Action Comics #593 (1987)

Action Comics #593 (October, 1987)
"The Suicide Snare"
Story, Pencils & Figure Inks - John Byrne
Background Inks - Keith Williams
Lettering - John Costanza
Coloring - Tom Ziuko
Editing - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $0.75

After getting all hot 'n bothered last issue, we now get to bear witness to what Sleez's designs are for the Man of Steel and Mrs. Miracle.  Could his plans possibly live up to his namesake?  Well, I suppose that all depends on how you view the field of erotic cinema...

Let's all watch on in amazement as Clark and Barda Make a... you know...

--

As we open, Mister Miracle Scott Free is practicing his lock-picking technique.  From the looks of it, he booby traps he and Barda's front door to keep would-be interlopers from invading.  He gets the door unlocked with two seconds to spare.  Flinging the door open, expecting to find his beloved bride Barda... Scott is shocked to find a lounging Darkseid... who apparently raided the Free's liquor cabinet to boot!

Darkseid assures Scott (and Oberon) that he means them no harm, and only wishes to share with them a video tape he'd recently come into possession of.  Scott loads it into his VCR, and he and Oberon are shocked to find that it's... one of those kinda movies.  Like, ya know... with naked peop... okay okay, it's porn.  Not just porn, mind... Big Barda porn.

Darkseid, being quite the helpful fella, points Scott to the skin-flicks shop of origin.  It's a cruddy hole in the wall on Hob's Lane in the Suicide Slum section of Metropolis.

Meanwhile... Sleez (who's going by the name Smith at this juncture) is introducing adult film director, Grossman (har har) to his newest star... Superman.  Grossman, who has no problem conducting business with a three-foot tall green blob of a man ain't buying it.  To that, Sleez instructs his super-puppet to make toothpicks out of Grossman's desk.

Grossy is suitably impressed and convinced, but has a few concerns... Sleez assures him that he's got the Man of Steel wrapped around his little finger... he also makes plain his plans for the next film to star Superman and Big Barda.

Mister Miracle is hot on the trail.  As he approaches Suicide Slum he recounts his own secret origin.  From his time at Granny Goodness' orphanage, to learning his escape artistry from Himon, to meeting Barda and escaping Apokolips... all the way to meeting the doomed original Mr. Miracle Thaddeus Brown.

As he touches down, he is jumped by a gaggle of skuzzy street toughs.  The load him into a sack... throw that sack into a dumpster... weld the dumpster shut... and drop him into the bay.  They really must not have any idea who they're dealing with...

Our next scene (somehow) opens with Mr. Miracle peering into a skylight while Grossman and Sleez begin shooting their Super porno.  Grossman ain't all that happy, claiming over Superman's wooden (if you'll pardon the tacky pun) acting.  Sleez realizes that Superman is resisting his suggestive powers, and begins considering his empathic options.

He manages to convince Superman and Barda to embrace.  Before things can become too steamy, Scott decides he's seen enough... and throws himself through the skylight.

Sleez is quite surprised to see Mister Miracle, as he'd believed his hobo army took care of him with their dumpster welding prowess.  Scott's all "pshh" and reminds him who he's dealing with.  Sleez then sics the tongue tentacle (tongtacle?) critter from last issue at Scott before fleeing the scene.

Miracle identifies the beastie as an Ash-Crawler, and his struggle causes Barda to break from Sleez's control.  She makes short work of the crawler as Superman gives chase to their former captor and "talent" scout.

Sleez finds himself backed into a corner, with Superman in hot pursuit.  Rather than risk capture, he instead lights a match causing the sewage gases to ignite.

Superman reports back to the Free-folk, telling them Sleez is likely no more.  He shares a moment with Barda where they both admit to being unsure whether or not they'd ever... knocked boots, while under Sleez's empathic control.  They decide not to think too hard about it, and try and put it behind them.  Scott looks suitably (and I suppose understandably) annoyed.

We wrap up with Clark Kent paying another visit to the old folks at the hospital.  He's surprised to see that they are still alive despite Sleez's apparent death.  He believed that Sleez's powers were somehow providing these oldsters with extra life force... but now, he's not so sure...

--

So much fun.

We've gone from "every issue is somebody's first" to "every issue is an event" in the time since this issue released.  I miss these kind of one (or two) off stories that are just plain fun.  They do not feel like filler, yet at the same time they're not tied into some overarching event.

This issue (and the one proceeding it) are just treat.  They are not too serious, yet Byrne plays with serious themes.  The image of Superman and Big Barda sitting on a bed with a camera aimed at them is so incredibly surreal.  It's silly, but I know I'll never forget it.  I really appreciate how tactful Byrne was in his handling of this subject.  Like, it's clear what's going on... but the way in which it's portrayed is not gratuitous and does not feel like it's in poor taste.  I would imagine it would be difficult to walk that line.

He doesn't always drink Scott Free's liquor... but when he does, he's watching his wife's skin flick...

Keeping on the surreal/silly trail... c'mon, Darkseid lounging in a La-Z-Boy, sipping some of Scott's liquor is just too amazing.  The idea that Darkseid's "agents" have somehow come into possession of Big Barda's video is wonderfully insane as well.  Ya really gotta feel for poor Scott during this issue... Having your arch-enemy, and brutal dictator deliver a his wife's porno tape... that's gotta be a blow to the ego.  What's more, the very thought that Superman maybe shtupped his wife is one that he'll not soon forget... Seriously, imagine having to live up to that!

Just as the previous chapter, this one comes with a big recommendation.  Check 'em out if you get the opportunity... you won't be sorry.

--

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Action Comics #592 (1987)

Action Comics #592 (September, 1987)
"... A Walk on the Darkside!"
Story, Pencils & Figure Inks - John Byrne
Background Inks - Keith Williams
Lettering - John Costanza
Coloring - Tom Ziuko
Editing - Mike Carlin & Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75


During several of my recent USENET Fandom pieces over at DCinthe80s.com, I have been discussing John Byrne's arrival on the Superman titles following the Crisis on Infinite Earths.  One of the pieces of the Byrne Superman that seems to get overlooked is his run on Action Comics.  I suppose when compared with Man of Steel and the second volume of Superman, Action was "small potatoes".  This stretch of Action Comics is a Superman Team-Up book, and featured a ton of fun stories and characters.

One of the more (in)famous is the team-up between Superman and Big Barda/Mister Miracle, wherein Supes and Mrs. Free wind up in a rather precarious position... people familiar with this era no doubt know what I'm referring to.  Those new to the post-Crisis Superman are in for a weird little treat... tomorrow.

Today, we're going to take a look at the story that leads into the more noteworthy issue.  I guess this issue can be looked at as "foreplay".

--

We open with a disoriented Big Barda stumbling through a particularly dingy Suicide Slum neighborhood.  She happens upon a pimp who looks as though he's about to take a piece out of one of his talents.  Seeing Barda causes ol' Huggy Bear to release his lady, and make an overture toward this statuesque brunette.

Barda bein' Barda, ain't havin' none of it.  She tosses our haggard li'l pimp into a nearby rubbish pile.  With her attention squarely on this creep... another just happens to nab her messenger bag, which just so happens to contain her Mega-Rod.

The thief bolts down an alley, with Barda hot on his tail.  He hops a fence, which she just tears out of the ground.  He climbs down a manhole and continues to run until a slimy tentacle (tongue?) enters the panel and nyoinks him out of it.

nyoink!

We now meet this issue's big(?) bad, Sleez.  He looks through the bag, and is surprised to find the seemingly familiar Mega-Rod.

In the sewer, Barda is still searching for her Rod... only to nearly get nailed by a blast from it.  She shifts into her armored form for protection, and continues her pursuit.  She happens upon the corpse of her purse-snatcher, and with her focus split winds up succumbing to a surprise Mega-Rod blast.

A few days later, we join Daily Planet Reporter, Clark Kent as he takes a tour of a Suicide Slum Hospital.  He is being guided by a Dr. Kincaid who has hopes that the Daily Planet can be of help to their facility.

Clark meets an older woman who goes by the name of Molly.  After briefly speaking with her, he comes to the conclusion that she is quite "far gone".  Kincaid informs him that this Molly is in fact 121 years-old.  As a matter of fact, several of the hospital's guests are of an extremely advanced age.

Clark uses his super-sensitive vision to peek into Ms. Molly... he finds some rather strong traces of radiation inside her.

After taking his leave, he Supers up and tries to trace the radiation to its source.  He detects an especially strong trace in a certain position in Suicide Slum... which just so happens to be where Sleez is being entertained by Dancing Barda.

Sleez recounts his secret origin aloud to Barda.  He, at one point, was Darkseid's right-hand on Apokolips.  Eventually he fell out of favor with the big man, and was actually the first victim of Darkseid's famed Omega Beam.  The beam did not kill him, however... it only sent him to Earth... more specifically, the Suicide Slum section of Metropolis.

With his story told, he approaches a seemingly powerless Barda.  He grips her by her face as she frantically protests.  She says "No... Please... Not Again..."  I'm not sure exactly what this is meant to relay, and would prefer not to think too deeply on the subject.

Luckily, Barda is spared as Superman enters the scene.  The pair do a bit of a meet and greet, and Supes learns that the captive is the wife of Mister Miracle, Mrs. Barda Free.  Getting her second wind, Barda armors up and reclaims her Mega-Rod.

Just as she's about to wipe ol' Sleez off the map, Superman steps in to stop her.  Barda takes this rather poorly, and gives Supes a judo-throw before blasting him with the Mega-Rod.

In the confusion Sleez's tentacle-tongue thingie swipes the Rod once more.  With the pull of a switch, the floor below Superman and Big Barda falls out and the pair plummets into the pit below...

--

It's difficult for me to give this an unbiased review, as it comes from an era that I hold quite dear.  Of course I'm gonna dig this... and I think most Super-fans would too.  Action Comics during this era kind of expanded Superman's world... it afforded readers the opportunity to see how Big Blue interacts with those outside of his normal cast.

Sleez is a weird villain for someone like Superman, however, I really like how irredeemable he is.  He really is his namesake... and that will be built upon in our next chapter.  In an age where villains were being fleshed out almost to the point where they become sympathetic, it's almost refreshing to see such an utter scumbag in Sleez.  There's no "if you squint real hard, he's kinda got a point" about him.  He's scummy and gross, and I want to see Superman (or Barda) knock him the hell out.

This one's a little silly and a lot of fun. It must be said that it looks fantastic.  It's pure John Byrne greatness, and you'd do yourself a service to check it out.  This issue has been collected in the Man of Steel trade paperback series (volume 5), along with the next part in this team-up.  Definitely recommended.

--

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Trials of Shazam! #1 (2006)

Trials of Shazam! #1 (October, 2006)
"The boy & the MAN"
Writer - Judd Winick
Artist - Howard Porter
Letterer - Rob Leigh
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer Jr.
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $2.99

It's interesting... the deeper I delve into Captain Marvel/SHAZAM! lore, the more convinced I am that nobody really seems to know what to do with him.  Please keep in mind that I say this without reading Jerry Ordway's Power of Shazam! series that actually does appear to have a consistent narrative... but other than that, everything is a new/amended.updated origin or some sort of reimagining.  Really not sure where I'm headed with this spiel, just what kept popping into my head while I read through this issue.

This maxi-series (were we still calling them that in 2006?) looks to handle some of the post-Brave New World and Day of Vengeance spin-off/fallout.  It's been awhile since I read either of those, but if I'm not mistaken, the jist is that the Wizard Shazam has died, and the Marvel family (outside of Cap) is now powerless.  This series is called "Trials of..." so I would imagine Billy's gonna have to make a Herculean effort to get through this one.

--

We open in Norway.  There is a truck loaded with young people being transported by a pair of goons.  They express that those they hold captive are there for their "cleanliness"... they have "untainted" blood and are "unsullied" virgins.  Sure sounds like a Captain Marvel story so far!

One of their captives is the young Billy Batson.  He appears to be the oldest of the flock, and one of the goons removes his gag to ask him his age.  Rather than tell him, he mutters that magic word... Shazam (with a period, no exclamation)...

The familiar bolt of lightning falls from the heavens above and transforms the young fella into Earth's Mightiest Mortal, Captain Marvel (with bonus white streak in his hair!).

The goons take great offense to this, and do some transforming of their own.  They each grip a glowing orb and morph into hulking Hell-beasts.  They pounce on Captain Marvel, one vomits a viscous green fluid all over him.  Cap don't dig that one bit, and as such he punches him all the way into a nearby temple.

Inside that temple, an odd tattooed man called Rimeen lurks.  He approaches Cap's latest victim, and is shocked to see that he's taken his "dark form".  Rimeen states that there will be a sacrifice this day, he raises his sword and transforms into a giant frog-beast, larger than the temple itself.

We flash back nearly a day in the past.  We're in New York City with Zatanna as she battles a beastie of her own.  Try as she might, and magick as she does, she cannot seem to get the better of this creature.  Lucky for her Captain Marvel is in the neighborhood... he smashes the critter, and informs Zatanna of it's aversion to water.

The two talk... a bit awkwardly... about recent events concerning magical beasts becoming more and more prevalent.  After telling her she wouldn't understand, Cap finally relents and offers that the Books of Magic have been rewritten... and that it's a brand new world for those in the magic community.

Captain Marvel flies off, heading straight for the Rock of Eternity.  It looks a bit different from the last time we visited.  He Shazams back into his Billy Batson form, and magicks himself up an easy chair and television set.  He appears to be somewhat surprised how easy it has become for him to wield magic, in and out of his Captain Marvel form.  While there, he learns of the plot that's about to go down in Norway, and decides his best course of action would be to get involved in his more youthful form.

Back in the present, Captain Marvel is in the midst of battle with the giant frog.  He flies up and comes crashing down at the Earth, fist-first.  This causes a frog-frying lightning storm to whip up and renders the beast back into its more humanoid form.

Satisfied with a job well done, and a new-found assuredness that he can be a protector to this "brave new world", he decides to Shazam down... only, this time instead of transforming back into Billy... he changes into something quite different indeed...

--

Hmm...

Okay, well I'm not totally sure how I feel about this one.  This seems like a much darker story that I would imagine when I think of Captain Marvel.  I mean, it starts out with him being captured for his untainted virgin blood.  I guess it's a sign of the times, or just a result of Winickian writing... but, that doesn't mean I have to like it.  I really prefer my Captain Marvel/Marvel Family stories to be more on the light side.  I don't need them to be fluffy, or Saturday morning cartoony... but, definitely not this dark.

The dialogue came across as noticeably stunted.  Not natural at all... which is strange, as one of Winick's strengths (at least in my opinion) is his dialogue.  The scene between Zatanna and Cap didn't read comfortably.  I'm not sure if there was supposed to be any tension (sexual or otherwise) between the two... but it just didn't work for me.  The virgin-seeking thugs spoke oddly as well, although perhaps they were trying to affect a sort of ESL speech pattern for them.

I thought the art was really nice.  I'm not used to seeing Howard Porter handle the complete art chores, and he really shines here.  I've read plenty of work featuring his pencils, and have enjoyed that... but here?  This is a whole other level for the man.  It gives a magical residue feeling, which is just about as perfect as you can get for this tale.

Recommended?  I dunno.  I'd say grab it for the Porter art... the story, however, I'm really not comfortable saying one way or another.  This is one of them new millennium books, where story and information are on a slow-drip... and written to be best read in collected format.  This series was collected into two volumes... and can be found at fairly deep discounts at both Amazon and Instocktrades.

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