Superman #404 (February, 1985)
"Born to be Superman!"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Pencils - Carmine Infantino
Inks - Bob Oksner
Letters - Milton Snapinn
Colors - Gene D'Angelo
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.75
You ever just stare at a word... and it baffles you, because you could swear you spelled it wrong? And it's a word you've used a bunch before, even! So, like... you keep staring... and maybe you'll copy and paste it into Google...and even then, you're still not sure if you're quite seeing it right?
Well, that explains the last eight minutes in my house as I squinted sideways at the word... Kupperberg.
--
We open with Superman fighting off a fleet of alien invaders. He pulverizes the hull of the craft and all sorts of nonsense starts to pour out... I've never seen Superman act so... I dunno, littery? Anyhoo, before he can properly board, the craft sounds its alarm. Only... that's not what's going on at all... what he's hearing is actually his alarm clock, it's time to get up!
He's in bed with his wife, Lana Lang. He tells her about the dream he'd just had, to which she reminds him that he's not Superboy anymore. He tells her that this time, it was a different dream... he wasn't Superboy, he was Superman. She kinda shrugs it off. We learn here that Clark lost his superpowers when he was 16, and spent the next decade in a coma.
As Clark gets ready for work, we learn a few more things. First, he and Lana have a son (who may or may not be a young Terry Long)! Also, Ma and Pa Kent never died of that tropical virus. Pa picks Clark up to take him to the Airport for a business trip.
On the car ride, we learn (we're doing a lot of learning this morning) that Jonathan Kent is a member of the State Legislature... and that Clark's trip to the West Coast is to open a Kent Supermarket (a chain that grew out of the Kent General Store in Smallville). Oh, also... Superboy lost his powers and fell into that coma after a battle with (who else?) Lex Luthor.
One plane ride later, Clark is picked up by Pete Ross... and a limo! He's driven to the Kent Supermarket, which kinda looks like a place that the Legion of Super-Heroes might shop at. It's definitely an eyesore.
After cutting the ribbon and dedicating the store, Clark and Pete load back into the limo and chat about his weird "super" dream. Remember, it was established that Pete found out about Clark's dual identity during the New Adventures of Superman series (perhaps elsewhere before that too!), so he knows all about what CK might be feeling. As it happens, this limousine is equipped with a television. A WGBS Superboy "13 Years Later" documentary comes on (narrated by Jimmy Olsen).
Clark asks Pete to shut it off... he's not keen on reliving the loss of his powers. Someone who is happy to see this, however, is... Lex Luthor. We learn that, in the wake of that fateful day, Lex was sent to jail for twenty years (being paroled after thirteen). He relives their final battle, and laments that Superboy never returned as a Superman, so he'd get the opportunity to kill him again.
Back in Smallville, Clark and the fam are out for a walk. Lana and the boy decide they want some ice cream... so, off to the ice cream parlor they go. Along the way, however, Clark notices a Superboy book (written by Lois Lane) in a shop window which causes him pause.
Lana flashes back to the day Superboy lost his powers... and how, after the big explosion, Superboy crashed back down on the football field. Pete Ross was quick to nab his pal, and was left with very little choice but to spill the beans about the dual-identity to Lana.
Lana and the boy continue along to the ice cream join, while Clark chats up Police Chief-turned-bookstore owner, Mr. Parker. They both lament the loss of Superboy, after all, Smallville owes him a whole heckuva lot.
We jump ahead three weeks, and Lex Luthor has created a... ridiculous looking pair of robotic walking legs, with which he's going to... look ridiculous while he robs a bank? Sure. His rig is fortified enough to withstand the fire of several police officers, and he is able to bust through walls with ease. Then, he runs into... Superboy?!
Only... this is no Superboy! This is Superman. The Luthor legs are tipped over, and they go boom. From here, we get some hand-to-hand fisticuffs... and a few choice observations from Lex. Like, Superman didn't absorb his punch the same way he used to... and also, he's not flying!
As they continue to beat on one another, we learn that Superman is really only keeping it together at this point because his suit is invulnerable. Well, that, and the fact that he... get this... built a homemade "power pack" to mimic some of his old power-set. And he did this with... wait for it... various colors of Kryptonite?!
They fight some more... and eventually Superman wins. After the dust settles though, he realizes that he did so... without the aid of his "homemade power pack"... and without superpowers at all! Yay?
--
Okay, so... when we get a story like this, it can only ever end up going one of two ways. First: it's all a dream/hallucination... Second: Imaginary story. Neither of them are all that satisfying... though, at least with a dream, we might get some moralistic closing comments. We... don't get that here.
What we get... feels like a cop out. Made even worse by the comparably strong first half. I really dug the amount of effort that was put into building this alternate world where Clark lost his powers and never became Superman. How would the world take shape around him? Where would he wind up? There's some really fun (and strong!) storytelling here.
It felt kind of like an episode of Twilight Zone... which should've been a big red-flag. How often do ya see an episode of Twilight Zone with an enthralling first half... that has you at the edge of your seat... and ends with a "dud". I'd wager the answer to that is "Most of the time."
I mean, really... once we hit the midway point, the best case scenario was that this was a hallucination... or, Superman was going to be plugged into some weird machine. Now, if that's the best case... it's safe to say, we'd better brace for disappointment.
Let's talk about that ending. First, Superman makes a "power pack" out of... Kryptonite? I mean, I know he lost his powers... but, he's still a Kryptonian, right? He didn't just all of a sudden "become human", did he? This stuff should still be highly dangerous (life-threatening!) to him. To see him tinkering with the stuff is... weird, right?
The ending could be taken one of two ways. If you just look at the pictures, it looks as though Superman really didn't need the power-pack he built into his belt in order to "be super". If you read it, though... it's plainly said that a de-powered Superman actually defeated Lex Luthor. Dunno about you, but... I kinda like the first option better.
This issue features Carmine Infantino... who, by the mid-1980's, isn't one of my favorites. I feel like his art is part of the reason why I have so much difficulty getting through the Trial of the Flash... and, yeah... I did say "part" of the reason. I'll give him this, though... he still draws a mean Clark Kent. Everyone else though... ehhhh.
Overall... this was an issue I'd actually hunted down because the concept interested me. A retired-from-heroing Clark Kent settling down in Smallville and starting a family, while the world moves on without him? Sign me up! Ultimately though, it was a bit of a let-down. Super-strong first half... pretty lame conclusion.
--
Letters Page (wouldn't be a Superman lettercol without The Mad Maple or Kent Phenis!):
--
Interesting Ads:
1021
New Titans #85 (April, 1992)
"Dirge"
Writer - Marv Wolfman
Pencils - Tom Grummett
Inks - Al Vey
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Editor - Jonathan Peterson
Cover Price: $1.75
Ya know... I was planning on just leaving Titans Hunt behind. However, the more I thought about it... the more annoyed I became that the final part didn't give us a single bit of closure.
I mean, let's be honest... that ending was less "cliffhanger" and more "entrapment". After investing so much time and money into an arc... having it end so flatly and without resolution... what Titans fan wasn't going to come back for #85?
Let's look at this... New Titans #71 (Part One) shipped September 18, 1990. New Titans #84 (Part the Final) shipped January 21, 1992. That's a whole lot of time and energy to expect a fan to dedicate to a story without giving them an ounce of closure.
Whatta greedy arc.
--
We open at the Titans Graveyard, where services are being held for Jericho (and maybe Golden Eagle too, there are two coffins). We join our solemn Titans as they discuss the finer points of whether or not Joe's spirit still existed inside his Azarathian-possessed body at the end. I think that was made crystal clear a couple of issues back, but what do I know? In the distance, Slade Wilson... the man who was forced to kill Joey (to save him from further corruption and/or corrupting) watches the proceedings... alone. He approaches the casket after everyone leaves. I always thought the casket went into the ground after everyone left... again, what do I know?
The next stop for the Titans is S.T.A.R. Labs to check on Vic. Garfield is especially anxious to see his pal. He is, of course, pretty shaken when he finds him. Vic is being worked on by S.T.A.R. staff, led by his sorta-kinda squeeze Dr. Sarah Charles. Logan looks into Vic's dead eyes, and kinda loses it for a bit!
He flips out, yelling at his fellow Titans for not believing him when he accused Jericho (the son of the Terminator, of course) of being a traitor. Donna responds by reminding him of just how many times the Titans have been turned on by one of their own... either via wicked deception, or mind-control. It's sobering... and one of those things that sounds absolutely ridiculous when you stop and think about it! Gar apologizes for lashing out, though... if you ask me, the real crime is his mullet. We also get a run-down on the Titans Hunt casualties:
- Joey-Dead
- Golden Eagle-Dead
- Aqualad-Coma
- Raven-Missing/Presumed Dead
- Danny Chase-Missing/Presumed Dead
- Arella-Missing/Presumed Dead
- ...and of course, Vic.
Dr. Charles informs the Titans that there has been advances in Aqualad's treatment. She guides them (sans Gar) into another area of the Labs, to show them what she means. Looks like Garth is on-ice... sorta. It's a super-cold liquid cryogenic thingie... to hold him over for now. Just then, Aquaman shows up... annnnnnd, really doesn't seem all that bothered seeing his sidekick in such a state. He also figures that Atlantis ain't gonna help him, at least at the moment. Thanks for comin', Artie.
Back at Dick's apartment, he and Kory are watching soap operas... Kory can't stand them because the people in them are "far too unreal"... nyuk nyuk, ya get it? Anyhoo, the program cuts away to a special news report, featuring our least-favorite "thorn in the side" Elizabeth Alderman. She's ticked at the Titans and all that jazz.
Just then... a weird... object appears at the ruins of the Wildebeest Warehouse (where Alderman is being interviewed). It looks... I dunno, kind of like an electrified clump of dryer lint? It begins spinning out of control... and actually draws the Titans to it!
From it springs forth... Phantasm! And he's holding that weird canister he picked up last issue. He tries to make it clear from the get-go, that he is no longer "the boy"... which is to say, he ain't Danny Chase no mo. This, naturally, doesn't stop everyone from referring to him as such.
Elsewhere, the Team Titans (who, for the moment are being called the "Teen Titans") are also watching this all go down via the news. Upon seeing Troia, they figure this might be a great opportunity to take 'er out.
Back on the street, Phantasm starts spillin' the beans. Danny's gone, Arella's gone... and in the best news ever, Azarath is gone! Whoo-hoo! Haven't felt this relieved since reading "The Last Morlock Story" in Uncanny X-Men #291(ish)! I'd hope Azarath would stay gone at least as long as the Morlocks did... but, we all know better than that.
While the Teamsters look on (Mirage drooling over Di.. err, Nightwing), the Titans are approached by Elizabeth Alderman. She's blibbuh blabberin' about her lawsuit, and her injunctions against them using their powers within the city limits. Yadda yadda yadda. Phantasm tires of her bellyaching, and ports the team away so they might continue their chat. This of course, only makes them look guilty as hell, right?
Upon arriving... elsewhere, Dick tells the team about how everything came together. The Wildebeest who attacked him... died, and so, Dick took his costume. Later, Danny was attacked... and Dick-the-Beest tossed him a Nightwing Tracer as a "calling card". This was, apparently "hidden in plain sight" during that issue... which, uh, congrats? You got me... by dropping a hint in a scene I couldn't care less about... you slid one past the goalie, Marv!
After a little more chatter, Phantasm gets weary of dealing with the team... and so, he leaves. However... he doesn't take that canister with him... and, just then... it opens! Deep breaths, everybody... it's time to meet: Baby Wildebeest!
--
Well, we actually do get a bit more closure here. It's funny, today Titans Hunt would have been an event miniseries unto itself... and this would probably be issue #12.1 or some such nonsense.
It was nice to have the opportunity to see the Titans walk that tightrope of licking their wounds and reflecting while at the same time, attempting to move forward. It's probably an understatement to suggest that this is a very different team compared to the one that was about to celebrate their anniversary a year and a half back (in real time).
Some have changed physically... others emotionally. Some ain't there anymore... and we have a few newbies to boot. Even if I didn't enjoy Titans Hunt in full... there was still a good story worth being told hidden betwixt all of the exposition, tie-ins, and flashbacks. There was definitely a plan here to upend and update the franchise... and, at the end of the day... that's exactly what they did.
I feel like this sort of thing is missing from comics these days. I'm not talking about over-stretched arcs, because we've got those in spades. I'm talking about actually sitting down and writing a story to facilitate and explain changes. Nowaways, we'd just get a new #1... with an all-new team, and hopes that maybe, somewhere down the line, we'd get an explanation of how we got here.
Let's take a look at the lettercol... it's funny, I was just chatting with my pal Tom Panarese (name drop!) about the delays Titans Hunt experienced... and he mentioned that it was so out of wack that the climax was spoiled in another book. Sure enough, one of the letters mentions just that very thing! Here, take a look (As always, full Lettercol below, including the cop-out response from the Editor):
Overall... I gotta say, if you read through Titans Hunt... you're going to want to read this too. It might not rock your socks, but it does help to put a "cap" on the event.
--
Letters Page:
--
Interesting Ads:
1020
Martian Manhunter (vol.2) #24 (November, 2000)
"Revelations | Double Stuff"
Writer - John Ostrander
Guest Pencils - Doug Mahnke
Guest Inks - Pat Gleason
Letters - Bill Oakley
Colors - Carla Feeny
Color Separations - Jamison
Associate Editor - L.A. Williams
Editor - Peter Tomasi
Cover Price: $2.50
After spending the last several months (it's been months, right?) wading through Titans Hunt, it's pretty refreshing to read something just a little bit different.
Before we get into the issue itself, the Revelations arc that ran through Martian Manhunter was a handful of stories which showed J'onn throughout different eras of DC History, and depicted him rubbing shoulders with folks like Superman, Batman, Abin Sur... it provided (perhaps newer) turn-of-the-century readers with context to illustrate where J'onn's been and why he is so important.
I think we'll eventually cover it in full, but... there's just something about this particular issue that makes me want to put it at the front of the line!
--
We open back in the days on the Justice League International. We're at the New York Embassy, and J'onn is sharing the story of the time he'd lost his... cookies! Being something of a Cookie Monster myself, I can see how troublesome this could be. Turns out he didn't so much lose them, as they were hidden from him by Booster and Beetle.
 |
| Hashtag-Villains |
After bragging to Guy, Fire and Ice about the theft (as well as buying up every Choco in a few mile radius)... they bolt outta the place. Just then, a fired up J'onn returns to the living room... and he ain't pleased.
The other Leaguers play coy... they sure don't want to be the ones to break the news and suffer J'onn's wrath. J'onn goes from positively psychotic... to "hey, it's all good" when he realizes he can just trudge up the block to the store and buy some more. Well... about that.
We rejoin Booster and Beetle as they tap into a camera at the local convenience store. J'onn is there trying to procure some Chocos... and is... ehh, a bit miffed that they're sold out.
Then... we get one of the best panels put to paper. J'onn "hulks up"... we definitely wouldn't like him when he's angry hungry.
J'onn rampages through the streets of New York... flipping over cars and everything! It's really quite the scene. Booster and Beetle finally realize their little gag might've gone a bit too far, and intervene. Beetle lets it slip that they were behind the cookie-heist... whiiiiich, might not have been the best idea.
J'onn doesn't react all that well. I mentioned he "hulked up" earlier, well... now we go full-blown Hulk!
Booster and Beetle do their damnedest to take to the air and flee. Elsewhere, Maxwell Lord is meeting with his contact at the United Nations. Looks like the U.N. has lost a measure of confidence in the Lord-led Justice League International... and is considering severing ties. Max doesn't like the sound of this, and so... his nose starts to bleed.
Just then, Booster and Beetle fly by... followed quickly by Hulk-J'onn. The windows of the U.N. shatter... annnnnd Max's nose bleeds again. Such a funny scene!
We rejoin the pursuit with J'onn crashing through the roof of a warehouse. Lucky for all of us, it's a Chocos warehouse! He digs into the loot, and regains his composure. He is soon cornered by Max and a bunch of "official-looking" fellas. It's really great, J'onn's just sitting there eating, like it's no big thing.
Back at the Embassy, Max holds a little intervention with J'onn. He suggests that the Martian Manhunter's cravings for delicious sandwich cookies might be signs of... addiction. Batman joins in via video-monitor, and actually goes as far as to refer to J'onn as a *gasp* "Chocos Junkie"!
J'onn ain't buyin' it... after all, he could kick the Chocos habit anytime he pleases. Max decides to put this to the test... whiiiiich goes exactly how you might imagine it would.
At this point, J'onn realizes that... yeah, he might just have a little problem when it comes to impulse control when in the presence of Chocos. And so, he focuses inward... to purge himself of this addiction. An addiction that takes the form of... a Venom-like symbiote?!?!
After J'onn evicts the beastie, it immediately looks to rejoin it's old host. Unfortunately, Tora hops in its way... and takes it into herself. It's revealed that her craving is for... delicious baby seal? Well, that's disturbing.
Guy Gardner blasts the beast... which only makes it hop into him! We learn that Guy craves... his mommy... specifically, his mommy's womb. We should'a known.
Then, the symbiote hops into Fire... and it's confirmed that she craves attention. Yeah, nobody could've seen that coming. Off to the side, Booster and Beetle are taking notes... this is definitely information they can profit off of later on down the line!
The symbiote makes one final stop... into the body of Maxwell Lord. He wants everyone to do what he says... particularly Wonder Woman. We... won't go any deeper into that.
J'onn's finally had enough of this... and so, he collects the symbiote in a glass canister and delivers it to Reed Richa... errr... um... no, he actually just uses his heat vision on it. Once it's gone, so too is his addiction. He walks over to Booster and Beetle to... thank them, for helping him save him from himself. Meanwhile, Tora is still crying over eating baby seals.
We wrap up with the realization that this entire issue has been a story told to Kyle Rayner. Once Kyle leaves, Wonder Woman reveals that she'd overheard it, and... really doesn't remember anything like that happening. Welllll... that's because it didn't.
--
Well, dang... it's not that often we get to read something that flat-out fun! I haven't talked much about J'onn here over the years... but, the Martian Manhunter as part of the JLI has always been a favorite of mine. He's usually depicted as the only sane person in the room... though, there's also a feeling that if he's cool hanging around all of these nuts... he might just be the craziest of them all.
I usually refer to him as "Dick Loudon" from Newhart. He looks like the he's cool and collected... but you get the feeling he could fray at any moment... like say, if someone stole his cookies. Hey, I get it... cookies are important. I know I've had days where I looked forward to getting home and having a sweet snack... only to find that the wife had nabbed it by the time I get there! It's that weird, irrational anger... where I'm not sure if I'm more ticked that the snack is missing... or that I'll have to put my shoes back on and head out to the store.
It was cute that so many "Marvel-ous" elements were included in this silly story. Having J'onn "Hulk out" was a lot of fun to watch... and was especially antithetical to his usual demeanor. With the underlying issue being his missing cookies... it's almost too much fun. I mean, at this point, it was obvious that we were reading an "imaginary story", but I was enjoying myself too much to even care.
Another Marvel-ous touch... a craving symbiote?! Too funny... and helpfully facilitated revealing some of the other Leaguers' deepest-darkest cravings. Some were obvious... okay, all but Tora's were obvious... all told though, it was a pretty cute scene.
I'm a fan of Doug Mahnke... but, I gotta say, there were a few unpleasant-looking panels here. I know sunken and deeply-shadowed eyes are one of his hallmarks, but sometimes it's just off-putting. Overall though, I feel like he did a great job conveying this weird mix of action, emotion, and humor.
This issue comes with one of my higher recommendations... it's really just pure fun. You don't need to be following the Martian Manhunter (or even JLA) series to "get" this issue. You could just read this one, and have a blast with it. As luck would have it, this bugger is available digitally!
--
Letters Page (Featuring Michael Bailey and Paul Hicks!):
--
Interesting Ads:
1019
