X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Four (1990)

 

X-Men Vignettes #44 (1990)
"Her First & Last"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Pencils - Kieron Dwyer
Inks - Hilary Barta
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #44 (February, 1990)

Somebody queue up Kenny Loggins, cuz... This is it! Today is the final chapter of X-Men Vignettes... well, sorta.

Thanks to the tip from our great friend, Chris U, I now know that there was supposed to be a back-up story in Classic X-Men #45... which, all we fake-ass X-Historians know... didn't appear there. Well, I didn't know nothin' bout any'a dat! What's more, I didn't know that the story meant for Classix #45 would eventually see print in the pages of Marvel Fanfare #60 (January, 1992)!

So, with this newfound information, I took to the mean streets, added around 150 miles to my odometer... and, came up with bupkis! Ya see, what I didn't realize about Fanfare #60 was, a) it was the final issue and evidently, rather underprinted, and b) it has Black Panther on the cover, who just so happens to be one of the more exploitable Marvel characters of current year!

So, what's a fella to do? If you've been with me for awhile, you'll be familiar with many of my hunts... the Lady Cop issue of 1st Issue Special, Vartox's appearances in the pre-Flashpoint Power Girl, DC's New Talent Showcase... there've been a bunch. Well, here's what I did... I asked one of the guys at a nearby comic shop if he might have a copy "in the back". Now, "in the back", as it pertains to comic book back issues, is a pretty nebulous locale... as it could mean several things. Maybe it's literally in the back room of the shop... maybe it's off-site not yet rotated in to the shop's stash... maybe they've got a warehouse, or at the very least a storage unit... maybe it's their own personal collection... or, maybe they'll just find it on eBay and sell it to me for twice what they paid for it? I don't ask for the specifics... cuz, honestly, it doesn't really matter to me, so long as I get the thing in my hot li'l hands.

All this to say... I'm about 85% sure that I've procured a copy of Marvel Fanfare #60. Just waiting on a call to swing in and pick it up. So, while this is the end of the Vignettes "proper", it ain't the end of our time cuttin' it up here together. Be on the lookout for the "missing" Vignette in the coming days!

Now, this does leave us with a question... it's that usual "end of a project" question. What's next?

Well, it's time for my usual "end of a project" answer... which is to say, I dunno...

What I do know is that I've gotta get back behind the mic for a bit. For folks who've been with me from the start, you'll likely be somewhat familiar with my content creation "origin story". Well, of late I've been in discussions with... and ultimately welcomed back into the Weird Science family -- where I'll be doing a bit of X-Content, including coverage of this summers A/X/E: Judgment Day crossovent. That said, I'm going to have to "get current" on "current". As it stands now, I'm around a dozen or so shows (and books) behind where X-Lapsed needs to be... and so, I gotta start spittin' again.

That's not to say we're done here... not by a longshot (and, no, I'm not about to start covering Longshot... yet). There's still plenty I wanna write about -- got some long abandoned blogging projects that may need some love and attention... and, of course, I'm always down to discuss any of the "forgotten" Vignette-y X-Men stories. We already covered a few Wolverine solo ditties from Marvel Comics Presents... maybe an X-Focused return to MCP could be our next thing?! We'll see, eh?

Anyway, that's enough vampin' from me -- thanks for joining me on this odd little trip thru the X-Men's Days of Forgotten Past... I hope you enjoyed!

--

Today's story is Rogue-centric... and it opens with her hanging out with her buddy/pal/sweetheart, Cody. Err, he's "Freddy" here, but... c'mon, we know it's Cody. Rogue plays tough... kinda like one of the boys... and just as our visit begins, she's thrown from the handlebars of CodeFred's bike. She lands gracefully, "Good as a cat", sayeth our slackjawed friend. He chases her, scoops her up... and goes to give her a kiss. Naturally, she fights him off, giving him a good judo toss to evade the lip lock. Her "mother" sees this all play out, and is not at all pleased. CodeFred tells Rogue that "Kissin's fun", before hoppin' back on his bike and pedalin' on down the road.

Mystique approaches Rogue to warn her that she's gotta be more careful. Ya know, skin-to-skin contact is kind of a no-no for her... hence the odd bodysuit she's wearing. Funny, Codefred didn't seem to care, or even notice, that his gal-pal is covered neck to toe in fabric. Anyway, rogue stomps off, claiming that she wants to play and have fun... and she's done doing "missions" with her weird parents.

On the porch, Mystique is joined by Destiny... who advises caution in how to deal with Rogue. Ya see, she's not like them... and she will leave them when it becomes clear that their Brotherhood has "darker ways" of doing business. Further, Destiny suggests that Mystique might be jealous of Rogue. Jealous of what, exactly? The uncontrollable powers that keep her isolated? The fact that she's barely a teen-ager and already has white hair? Her slackjawed boyf? I dunno...

From here we jump to a nearby cliff, where Rogue and CodeFred are taking turns defying death by swinging on some rope that's dangling over the edge. Sounds like fun, eh? Our boy once again attempts to force himself on Rogue... and gets swatted away. He's starting to become frustrated, and asks her why she won't do this one thing. Now, I know this is a "coming of age" story of romance... but, I swear "current year" must be majorly effing with my mind, cuz now I think I've been trained to see this as the early stages of a sexual assault. Oy. Anyway, CodeFred decides that he's got one last ace up his sleeve... he's going to DARE HER to kiss him. Well, he probably should'a lead with that, cuz that was all it took! Rogue plants a kiss on our boy.

And the next three pages are a collage of everything Rogue sees in CodeFred's life. His experiences, his fears, his joy... ya know, his everything. Things Rogue wanted to know... but, not the way she wanted to find it all out. She's been robbed of a proper courtship... she wanted CodeFred to share these things with her willingly... not have them (literally?) sucked out his mind.

Rogue runs off while our boy is still a bit dazed. He was kayoed for a bit, but doesn't end up in a coma. I guess that was a late addition to add a bit more trauma to Rogue's story...

From here, Rogue rushes back home... where it would appear she's had an entire change in attitude. She's suddenly gung-ho to go out on the next Brotherhood mission... and gleefully jams down a pile of chocolate chip cookies (wow, are these home-baked?). This is where we leave her... and the Vignettes project!

--

A somewhat "lighter" story to wrap up the Vignettes Initiative... especially when compared to the last few chapters, which were positively dripping with angst. I quite liked it. I feel like this hits the "sweet spot" in as far as how these backups should be treated. We're adding to a characters' backstory in a way that doesn't break any of the (then) current-day toys. It's a profound moment in Rogue's life... but, doesn't... I dunno "insist upon itself". Definitely not a day Rogue would forget... but, also not a day she'd talk everybody's ear off about. Does that make sense?

This is a story I think many of us seasoned X-Fans are at least tangentially familiar with. I mean, it even got play in the Animated Series. I think the telling might've been a little bit different -- like that her powers actually manifested at the time of the kiss... and the kiss leaving poor Cody-Freddy in a coma, but at its core, it's the same little ditty... and it's well-told.

I appreciate how Rogue's change of demeanor was presented. Having just seen firsthand what her powers can do... she kinda buries her grief and sadness. She knows that she's been robbed of an experience she was really looking forward to in learning bits and bobs about Freddy as their relationship grew and developed. She cried out in the beginning of the issue that she wanted to be "normal". Now, more than ever, she realizes that... that's just not in the cards for her. It's heartbreaking. And so, rather than dwell on it... or, at the very least not tipping off Mystique that she dun goofed -- she becomes very enthusiastic about the Brotherhood's next mission. Red flags? Sure... but, to a confused pre-teen/teen-ager, she's not thinking about any of that.

As far as the "mission" is concerned... well, since the Nocenti-Rogue story that appears in Marvel Fanfare #60 is called... "The Mission", maybe we can assume that there's more to tell? I suppose that's something we'll find out together... in, hopefully, just a few days!

Oh, last thing before we put a pin in this one -- I do wanna say that I really dug the art. I feel like it suited the story quite well.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Three (1990)

 

X-Men Vignettes #43 (1990)
"Flights of Angels"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Pencils - Mike Collins
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #43 (January, 1990)

Well, this was a pain in the ass. If you read yesterday's piece, you'll know that this issue of Classix is one that I was prrrretty sure I owned, but was unable to actually locate. If you're familiar with the ridiculous rules I have for this place, you'll know that I only cover books that I physically own... in some form or fashion. Could be original issue, collected edition, whichever -- though, at the start it was even more rigid than that. I tell ya, I've got problems.

So, I spent the better part of a couple of hours yesterday tearing apart a few rooms across two residences trying to find it. This is the kind of stupid stuff I spend my time doing. I could be out there trying to make the world a better place, could be volunteering, could be actually productive... but no, that kinda stuff can wait -- Classic X-Men #43 is missing!

All that to say -- I didn't find it. I even hit a few shops (including two horrendous swap marts) to try and procure a second copy... but, alas, no. Time well spent, eh? What is my life anyway?

So, while I was unsuccessful in search... I do own it. It's in my Excel Spreadsheet... and, books don't get added to that by mistake. I literally type up the information from the credits and indicia for every single comic that gets added... so, it's somewhere in the house. That said, I don't feel too bad about resorting to snipping the pics from Marvel Unlimited. I'm sure I'll probably find the hard copy... in about an hour and change when I'm done writing up this piece.

Was the search, the headache, and the hassle worth it? Welllllllll... read on.

--

We open with a recap of the life of Jean...ix. And, I wanna get my overall density out of the way right from the jump. As we discussed when she was shoehorned into Cyclops' story yesterday, Jean's backstory is "conveniently inconvenient"... which is to say, it's whatever the hell whoever is writing it wants it to be. Ya dig? Maybe I'm just a tremendous idiot, but I feel like they play way too fast and loose with her... even this (relatively) early on. So, is this Jean? Is it the Phoenix? Is it both? Is it neither? Yes. Anyway, after this photo album-in-the-shape-of-a-woman burns to ash (with flaming bird imagery, natch); she, they, it wakes up... somewhere.

Nearby on this barren patch of cosmic land, is a flight of stairs leading down. From those stairs climbs a man, holding a whole lotta steel girders and whatnot. Jean's understandably confused, and goes to ask him the whats and wheres. He isn't too forthcoming with that information... perhaps these are answers she's going to need to discover herself?

After petulantly stomping away, Jeanix realizes that she's now wearing white. She is, once again, confused. The Green Phoenix was the "good" one, the red the "bad"... so, what does white mean? Before she can figure it out, she slips and bumps her butt on the ground. She takes in the sights around her... seeing hundreds, if not thousands of stars all around. Only, they're not stars... each little glimmering "pin prick" is an entire galaxy. Jean is stood before the entirety of the universe.

The Construction Worker at the End of Time approaches to comfort her, bringing with him a cuppa hot somethin'. Jean indulges her inner-Claremont, talking so much poor Joe Rosen likely had to use one'a those jeweler's eye piece gimmicks while lettering. She compares herself to Alice in Wonderland... which, I mean... that's usually the "go to" when a writer wants to implement a level of depth to their story, right? She then goes to dive off the side of this odd construct -- but, the Village Person stops her. Ya see, if she were to jump -- she'd fall... forever.

He then leaves her to return to his work. Jeanix talks about having died once before... on her way, to Jamaica Bay (I'm guessing). But that death was nothing like this. That's probably because you didn't actually die? Again, fast 'n loose. Jeanix doesn't care to speak with this fella anymore, and so she heads down the stairs he climbed up from. Only, it brings her right back to the same place. The dude tosses her a tool belt so she can help him build... whatever it is he's building.

A little while later, Jeanix has built a small tower gimmick. Satisfied with her work, she gives it a closer look. From it, bursts a blast of light... followed by a vision of the time Dark Phoenix wiped out the Asparagus People... or, in the words of current-year writers, who likely never read The Dark Phoenix Saga (or anything X, pre-2019)... the "Broccoli People". Whatever veg ya wanna refer to 'em as, it's the D'Bari... and Jean is there with them for the horrible event.

Jeanix's "This Was Your Life" doesn't end there, however, as next she finds herself on board the Shi'ar Starship she'd destroyed as Dark Phoenix. She's being forced to relive the atrocities... by actually experiencing them. She recalls the hunger, and pleasure she felt as Dark Phoenix during all of this, causing her to shout out.

This brings our Construction Worker back from the YMCA to check in. He tells her to let everything that happened go. Jeanix realizes that this dude... is Death. He tells her that the place they're at is the... ugh... Alpha and Omega... the beginning and end. Ya know, considering how often we hear that line in comics... there sure are a lotta people, places, and things that are exactly that. Jeanix also deduces that... she might be death as well. Oh, please be done.

No, it's not done... we got more retconnin' to do. Ya see, Jeanix is preoccupied with all the death and destruction she'd caused -- to which, our Blue-Collar Grim-Reaper tells her that she's not looking at the entire picture. Sure, there was destruction and loss of life... however, over the course of her existence, she's saved countless lives as well. Fair point... but, then it gets weird. Remember how in yesterday's chapter, Jean and Professor X just showed up at the end of Cyclops' story? Remember how unnatural and forced that felt? Well, there was reason that happened... I think. Death asks if Jeanix thinks it was an accident that she "touched minds" with a young Scott Summers... who had become an orphan due to that actions of Emperor D'Ken. Death explains that the mental contact they shared was what drew Scott to Xavier's School where they'd meet and fall in love. Then... some time later, they would work together to stop that same Emperor D'Ken from effin' around with the M'Krann Crystal. So... um... yeah.

Jeanix's just as displeased with this reveal as I am... unhappy that her entire life has this preordained or fated framework to it. She asks if their entire lives have been spent as nothing more than playthings for Death's own "celestial amusement". Our man doesn't really answer the question, instead giving her a lesson on what the Phoenix actually is... not a "being" or an "entity", but instead... a force. "The sum and substance of all that lives". Clear as mud, right? This is starting to feel like nothing more than a string of impressive-sounding-but-ultimately-meaningless phrases Chris Claremont had scribbled on Post-it's and stuck all around his office.

Anyway, this appears to be enough for Jeanix to embrace her Phoenixhood. She lights up into the flaming bird, feels the "life force" and the cosmos singing at her... and she leaves to... I dunno, secretly spread her Phoenix-ness around the universe?

We wrap up with Death the Builder left all alone on his planetoid looking at pictures of various Jean life events... including several that feature... Mister Sinister. Not sure if these photos are in any sort of order, as take us from Jeanix getting vaporized... Jean's first run-in with the Phoenix... Jean winding up in Jamaica Bay... Mr. Sinister mucking about with, what I'm going to guess are several attempts at "makin' Maddy". In any event, Death apologizes -- knowing that Jean's got some very tough lessons yet to learn.

--

My Lord, but that was endless...

This might just be a "you had to be there" sort of story. I mean, as I've said, Jean's history is what it is... it also what it was... and finally, it's whatever the hell whoever's writing her wants it to be. She's a hard character to peg down... especially considering how little effort's been put into doing so over the years. Perhaps, had I read this back in ye old 1989/90, I'd have a better appreciation for it. For all of Claremont's efforts in trying to make sense of the "was she?" or "wasn't she?" of the Jean/Phoenix/Jeanix situation. Instead, I'm reading this (for the first time) over three decades later.

In the time since this story came out, Jean's actually died -- and was off the board for well over a decade. The Phoenix has found several different hosts, been stolen as a concept from the X-Men by the Avengers... and even spent some time in the friggin' Ultraverse! Several non-Jean characters have wound up visiting the White Hot Room. What I'm trying to say is... there's been a lotta sh-- stuff gone down that makes a story like this feel both painfully overwritten and almost quaint.

Let's set all the Jeanix bits aside... cuz, gun to my head, I couldn't tell ya what her story is or was... or what it was supposed to be in 1980... 1990... or 2022! Instead, here's my main takeaway... the idea that the Jean/Scott relationship was preordained. I'm really not sure what Claremont was going for here... or why he went to such lengths to retcon that into their histories. In fairness, it's been a minute since I'd read Inferno (the first one)-era X-Men -- by Classix #43, Inferno and the Maddy reveal were already in the rear-view -- maybe this was odd "fated" deal was mentioned during that? I honestly couldn't say. In any event... I don't like this addition. To me, all it does is lessen their relationship. Maybe I'm just an idiot. You tell me!

Overall... I did not care for this one. It was cool seeing the White Phoenix costume, as I've always felt that was a pretty striking look... but, everything else? Ehh. At least it tied in with the main story of the issue, I guess?

Next time out, we wrap up our look at the Vignettes proper, with the story you may all be more familiar with from the X-Men Animated Series. It's Rogue an' Codeh', sugahs... don'tcha dare miss it!

Chris and Reggie's Cosmic Treadmill, Episode 137: Street Poet Ray #1 (1990)

Chris and Reggie's Cosmic Treadmill, Episode #137

Street Poet Ray #1 (1990)
"The Word from the Street"
By Michael Redmond and Junko Hosizawa
Marvel Comics

So, ninety-some-odd seconds after I clicked "New Post", Blogger finally decided to actually open one.  They really want me to use their new version... even though that one's just as broken (if not moreso) as the "legacy" version!  Also, it took me several browser restarts just to import the one image atop this post.  Thanks Blogger!

Well, maybe I shouldn't be so sarcastic.  Maybe they're just looking out for us... because if this platform wasn't such trash, we'd still be looking at the Byrne/Mackie Reboot right now!

Instead, let's get poetic!

Spider-Man and the New Mutants #1 (1990)

Spider-Man and the New Mutants #1 (1990)
"Homework for Spidey"
"Hits and Misses!"
Writers - Walter Simonson & Louise Simonson
Pencils - Alex Saviuk & Bret Blevins
Inks - Keith Williams & Bret Blevins
Letters - Janice Chiang
Colors - Evelyn Stein
Edits - Bob Budiansky
Chief - Tom DeFalco
Sponsored By - K-Mart

Now, if you've been following this site for any amount of time, you'll probably know that I've got a big-time weakness for PSA issues.  I won't bother linking to 'em here, but it's safe to say we've seen our fair share of "very special" issues here.

Today we're going to be looking at one starring Spider-Man... and some young folks.  No, it's not that Spider-Man and Young Folks PSA (though that one would almost certainly get me more hits and engagement).  We're going to check out one I never even knew existed until happening across it a few months back at a used bookstore.  Spider-Man and... Skids?  Really, Skids?  Of X-Terminators, New Mutants, and "Rusty and..." "fame"?  Well... okay then.

This one, going by the cover, has to do with child abuse... which, is a slippery slope and a subject I'm a bit nervous to cover here.  I hope I can do so with the proper respect and insight... I guess you'll all be the judge from here on in...

--

Our first story opens with Spider-Man swinging by, I'm guessing, a rather unsavory neighborhood... where he happens across something of a rumble.  Two rival gangs are havin' it out in broad daylight... and it's up to our hero to shut 'em down.  Which he does, more or less just by showing up.  The gangbangers scatter... and the day is saved, or so it seems.  Amid the newfound silence, Spidey hears another scuffle goin' on nearby... this time, concerning some children!  He hops over to the playground, and this is where we meet... a kid named Billy.

Billy is beating up a kid named Junior... and Spider-Man would really like to know why.  Ya see, Junior was talking about Billy behind his back... oh no he di-in't!  And so, Billy decided to enforce some playground justice.  When Spidey presses him for his rationale, we learn that... this kid has literally had it beaten into him that "might makes right".  His teacher, Mrs. Pettigrew routinely hits Billy!

Spider-Man ain't cool with that... and thinks to himself that, this is probably what leads kids in this playground to ultimately become the gangbangers he had to break up two minutes ago.  He pulls Billy aside to have a chat... and suggests that the kid tell his parents that he's being abused in school.  Billy isn't so sure... he thinks his folks will just say he's making it all up.  Spidey suggests he try anyway... ya never know.

And so, they swing on over to Billy Maslin's house... and meet his parents, Wilson and Mary.  Billy attempts to explain the situation... which, initially doesn't go all that well.  His father figures, if the teacher is hitting him, it's probably because he'd done something to deserve it.  When Billy reveals that he'd also just gotten into another fight with Junior... Papa Wilson threatens a spanking!  Right there, in front of Spider-Man!  How embarrassing.

Spidey's all "whoa-whoa-whoa"... and suggests to Daddy that spanking might not be the most helpful approach at present.  He says what Billy needs right now is moral support... and really presses the couple to chat up Mrs. Pettigrew about the, ya know, public displays of child abuse.  Just then, Mary gets it in her head that maybe they should talk to Billy's teacher.  Don'tcha just love it when you give someone an idea... then they pretend they came up with it themselves?  Whatever the case... the Maslins are going to head to P.S. whatever the heck, to chat up the teach.

Spider-Man swings by as the Maslins are about to head inside, and pats himself on the back for facilitating this whole thing.  Did Mrs. Pettigrew stop beating up Billy?  Well... I suppose that doesn't really matter, since the story ends here.

Our second story features Skids of the New Mutants... as she's shopping for some nondescript canned goods.  Unfortunately for her, the nondescript food item she covets is all the way up on the top shelf... and when she reaches for it, she manages to topple a whole heapin' helpin' of nondescript cans all over the place!  This does give her the opportunity to show off her mutant "deflector shield" ability... so, I think we can allow it.

While she picks up the newly-dented cans... she spies a mother attempting to grocery-shop with three children, which I'm pretty sure was one of Dante's Circles of Hell.  It does not look pleasant in the slightest.

The two older kids are arguing over which form of diabetes they're going to be having for breakfast that week, and are getting pretty wound up... and wind up knocking over a whole display.  At this point... Mom's had enough.  It's spankin' time!

This sends Skids into a flashback about her earlier adolescence... when she was the regular victim of abuse at the hands of her stepfather.  It was during one of these beatings that her mutant deflector shield powers manifested.  She was so traumatized, that she remained inside her bubble for several years.

She knows she's going to have to intervene... which, I dunno about you... makes me feel pretty uncomfortable.  She uses her shield to protect the young girl who is still being thrashed by her mother.  Rather than throwing Mom into even more of a rage, this measure actually gets her to stop and consider her actions.  Skids tells the mother to finish up her shopping and that she'll help the kids pick up the knocked over display.  The mother... probably dazed out of her mind at this point, agrees.

So, we've got Skids and the kids picking up a bunch of boxes of cereal... when little brother starts acting out.  Upon seeing this, big sister goes to... you guessed it... smack the boy.  Skids stops her mid-swing, and asks her to think about what's she's about to do.  She doesn't like it when her mother hits them... and here she is, about to hit her brother.

Big sister is confused... she doesn't understand the mixed messages her mother gives her.  On one hand, she can be so nice... but, on the other... she can be abusive.  Finally, mom wraps up her shopping... just in time for a lecture from Skids.  Our Sally suggests that Mom maybe take some classes in parenting (oh no she di-in't)... and, rather than Mom hauling off and slapping her... the Mom agrees.  Unfortunately, she just doesn't have the time.  Skids then offers to watch the children for her so she can.  After all, that's what friends... and weird teen-agers you run into at the grocery store... are for.

--

This... is going to be a tough one to actually analyze.  Not only do to its PSA nature, but by the arguably contentious subject matter.  I can't assume to know everybody's position on whether or not a child ever deserves to be spanked/hit... all I can do is tell ya my story, and I apologize in advance for these next several self-indulgent paragraphs.

Growing up, there were times where I'd get hit.  I mean, I hate the fact that I'm "of a certain age" nowadays where I can reflect on my childhood as a time where this was more widely socially acceptable... just makes me feel ancient.  Anyhoo, did I like it?  No.  Did I deserve it?  Maybe... maybe not.  Did it effect and modify my behavior?  Definitely.  Here's the thing though... did I learn my lesson?  Did I realize, via the punishment, why what I was doing was wrong?  No... can't say that I did.

Being a full-time student of psychology for around a decade at this point, and working on my third degree... I've taken many, many classes on child and adolescent psychology, as well as (mostly Skinnerian) behaviorism.  Spanking as punishment is ever the hot-button topic... made even more interesting by the fact that grad school is typically made up of a very diversely aged group of students.  There are people in their 60's, people my age, and... yes, people in their mid-20's.  It's very eye-opening to hear the "takes" on hitting from such a differently-aged assortment of intellectuals.

There's a saying in psychology that... the best research is me-search, which is to say... you're your own best subject, since you know your history, and have 100% access.  When discussions become heated... we're often told to look within, with an analytical eye... ya know?  Like, push aside the emotion, push aside everything but "what is".  It's basic A-B-C behaviorism (antecedent leads to behavior leads to consequence).  You break apart an action, and more or less analyze it by its component parts.

It's not often I change my mind on things... especially things I grew up accepting as fact.  So, initially... when the concept of spanking was introduced to conversation, I looked at it as just something that "happened", ya know?  "I got smacked, and I turned out okay!"  That sort of thing.  But... there's this thing called cognitive dissonance.  It's when you hold a position, but also many cognitions that fly in the face of that position.  While I got hit... and was okay with it, it wouldn't be something I would do if/when I had children of my own.  Now, why is that?

Well, in reflecting and breaking down the A-B-C's... I came to the conclusion that spanking, yes... did result in a change of behavior.  At the same time, however, it didn't tell me why what I was doing that elicited the smack was wrong, ya dig?  I stopped "misbehaving" not because I actually learned anything... it was simply to avoid reprisal.  It was this realization that... well, it caused me to become a bit more "fluid" with my personal position on the subject.

I didn't mean to waste the last few minutes of your day on that paragraph... that became a short essay, but... ehh, we're already here.  What does all my gobbledygook have to do with the stories we just read?  Well, rather than simply viewing them as a black and white issues... it causes the hamster on the wheel in my head to start spinning out a bit.

Let's start with the second story, as it's one that I can better wrap my head around.  This feels like something you could see in any Walmart on any day of the week... and, it's weird.  If we see this going down, and the parent does nothing... we judge them.  Conversely, if this happens and the parent(s) get slap-happy... we also judge them.  Can't win fer losin'... so, what's the right answer?

Putting ourselves in the shoes of a tired mother dragging three children to the grocery store... two of whom are whirling dervishes... what would we do?  Not being a parent, it's easy for me to say "tell the children to behave" and be done with it.  That's... unfortunately, not realistic, is it?  So, what would we do?  I don't have an easy answer.

Going by the A-B-C approach... we can suggest that perhaps the cereal aisle is a "trigger" for the tots... and, so... maybe mom should just avoid it?  Also, let's check out the consequences... hitting... which, is also, attention.  These are three kids with an overworked and overtired mother... could the attention they get from being hit be something of a positive reinforcer?  Ya see, I'm thinking far too hard about this, haha.  I've been on semester break for all of a week at this point, maybe I just miss grad school.

One more step though before we shift gears.  Skinnerian behaviorism involves something called "extinction"... which posits (very simply) that any attention, good or bad, can serve as  reinforcing a behavior.  Anything from rewards to a beating... can reinforce a behavior in a given situation.  Extinction is, more or less, ignoring the behavior... not giving any reaction... and, in so doing (or not doing), removing any possible reinforcement from it.  So, those parents in Walmart not doing anything about their screaming kids?  They might just be practicing Skinnerian behaviorism!  No, they're probably not...

As a story... it was okay.  I do feel like Sally was sorta-kinda taking her life into her own hands in a) intervening, and b) suggesting mom take parenting classes.  I don't know that I'd suggest anyone actually do that... unless you're cool with getting beaten up yourself!

Now, the first story... corporal punishment in schools.  Hmm... this feels like something out of the 1950's, but... it ain't!  In fact, on one of the "et-cetera" pages I've included below, we learn that as of 1990, two-thirds of schools still allowed teachers to swat the tots with a paddle!  Whaaa?

I wanna say, having Billy's father be quick to swat... maybe confused the issue a bit?  I get that we're really trying to press the issue of spanking here, but... this just felt like a step too far.  Kinda pulled me out of the story... unless we're supposed to think that poor Billy's just constantly getting beaten up, whether at school or at home.  I think we could'a just done with one or the other.

Also, the quick turnaround and non-ending didn't do all that much for me.  Out of the two stories, this one felt like an "assignment", whereas the New Mutants chapter actually had some of that trademark Louise Simonson "heart".  The back half, as heavy-handed as it was, could very easily have been fitted into a back-up slot in a New Mutants Annual or something... where the Spidey strip... ehh... it was cashin' a check, and not much more.

Overall... I thought this was fine.  Some top talent were involved in this... and, at least the back-half, didn't feel like a "throwaway".  Worth a peek if you happen across it in the cheap-o bins!

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Et-Cetera:

BONUS BOOK - Lightning Racers (1990)

BONUS BOOK - Lightning Racers (January, 1990)
"Lightning Racers"
Written, Drawn, Colored, Lettered, and Edited by... someone, I guess!  Was it you?  Please, let me know!

I always say... if you're gonna do something, ya do it all the way.  Last month we started our journey, weaving through Insert Prevues and Bonus Books, taking a look at every last one.  Well, I use several sources online for my information... and, around Christmastime, when I was perusing Mike's Amazing World's "Bonus Books" list... I was reminded of this very Lightning Racers insert.  This is something I'd seen a couple of times during various read-thru's of old DC Comics... but, certainly not anything I'd ever stopped to actually read.

Well, we're going to fix that today... and, with it... officially draw a line under our Bonus Books coverage!

Though it appeared in several DC books around this time, I am reading it from Superman (vol.2) #39 (January, 1990).  Oh, by the way... if you have even the foggiest who wrote/drew/contributed to this story, please lemme know!  I have not been able to find even a single credit for this bugger!

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Our story opens with a trio of lads engaged in micro-racing battle!  Who will wind up in the winner's circle?  Will it be... that one kid's Grasshopper?  Perhaps the other kid's Rising Bird?  Or, maybe... just maybe, the third kid's Avante.  I'm going with the last one, because it's got the fanciest name.  Well, as it turns out... it's a moot point.  Ya see, MRC-Tamiya Racers are so easy to assemble, customize, and optimize... that these racers were neck-and-neck for the entire duration!  There's no photo-finish in micro-race land, so I suppose we'll have to call this one a three-way tie.  Though, if I'm being impartial and honest, I'd probably give it to Grasshopper.  Just then, a fourth lad arrives on the scene to show off his latest and greatest.  Ya see, he dumped that piece'a crap micro racer he used to run... and wisely bought himself an MRC-Tamiya.  His is the Vanquish, Jr.  Junior?  Is there a Senior version?  Can micro cars reproduce?

The boys are overjoyed that their pal joined them on the darkside of Microcar racing.  When asked how he could afford such luxury, this new kid reveals that, Vanquish, Jr. didn't break his bank in the slightest!  In fact, he only had to save up less than one week's allowance.  Less than one week's allowance?  Is this little jerk paid by the day?  I don't think that's how allowance works.  He bought it from Mr. Gibbons' store... where, wouldn'tcha know it, he's got The Official MRC-Tamiya Racing Circuit set up!  What luck!  Now the kids won't have to use "lengths of hose" to keep their cars from bumping into each other!

Less than thirty-minutes later, Vanquish, Jr. has been assembled.  Ya see, check this out... with MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers, you don't even need glue!  Bah God, they just snap together, and you're good to go!  So easy, even a dullard can do it!  Though, it's worth noting, this particular dullard looks mighty proud of his achievement... smug, even!  We follow the quartet to the mall, where they're keen to get down and dirty on the regulation racetrack.

Just then, from across the way... there's a bit of a to-do at the jewelry store!  Ya see, a costume baddie has shown up... and he's threatening to use his Shrink-Ray to, well, shrink all of the jewelry in the joint so he can steal it.  I mean, isn't jewelry already small enough?  I dunno.  The proprietor of the jewelry store doesn't take this goofball seriously, and even pulls a "Get a load'a dis guy?" to ol' Mr. Gibbons.

The baddie don't cotton to bein' mocked... and so, he unloads his Shrink Ray in Gibbons' direction.  Gibbons, who just happened to be standing on a ladder, finds himself off-balance when the very ladder itself is shrunk down to fun-size.

Our fearsome foursome are not happy to see their MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers Pusherman knocked on his butt... and decide this is a job for, well... them.  Our villain responds by blasting them with the Shrink Ray, reducing them to just inches in size (and as luck would have it, 1/32 in scale!).  Ya see where this story might be headed?

Dr. Micro... that's the bad guy's name... then shrinks an entire counterful of jewelry and flees the scene.

As this is going down... get this, the boys spend... I'm going to assume, less than a half-hour... putting together some MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers... which, now that they've been shrunken, are "life-size".  Thank all that you find holy that they don't even need glue!  They each soup-up their rigs in different ways in order to handle all sorts of obstacles and terrain.  I'm not sure these cars actually have, ya know, engines... accelerators... hell, even steering wheels, and all that... but, we'll allow it.  Worth noting, one has a spoiler which reads "Being Nuts is NEAT!", which... I'm not a tattoo guy, but if I were... that'd be the one I'd go with.

As luck would have it, by the time the boys are done building... Dr. Micro still hasn't left the mall yet!  He's being hassled by a Security Guard who the jewelry store guy tattled to!  Whatta revoltin' development!

Dr. Micro tires of such tomfoolery... and decides, screw it... I'ma just gonna run.  He rushes through the parking lot, with the Lightning Racers hot on his trail, and hops on his motorcycle.

On his bike, he drives right into... a parade?  Well, that's a lucky break for our Lightning Racers, who take a short-cut through a nearby construction zone in order to get a jump on the Doc.  Looks like it was wise of the boys to prepare for all sorts of obstacles... that foresight is definitely coming in handy right now!

The kids manage to follow Dr. Micro all the way back to his hideout... which, is really just a garage.  I wonder what his neighbors must think?  Anyhoo, only three of our racers are able to get inside before the door slams shut... leaving one straggler (the new kid) stuck outside.

Our Junior Vanquisher, however, spies among the refuse, a piece of lumber tilted diagonally pointed right toward an... open window, and gets an idea.  Waitasecond, this supervillain leaves his windows open?  C'mon.  I can believe kids can be shrunk down... and operate cars that don't have gas pedals or steering wheels, but this is a step too far.

Inside, Doc Micro plops his mini-jewels down (minds out of the gutter, gang) and uses his enlarging ray to restore them to actual size!  Waitasecond again... this clown has an enlarging ray... and rather than causing the jewels to grow to gigantic size... he just brings them back to their actual size?  Would stand to reason that ten-pounds of gold would be of more value than ten-ounces, right?  C'mon, Dr. Micro... think man!

While Micro twirls around cackling like an idiot, our original trio bails from their Lightning Racers to... I dunno... do, something I guess.  When it doesn't involve MRC-Tamiya Racers, these kids don't seem to be the best of planners.  Micro notices them... and plops a very convenient glass dome over them.  Ya see, he plans to zap them with the Shrink Ray again... to make 'em even smaller!  I mean, why not just have different settings on the gun itself?

Just then... the Junior Vanquisher flies in through the window, konks Doc Micro on the head... causing him to bonk into the enlarger ray button... which just so happens to be hanging from the ceiling?  Fair enough.

This causes our tiny trio to grow back to full-size.  They manage to tackle the goofball baddie... proving that three dumb kids can overpower a supervillain... so long as they're the right dumb kids.

With Micro bound and gagged, the boys return Junior Vanquisher back to normal... and, just then... a gaggle of Police burst in the garage!  So... was this whole thing pointless?  Like, were the Cops going to catch Dr. Micro anyway?  Did the kids risk their lives for no reason at all?!

The Police Lieutenant (took me four tries to spell that right) and the Media arrive.  The boys try and tell their shrunken story... which the Lt. doesn't buy for a minute.  I mean, there were witnesses to that, right?  Like a mall-full of 'em?  What's this guy's problem?  Anyhoo, he takes all the adulation and praise... and makes it sound like he was the hero of the story.

Back at Gibbons' Place, the boys are congratulated for being in the wrong place at the wrong time... and are even allowed to keep the cars they'd built during their adventure!  Heck, Gibbons is so overjoyed he's going to give them the next round of MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers that come in the shop as well!  That Mr. Gibbons... one shrewd businessman.

We wrap up with our boys racing on the regulation track... Ready!  Set!  Go!

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Okay, this might be the goofiest thing I've covered here in quite some time... but, I can't lie and say I didn't enjoy the heck out of it!  Sure, it's just a commercial for some toy cars... but, ya know... I've definitely read worse comic book stories.  Hell, I've read worse comic book stories this week!

It's difficult for me to actually, ya know, analyze this one... because, it is what it is.  It's not high-art, it's not trying to be anything other than what it is... an enticement to rush down to your local Hobby Shop and procure mass quantities of MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers and MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers accessories.

Now, growing up, I was never a "car guy".  Sure, I had my fair share of Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars... I think all little boys do/did!  But, I'd rather have been playing with action figures.  I feel like I lack the imagination to make a "play session" involving little cars be fun.  I didn't even think Transformers were fun!  So, with that having been said... this little excursion into Ad-tertainment would not have worked on me.  If you are/were into toy cars and racing, however, your (no pun intended) mileage may vary.

These sort of cars were apparently quite a big deal in the world of boy's toys back in the late-80's.  Being a fella who was a boy back in the late-80's, I gotta say... that's news to me!  You can check out this piece from New York Magazine:

Even Boys Life Magazine... which, as a Cub Scout at the time, I'm sure I was subscribed to, listed Lightning Racers as one of their top Christmas gifts of 1989!  Then again, they list WrestleMania for the NES too... so, maybe we don't put too much stock into what they say.

For me though, this was just a silly story... and one with, almost shockingly good art!  I couldn't even hazard a guess as to who might've drawn this... I see flashes of different artists in some of the panels.  Dr. Micro gives me very strong Carmine Infantino vibes in some of the panels, but I couldn't make a definitive statement either way.  The rest of the story looks nothing like latter-day Infantino... at least not to me!

Now, if you were concerned about the reality of this story... first, c'mon... second, c'mahhhhhhhn... third, here's a disclaimer/warning that was included at the end:

So, after telling (and showing) us how these li'l buggers can handle all sorts of terrain and obstacles, we're told explicitly not to run our Lightning Racers on the streets.  What's more, if it happens to find its way into the street... just abandon the damn thing, it ain't worth risking yer neck to retrieve it!  Oh well.

In our latest Bonus Books features, we've spent a little time getting to know our creative teams.  Since this story doesn't credit one, we'll have to get a little bit creative.  Let's meet Tamiya!

Tamiya Incorporated was founded (as Tamiya Shoji & Co.) in 1946... and is still in operation today.  While they began as a lumber company (hey, maybe they were responsible for that piece of wood Vanquisher, Jr. used to bust in on Doc Micro!) in more recent years they manufacture models of all sorts... plastic, radio-control, sailboats, even solar-powered models!

This here comic book wasn't just an "Insert Prevue" or "Bonus Book", or whatever we're calling it... this one was actually both a standalone giveaway and a pack-in with the Rising Bird model set.  The box advertises an "18 Page" booklet... and since this story is only 14 (counting the cover and text pages), I gotta wonder what "challenges" appeared on the other four!  Man, don't tell me I actually gotta track one'a these buggers down...

If we flip the box over... well, it looks like all of the Lightning Racers were "Juniors"!  Whodathunkit?

Overall... had wayyy more fun with this one than should've been possible... and I recommend giving this one a full read, should you come across it during a (re)read of a circa-1990 DC Comic.  I'd still love to know who was involved in the creation of it... if anyone happens to know, please pass that information my way!

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(Not the) Letters Page/Interesting Ads (???):