sinister, I think I kinda filed it away in the "out of continuity"/What if...? pile. As though, maybe the X-Office gave Claremont an issue's worth of pages to "play out" his original concept. Hey, it's not like the Vignettes have been making all that great'a use of those pages of late. In reading this far, however, I'm fairly certain that this story is in continuity... and, likely won't go all the way into Claremont's original vision. I'm guessing that Sinister isn't so much Nate's "imaginary friend"... but, Nate himself. Like, Sinister has taken the form of a child to get to Scott. He's probably also taking the form of other folks at the Home for Foundlings... at the very least, I'd guess he's also the Chief Admin who came down hard on Dr. Robyn for her sneaks.

At this point, Sinister's motivations aren't entirely clear. I mean, with all of our hindsight, we could make a few educated guesses -- but, in a vacuum, we're left wondering... at least for now. Why would Nate/Sinister orchestrate Toby Rails' suicide? Did he know that Scott would be the one to step up? Did he know that Scott would be unsuccessful in stopping him? Is that part of the plan? Was Doctor Hanover's arrival planned... or, is she a monkey wrench in the Sinister machine? If so... and since I don't think we've seen her since... I'm not too confident she's going to be making it outta this tale.

Overall -- like I said, this one ain't perfect... and relies a bit too much on convenience factors, but I very much enjoyed it all the same. I'm happy to have finally checked this one out, and am looking forward to seeing how it plays out.

Batman: Gotham Knights #33 (2002)

Batman: Gotham Knights #33 (November, 2002)
"Tabula Rase, Prologue: The Devil You Know..."
"The Monument"
Writers - Scott Beatty & Darwyn Cooke
Pencillers - Mike Collins & Bill Wray
Inker - Bill Sienkiewicz
Letterers - Bill Oakley & Rick Parker
Colorist - Gloria Vasquez
Separations - WildStorm FX
Assistant Editor - Valerie D'Orazio
Editors - Lysa Hawkins & Mike Chiarello
Cover Price: $2.75

I was considering turning this into a full-blown Devin Grayson week... and so, I started flipping through Gotham Knights, because she wrote a heckuva lot of this series.

As I flipped, I came across this issue... and I couldn't resist.  Y'all remember that time where Bane and Batman were... brothers?!

Bane Wayne... are ya kiddin' me?  He was my third favorite character on A Different World!

--

We open with a cinematic approach toward Wayne Manor... inside, Alfred, who is armed with a shotgun, is uncomfortably chatting up an uninvited house guest.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like the man of the house is currently otherwise engaged, he's off fighting a group of Gotham geeks.

Batman and Robin (and Nightwing via radio) make pretty quick work of Signal-Man, Corrosive Man, and everybody's favorite... Kite-Man.  After cleaning up the streets, the trio of BatFriends share a fairly contentious chat.  This story occurs during the aftermath of Bruce Wayne: Fugitive/Murderer... and thus far, Batman's been pretty tight-lipped on the whole ordeal... which isn't out of character in the slightest, but is a bit difficult for Dick and Tim to deal with.

Back at the Manor, Alfred is still a captive audience to... whoever this is (ignore the cover please).  He taps a lamp which triggers a silent alarm to the Batmobile.  Our guest ain't no dummy, and realizes exactly what Alfred just did... but doesn't really mind, as he's hoping to meet with Master Bruce.

Moments later, his wish is granted... and we learn that our house guest was... ignoring the cover... Bane!  I'm kinda getting a Darkseid lounging in Scott Free's easy chair vibe from the sight of Bane sipping tea (from a full service) at Wayne Manor.

Bane requests a moment of Bruce's time to discuss something he'd been working on.  This moment is begrudgingly granted... and the two retire to the Batcave.  Moments later, the rest of the Bat-team arrives, having responded to silent alarms of their own.  It's probably worth mentioning that Gotham Knights was sort of a Batman Family book.  The big man comments that he's never really had a family before... which, we'll come back to.  Oh yeah, Alfred still has the shotgun trained on Bane, by the way.

Finally, we get down to the nitty-gritty.  Bane requires Batman's aid in shutting down the various Lazarus Pits around the world.  There is one left that he cannot find... and is hopeful Batman's skills of deduction might point him in the right direction.  Bruce's all "What's in it for me?", to which Bane replies... "I will tell you something you need to know."  Well, I'm intrigued!

Off to the side, the rest of the Bat-Family grumbles.  They don't think any of this is kosher... but they realize there's no stopping Bruce.  We also get a bit of backstory on Bane's vendetta against Ra's al Ghul.  Turns out, Bane was offered the spot as heir (after Batman turned it down, natch) but couldn't quite cut the mustard.

We head back upstairs to Alfred answering a phone call from Leslie Thompkins... during which he speaks "in code" to inform her as to what's currently going down at the Manor.  Please note the quotes around "in code".

Just WHO could he be talking about???

We now shift to Batman and Bane's Excellent Adventure, wherein they meet with Jason Blood to see if he might aid in pin-pointing the location of that last straggling Lazarus Pit.  In a neat bit, Blood asks that Bane remove his mask to show his true face... Bane hesitates, asking why Batman doesn't need to remove his... to which, Blood says that the cowl is his true face.

Blood leads the Bat-buddies toward a flame, and tells them the story of Achilles... and boy howdy, it's boring.  It does, however, point them in the right direction.  Before they leave, we do get an Etrigan cameo... because, of course we do.

Next, Batman checks in with the Fam... and lets them know that he's heading off to ixnay the azaruspitLay.  The kids ain't keen with that... but, really... whattadeygonnado?  Bane and Batman board a jet... but before they leave, Bruce needs to cancel a date.  It's only two panels... but it's awesome.  We see Batman put on a cheesy smile in order to affect his jovial playboy voice.  Don't know why, but I really dig this!  So unnecessary... but adds so much!

Dick checks in with Oracle to keep her apprised of what's going on... though, if she's Oracle, she likely already knows.  He mentions that Tim believes Bruce's outreach to Bane stems from his feelings of guilt vis-a-vis the whole Vesper Fairchild murder thing.  He also mentions that they lost radio contact with him... just as he and Bane are "whirly-batting" (love that!) onto a remote island.

Bat and Bane head into some ruins, and run into some baddies... who they beat up.  Batman is adamant that there is no killing... and Bane begrudgingly complies.  After the dust settles, Batman pours some Waynetech Microorganisms into the Lazarus Pit to purify it.  While Bane would rather just destroy it, Bruce feels just cleaning it up would add insult to injury for the al Ghuls.

With a job well done, they climb back on board the jet... and it's time for Bane to pay the piper.  Turns out he wasn't bluffing when he said he had information for our main man... he retrieves a photograph of Thomas Wayne from his belt pouch...

... and reveals that Bane and Bruce Wayne are... brothers?!

I'd love to move on to our discussion part... but we've got a Batman Black & White backup to trudge through.  It opens with Gotham philanthropist Alexander Goodwin erecting a monument to Batman in Robinson Park... ya see, the Batman just rescued Goodwin's daughter Justine.

Turns out Batman ain't entirely pleased with being immortalized in stone... go figure!  Anyhoo, over the next week, the monument plays home to all sorts of activity... graffiti-artists... a cult of worshipers... protesters... yadda yadda yadda.  Oh yeah, Hugo Strange is seen hanging out there every day too.

Hugo than kidnaps reporter Summer Gleason... and plans to blow up the Batman "idol" with her strapped to it!  Ya see, he wants the people of Gotham to worship him instead of Batman... which sounds totally reasonable!

Shock of shocks, Batman is able to rescue Ms. Gleason... and it looks like everything will be hunky dory, until...

... the monument blows up anyway!

Of course... we wrap up with the reveal that Batman himself blew up the statue once Summer was free.

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Now, despite the reveal being spoiled by the cover... I thought this was a fantastic issue.  From the early pacing, to the caper, to the concerns of the cast... and into the cliffhanger (as silly an idea as it might be to some)... this was pretty awesome!

It felt like just so much happened during this story... we had multiple settings... multiple action scenes... and multiple conversational bits.  If this were to come out today, it would take four months!

I love the idea of Bane and Batman having an uneasy alliance against a common enemy.  There's definitely no love lost between them... but there is this weird respect... and even trust that they share.  Bane says it himself... I beat you, and you beat me... we're even now.  So weird... but also, feels so right.  I think all of the dialogue between Bruce and Bane were masterfully written.

Let's talk the opening... and our Bane's point of view.  I thought this was really neat... if only it wasn't spoiled by the cover (and probably the solicit... I'd have to dig through my Previews archives though).  There was a real feeling of tension there... it's probably worth mentioning here that Mike Collins' art here was pretty excellent.  There's this fear... tinged with anger on Alfred's face.  Very well done!

Speaking of Alfred though... dude, your "talking in code" game needs a little help.  I mean, your code word for Bane is... "Bane"?  C'mon man...

The Bat-Family feeling a bit left out... is nothing new, but is handled quite well.  I dig the idea of them being sort of a peanut gallery... where they have each other to kvetch at and bounce ideas off.  It really makes them feel like a "family" and not just a loosely assembled team.

Then... the big reveal.  Bane and Bruce are... brothers?!  Sure, this doesn't last all that long, and is kind of silly... but imagine the possibilities!  Bane should have had the same posh upbringing as Bruce, however, he was in an horrid orphanage/prison in Whereverthehell, South America.  Hell, maybe if Bane were raised in Gotham, the Waynes wouldn't have been murdered?  Maybe there'd be no Batman?  It's a lot of fun to theorize... though I recall it not being received all that well online at the time.

The backup... ehhh.  I gotta say, it's not too often where I get a whole lot out of a backup.  I mean, outside of silly Bronze-Age stuff like Mr. and Mrs. Superman and The Private Life of Clark Kent, I don't really have much use for them... they often just feel like page-filler, and worse yet... they often take away from the impact the main story tries to make.

I hate to besmirch the writings of Darwyn Cooke, but this story felt... I dunno, perhaps a bit to pleased with itself?  Like, the shallowest sort of deep?  I dunno... my most visceral reaction to it is a halfhearted sigh... maybe a shrug.  The art was neat... though, Batman did look fairly horrid in a few of the panels.  It's like Wray was sort of evoking Frank Miller... but couldn't quite stick the landing.  The back-up was skippable is all I'm saying.

I understand giving people value for their dollar... and I get that Batman Black & White was kind of "the hotness" back 'round the turn of the century... but I'd have been just fine without it.  I really feel like it robbed from the impact of the "Bane is Batman's brother" reveal.

Overall... had a ton of fun with this... more than I expected.  If you're following the blog, you've probably noticed that I'm revisiting a lot of 2000's stuff right now... it's hard to believe that we're already almost two decades into 'em... and it's been almost that long since I've read many/most of these issues!  Anyhoo... this one is worth checking out.  It is available digitally... and, if you're still on the fence about Gotham Knights, DC has the first issue available FOR FREE.  Give it a gander!

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