King James, Starring LeBron James (2004)

King James, Starring LeBron James (2004)
"The King of Basketball"
Writer - Gary Phillips
Penciller - Damion Scott
Inker - Sandra Hope
Colorist - Carrie Straehan
Letterer - Kenny Lopez
Flava - James Marsh
Art Director - Maria Cabardo
Editor - Ron Perazza

Now what in the hell?

In 2004, DC Comics teamed up with LeBron James and the Coca-Cola company to produce a promotional comic book promoting the new Flava23 Sourberry Powerade.  Oi.  This is one I just found in the cheap-o bins, and seeing the DC bullet in the top left corner, knew I had to have it.

Powerade has become something of a joke in my home of late.  Recently my wife had fallen ill with a hard-to-shake sinus infection compounded with a terrible bout of bronchitis.  As it often goes, she was feeling especially ill during a time in which she would not be able to get in to see her normal doctor.  She was having some breathing challenges, spells of dizziness, as well as a fair amount of pain.  We found the nearest Urgent Care center, and popped in for a visit.

After waiting a good hour or so, we were finally seen.  The doctor (I think he was a doctor...) performed an examination and said he'd write up a few prescriptions.  He told my wife that on top of everything else, she was dehydrated.  He advised us to pick up Vitamin Water... but absolutely forbid us buying Gatorade or Powerade.

Because, you see... both Gatorade and Powerade... were made by... the Nazis.

We both gave a courtesy giggle, figuring the doc was just making a poor attempt at humor... however, he became positively stone-faced... and repeated his warning.

"The Nazis?", I asked.

Deadly-serious, he told us that the Nazis invented Gatorade and Powerade as a way of giving us cancer.  He began naming every artificial color under the sun, while writing two my wife's two prescriptions... simultaneously.  He wrote with both hands at the same time... didn't much matter, I suppose... couldn't read either of them well enough to know what they said anyway.

Now, not being any sort of cancer specialist, I offered that I did not know the 'ades contained any carcinogens.  He quickly corrected me, saying they weren't carcinogens... they caused cancer.

I looked at the wife, and suggested it was time we took our leave.  As we left, he kept repeating "Vitamin Water... Not Gatorade."
"Vitamin Water... Not Powerade."

We left to fill the prescriptions, and while there stocked up on some Acai Berry Vitamin Waters.  I may be an idiot, but I ain't no Ratzi.

With all that being said, I must assume that LeBron James is fighting the good fight against the Third Reich in the titanic tale to follow...

--

hey!

Before our story begins we are treated to a short text piece allegedly written by LeBron James in which he attempts to explain what "flava" is.  He continues to claim that the ink that printed this issue received an actual infusion of Powerade.  He is not kidding!  I can not corroborate this claim, however... this book just tastes like paper to me.

Our story opens in Hawaii with the not-yet King, LeBron James slam-dunking on a basketball-face-painted warrior called Julius.  Don't dare call him that though, he goes by Reaper.  One of LeBron's entourage cheers on, calling that slam-dunk "the flava"... so maybe that's what "flava" is?  The Reaper dismisses LeBron's attempt at sportsmanship, claiming he doesn't shake hands with nobody.

Don't leave me hangin' Julius...

Off to the side, shadowy organization, The Hetairia (which most online dictionaries define as simply "a society or association") reveal themselves as having set-up the street-ball tournament LeBron finds himself competing in.  This Hawaiian match was only the first round.  If our man is to truly become the King of Basketball, he has three more trials ahead of him.  Next stop, Siberia.

On the plane LeBron downs an orange Powerade with the quickness, as his buddies discuss the finer points of the cold weather they're about to encounter.  When they land, LeBron and his entourage don Captain Cold-esque winter coats, and approach the next challenge.  Somebody must have spiked the onboard Powerade supply, as one of the guys says the following: "How come we this whole thing didn't take place in tropic Hawaii?"  Say what, now?

LeBron meets his next opponent, Yuri Dragonin... but you can call him "Abominable".  Towering over LeBron, with his dreadlocks and maybe (in some panels?) wearing an eye patch, Yuri is one imposing dude.  He tries to psyche our man out by referencing Akron, Ohio... Why... he knows LeBron's hometown!!!

Get outta my head, Yuri!

LeBron thinks to himself how the cold "zaps" his energy... and the floor of this b-ball court is slick.  He regains his composure remembering a time he spoke to his mother.  She tells him that Hetairia have been involved in this deadly game ever since she was a child.  Basketball tournaments are not to be trifled with.

The game begins.  Yuri is quite the trash-talker, constantly in our man's face... busting his chops about how cold it is.  Tell us something we don't know, Dragonin.  Yuri is also a filthy cheater, elbowing LeBron in the gut.  It gets shrugged off, no blood equals no foul... right, James?  LeBron is able to wrangle control of the ball, much to his buddies' delight.  One says "That's what I'm talking about."... while another exclaims, "Fo' Sho'."

Somehow, Yuri makes an icicle fall from the ceiling right above a cheerleader... yeah, there are cheerleaders in Siberia, cheering on a one-on-one, underground super-secret basketball tourney.  LeBron leaps into action saving the pom-pom girl, while Yuri takes it to the hoop.  It's no matter, though, LeBron still comes out victorious.  Yuri promises they will meet again... I can hardly contain my excitement.

Next stop, Australia.  LeBron downs another Powerade on the plane, and then we look into his cold-dead eyes.  LeBron's (well, everyone's) eyes throughout this entire issue are terrifying gaping sunken black holes in his face.  Just empty sockets... very unsettling to behold, indeed.

Glad we agree, your highness!

In Australia, LeBron is pitted against contortionist Larry Samuels, now known as Flexxor.  On his court, up looks like down... and down is out of sight (dy-no-mite)!  The entourage tries to brainstorm how LeBron will find his way out of this one.  One member, while introspectively stroking his chin says as long as LeBron knows that a straight line is always a straight line... he should be okay.  Jeez, what is in this Powerade, anyway?  Is this the result of being under the influence of "flava"?

LeBron is struggling to maintain control of the ball while doing quantum physics in his head, however eventually comes out on top.  We actually observe super villain Flexxor score three times to LeBron's one.. so I must assume in Australian-rules basketball there is a 7-point shot.  Or am I just not following the art?  Either way, LeBron wins... yay.

It's now time for the finals.  LeBron and Company are now Brooklyn bound.  They somehow make it all the way from a tent in the middle of the outback to the Brooklyn sewers in 11 hours.  A quick check of kayak.com shows a flight from Sydney to JFK as 25 hours.  They must be mixing Powerade in with the jet-fuel.

In Brooklyn we meet LeBron's final opponent.  Henry Isaacs aka The Magistrate!  It is a competitive hard-hitting match-up.  The two masters are going shot for shot, neither with a distinct advantage.  It isn't until we zoom in on LeBron's soulless eyes at a moment where he is thinking about his mother that the tide turns.  LeBron breaks away and scores the winning point.  Only now is LeBron James truly worthy of the title of "King of Basketball".

Good Luck sleeping tonight.
This may replace the Starro and Egg-Fu in my nightmares...

LeBron and the Magistrate shake hands and tell the Hetairia to hit the bricks.  This isn't a game to them... the game's what it's all about.  Wait, what?

LeBron and Co. walk off the court as our newly-crowned King of the Courts takes a no-look shot on net.  They fear that this story is far from over, lucky for us... it is.  Our adventure ends with a satisfying "swishh".

--

Okay, this was horrible.

Can't really say it any plainer than that.  Granted, this was a promotional giveaway (allegedly there are upwards of three-million of these floating around out there)... and as such was likely meant to be disposable fluff.  I get all that... perhaps analyzing it as if it were anything but is unfair... but, here we are.  I really do have a difficult time completely bagging on any comic, but I cannot think of anything nice or redeeming to say at this juncture.

The writing was light.  This is a Powerade ad, after all.  I don't believe it was endeavoring to be "high art", but even so... it was pretty stilted.  Dialogue was clunky and wildly unnatural.  It was as though everyone was narrating the story... while also being in the story.  I can't see how this all got past both an Editor's and a Flava-er's desk.  I must admit I'm not familiar with the writer, however, I must assume if left to his own devices he would be capable of a much better story than this.

The art is... well let's say, stylized.  Characters were rather disproportionate, extremities were absolutely everywhere.  Arms that spanned yards, legs that reached for miles.  Rubber band men every which way.  Again... I get what they were going for... I think... maybe not.  It's all pretty difficult to follow, and not very pleasant to look at.

For this being a Powerade ad, there's actually very little in the way of product placement.  LeBron takes maybe two swigs the entire issue.  It doesn't help his performance on the court... it wasn't like Popeye's can of spinach, it's just a refreshing throat-stinging beverage while sitting on an international flight.

I'd be remiss to leave this out.  The Sourberry Powerade is apparently something James had a rather big part in, if this (credible?) source is to be believed.  I submit for your approval, from LeBron James, King of the Court by B.J. Robinson (2005): "... according to USA Today, as part of his six-year deal with Coca-Cola, LeBron 'sat with chemists and scientists: to develop Flava23, a red sourberry flavor for his own Powerade.  LeBron said via email from Athens, to USA Today, that he 'picked a color close to the Cavalier's road jersey.  I chose sour berry because I like the fruity taste."

Not recommended for reading... may be a neat oddity to have in your library.  Be forewarned though, tho we may travel around the world, we never do find out exactly what "flava" is.

--

Interesting Ads: (sensing a theme? edition)

Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew #1 (1982)

Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew #1 (March, 1982)
"The Pluto Syndrome"
Writer - Roy Thomas
Peciller - Scott Shaw!
Inker - Bob Smith
Letterer - Todd Klein
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Editor - Dick Giordano
Cover Price: $0.60

Another Sunday, another instance of Superman teaming up with an anthropomorphic bunny... Sorry, no delicious chocolate milk this time... might I interest you in a carrot?

--

We open on Superman and Captain Carrot discussing their current plight.  Evidently, in the Captain Carrot Special Preview in (New) Teen Titans #16 Superman was zapped into Earth-C (for "carrot", maybe?  "cartoon", perhaps?), an Earth full of "funny animal" characters.  While flying, the two observe a plane being bombarded with rays from the planet Pluto (it's still a planet to me).  The ray causes the animals inside to "revert", lose their more human traits... such as the ability to fly an airplane.

The plane begins is speedy descent and plummets toward the ground.  Superman is able to swoop beneath the airliner to ensure it lands belly first on the tarmac.  Once on the ground, the plane continues to taxi at speeds well over 100 mph.  It is up to Captain Carrot to halt the jet before it crashes into the airport.

With the day saved, Superman and the Captain head out to toward Pluto to see what's what.  Along the way, Captain Carrot recounts his origin.  One day, in his civilian life, comic book artist (of the JLA: Just'a Lotta Animals, natch) Roger Rabbit (!) the Captain ate an irradiated carrot.  A meteor had recently landed, and gave several of the "funny animals" super powers.

The duo are unable to make it all the way to Pluto due to a (Yogi) barrier.  Superman finds himself trapped like "a fly on flypaper" before vanishing.  Captain Carrot begins to plummet back to Earth.

PLOP!

Luckily, he happened to be exploring space directly above Piggsburgh, home of the mighty "Pig-Iron".  The over-sized super swine handily catches the Captain and the two decide to team up.  Pig-Iron shares his origin as well.  He was once Peter Porkchop (there's a morbid name for a pig), a steel mill worker, who was bopped on the head with a chunk of meteor causing him to take a swim in a limestone vat.

The two realize that in order to help Superman they are going to need more help.  In the Special Preview edition, the news showed four additional post-meteor superheroes.  It is decided to recruit them to the cause.

First stop, Mew Orleans to draft Alley-Kat-Abra.

It's Mardi Gras, and the streets of Mew Orleans are hopping... Before the boys can approach Alley, a Pluto-revert ray bathes the crowd.  Carrot, Pig-Iron, and Alley team-up to restrain the crowd of newly "wild" animals before regaining order.  Alley-Kat-Abra agrees to join the cause, however, not before subjecting them to her senses-shattering origin tale.  Felina Furr, martial arts instructor and soup enthusiast accidentally ate some meteor-irradiated tabbachi, giving her magic powers.

Next stop, the great state of Kornsas to draft Fastback, the reptilian rocket!

We are introduced to Fastback as he attempts to stop a "cotton-pickin' tarnado" that, as luck would have it, just happened to ensnare our proto-Zoo Crew.  After stopping the tornado, we have another origin story foisted upon us.  World's slowest firefighter, Timmy the Terrapin was heading west when a chunk of meteor landed inside his shell causing him to "run like sixty".

Our final stop, Follywood... home of Rubberduck and Yankee Poodle.

The gang arrives during rush hour, and the heroes they seek are currently making an attempt to direct traffic.  After lending them a hand, Carrot is able to convince the duck and dog to join up.  Yet another origin tale follows... Here we witness gossip columnist Rova Barkitt and screen actor Byrd Rentals (hey, I get that reference) being victimized by their chunk'o meteor.  While they were relaxing in their Bel-Airdale mansion, Rova takes a meteor to the head, which bounces into Byrd's Jacuzzi.  Rova was given the "American" powers of attracting with one hand, while repelling with another, while Byrd got the Mr. Fantastic/Elongated Man treatment.

Captain Carrot lays out their task, and our six-some head Pluto-way.  Upon arrival at the Yogi-Barrier, the new-crew is zapped away, just as Superman was earlier.  They are now on Pluto where they find not only the captive Man of Steel... but his captor... Starro the Conquerer!

Not to be left out, Starro shares his origin with the crew, recounting his battle with the Justice League of America in The Brave and the Bold #28, and his defeat at the hands of Aquaman.  One of Starro's bits fell through a chartreuse hole leading to Earth-C where it grew into a brand-new Starro.

Superman warns the Carrotteers that this Starro is a true threat.  Our funny animal friends take turns attacking the giant starfish.  Starro disposes of each member handily.  It is then that the gang realizes they need to embrace the power of teamwork to take down their foe.  Working in tandem the team easily overpowers Starro, before Alley-Kat-Abra covers the beast in magical salt... causing him to shrivel up like a slug.

Superman congratulates the team on their victory and Captain Carrot dubs his collective as the Amazing Zoo-Crew.

Our scene shifts to the White House, where President Mallard Fillmore is being spied on by a shadowy figure... and we're out.

In lieu of a letters page, Roy Thomas provides a text piece, Candygram which proves to be an interesting history lesson in "Funny-Animal" comics.

--

Yeah, I guess I'm not a "funny animal" kinda guy.  I get that this is attempting to be funny... but, as a guy who often (unsuccessfully) attempts to be funny, I think I've kinda got a feel for when something falls flat.  This issue played with well-trodden comic book tropes, and I suppose it did so the best way it possibly could... it just went to the well a few times too many.

I also didn't dig that this was the first issue of this series, and not the beginning of the story.  I suppose I could dig through my old Teen Titans books to check out the preview piece and see Superman get zapped onto Earth-C... but, I don't feel I should have to.

The non-origin writing was decent, though certainly not up to the level of quality I would normally expect from Roy Thomas.  I understand this is a different kind of animal (pardon the pun), so I suppose that may be somewhat unfair criticism.

The art, for the most part is great.  There were several instances throughout this issue, however, where panels were packed so densely that it was hard to follow the action... or even look at, if I'm being honest.  This is especially evident toward the end of the book.

Perhaps my biggest takeaway from this issue is how bigoted Captain Carrot is.  No less than four times throughout this issue, he refers to Superman as "Pinkie".  Words hurt, rabbit... I might expect that from Fastback... but, you?  C'Mon.

Can't really recommend this one outside of its novelty, though if you are inclined... DC Digital has this issue at #1.99... which feels rather steep.  There is also a giant Showcase Presents black and white volume available, which if you don't mind the lack of color, will give you much more content for your money.

--

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This ad features the very same book we're reading now, which retails for $0.60
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Rorwwff!  Twinkies Cakes!

Aquaman (vol.7) #49 (2016)

Aquaman (vol.7) #49 (April, 2016)
"Rising to the Surface"
Writer - Dan Abnett
Penciller - Vicente Cifuentes
Inkers - John Dell & Vicente Cifuentes
Colorist - Guy Major
Letterer - Tom Napolitano
Asst. Editor - Amedeo Turturro
Group Editor - Brian Cunningham
Cover Price: $3.99

Wow, this is a new one.  I know I don't usually review contemporary releases, but I found myself enjoying this one so much that I wanted to discuss it.

I'm not really what one would call an Aquaman fan.  My idea of an iconic Aquaman includes long hair, a beard, and a hook hand.  That was the last time I felt invested in the character.  While what Geoff Johns did with him post-Flashpoint was a great step forward in regard to the legitimacy of the character (and hopefully sparing us of "hur hur, he talks to fish" observations), I still wasn't interested enough to pony up the three-bucks a month to follow his adventures.

I'd heard some divisive things about the most recent ex-writer on the title, Cullen Bunn's run.  I will admit that I did not follow it.  I picked up the first post-Convergence issue, and while I didn't dislike it, it also did not inspire me to pony up the now four-bucks a month it would cost to follow along.  I'd heard rumors that the post-Bunn Aquaman would feature the return of Geoff Johns to the title... which I suppose may now be held back until Rebirth.  I guess amidst all the excitement, I somehow talked myself into picking up Aquaman again... and I'm glad I did.

As this is a brand-new issue, I'm going to (attempt to) be lighter on the summary than normal.  My intent is not to completely spoil the story... just discuss some points of it.  Hopefully I'll be somewhat successful to that end...

--

Mera and Aquaman are wrapping up their day at the lighthouse when the subject of a proposition comes up.  Arthur proposed something of a cultural immersion for Atlanteans.  Living on land would help provide insight as to how "land dwellers" live.

There is a knock at the door.  It is Officer Watson who invites the Aqua's to that weekend's Sea Festival at Amnesty Bay.  While Arthur hesitates, Mera accepts the invitation.  Before leaving, Watson tells them they should bring friends along.

The next day at the Festival, we join Arthur, Mera, Tula, and Garth... the latter trying to become accustomed to their bizarre land-dweller garments.  This is a fun scene, where Arthur and Mera introduce their guests to such novelties and diversions as cotton candy, fair games, photo booths and ships in bottles.

Remember Fun?
I'm starting to...

This really is a wonderful cluster of scenes.  Arthur and Mera discuss his unique place in the world, being as though he is born of both land and sea.  Arthur believes he will be able to make Atlantis relevant to the global community once more.  Mera ultimately approves, and in an absolutely jaw-dropping full-page spread dons an Aquawoman costume.

There are scenes peppered throughout this issue introducing an incoming threat from the water.  We see several individuals attacked by clawed hands emerging from various water sources, including a cup of water, fish tanks, a sprinkler, and a bath tub.  These scenes definitely lend to how dangerous a threat this creature will be in short order.  I'm looking forward to seeing how that all plays out.

--

I really cannot believe how excited I am for the next issue of Aquaman.  That is probably a statement I've never made before.  This was such a fun issue, as well as a perfect "jumping on point".  From what I'd heard, the last run on this title was a rather large departure for the character.  If so, I suppose this is a return to form.

The writing was very good.  Normally, when I think "Aquaman" I think of a guy with a stick up his butt.  No fun, all serious... this issue changed all of that.  Arthur is embracing a lighter hearted, almost self-depreciating in a way, attitude.  Mera came across as a very real/human character as well.  The two together felt like a very natural couple... I really like that.

The pending threat was handled very well.  Spacing these vignettes out really helped the flow of the story.  Interjecting a serious deadly threat throughout a fun visit to the fair story was a great decision.

The art... well, this was a beautiful book.  I'm not terribly familiar with Cifuentes, though I'm sure I've seen his work before.  He is a wonderful fit for this title, and I hope he will be on it (and the post-Rebirth volume) for a while to come.

Recommended for certain.  Should still be on the racks as of this writing... do yourself a favor and check it out.  I say this as a guy who has not ever collected an extended run on this title.

If tasked with a numerical grade... 9/10.

--

Interesting Ads (I'm really reaching edition):

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Hawk & Dove (vol.2) #1 (1988)

Hawk & Dove (vol.2) #1 (October, 1988)
"Ghosts and Demons"
Writers - Karl Kesel & Barbara Kesel
Penciller - Rob Liefeld
Inker - Karl Kesel
Letterer - Janice Chang
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Asst. Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $1.00

"It's Rob Lee-Field, maaan!  It's Rob Lee-Field!"

One of my earliest comic collector experiences with the work of Rob Liefeld was rather negative.  Not for any of the reasons you may be thinking.  No, I wasn't influenced by some ridiculous hit-piece "50 Worst Drawings of such-and-such" article, or "hur hur, pouches".  My problem with Rob Liefeld came from a completely different source.  Not Rob himself, but my local comic shop owner.  It's story time...

I grew up a fairly hardcore X-Men fan.  In the early 1990's there were ads from a company called "American Entertainment", sometimes known as "Entertainment This Month".  They would try to sell and hype what were considered the "hot books" at the time.  Think if Wizard Magazine had a comic book store, this is kind of what it'd look like.  These ads continued running throughout the first-half of the 1990's.  The ad to the left is from Uncanny X-Men #287 (April, 1992).

In one of these ads, right under the X-Men listing was a blurb about a "Hot New Team of Mutant Heroes" called Youngblood which was to be drawn AND written by Rob Liefeld.  There is no mention of Image Comics in this blurb, so 11-year old me figured this would likely be a brand new X-Men family title.  Stands to reason right?  It says "mutant" and there's no turtles in the picture...

In the weeks leading up to the release of Youngblood #1 my friends and I came to learn that this book would cost us $2.50.  We were still ignorant to the fact that this was not a Marvel title, much less an X-Title.  We were somewhat used to having up-priced books foisted upon us for one reason or another... crazy foil cover, polybagged, trading cards included... so the fact that this would cost twice what a normal Marvel Comic would (we were paying $1.25 for much of Marvel's output at the time) did not really phase us.

Release day couldn't come soon enough for us.  You gotta remember, Rob Liefeld's art was considered something of a breath of fresh air in its uniqueness back then, especially among young teens.  It was frenetic and wild... fun to look at.  I know that's not a fashionable stance to have... and I promise I'm not trying to get all "contrarian cat" here, but Liefeld's art was (and still sorta is) a big selling point.  I won't go as far as to say he's one of my favorites, but I won't dog on him either.

Mike's Amazing World lists the release date of Youngblood #1 as April 17, 1992.  My buddies and I were there that day... We trudged two towns over to our nearest comic shop, walking the train tracks the entire way.  This was before our town suddenly had a shop in every strip mall... We popped into the shop, only to find that Youngblood #1 was nowhere to be found on the shelves.  Well, hell... I guess it sold out.

Nope.

Our comic shop owner had one copy of the title, already bagged and boarded... tacked on the wall with a $5.00 price tag on it.  Mind you, this was release day... I protested a fair amount, as well as a cowardly preteen can protest, that is.  I just asked him why it was up-priced... just a week earlier I bought a copy of X-Factor #5 (featuring the first appearance of Apocalypse) for $4.00, how in the world is a brand-new comic worth a dollar more than that?

The owner's answer?
"It's Rob Lee-Field, maaan!  It's Rob Lee-Field!" (mispronunciation kept in for effect)

Everything I said to him was met with that same mispronounced proclamation... Rob Lee-Field... maaan.

Needless to say, I did not buy Youngblood #1 that fine day.  I doubt I even got $5.00 a week in lunch money... I simply couldn't afford it.  Couldn't justify it, either.  A buddy of mine, however, could.  With only $2.50 in his pocket, he asked if I minded walking all the way back to his house so he could hit up his mother for the other half.  All told, we easily walked ten miles that day.

When we returned to the shop, my buddy plunked down his five-dollars in a mishmash of folding money and coins of varying denominations.  The shop owner bent down, reaching into a large box behind the counter that we came to find was positively overflowing with copies of Youngblood #1, and flopped it onto the counter.  My friend asked why he couldn't have the one off the wall, after all... it was bagged and boarded.  The shop owner laughed, and dismissed his request... claiming that copy was only there "for show".

It was on that day I decided I didn't like Rob Lee--er, Liefeld.  Nothing the man himself did, but for the sins of a crooked comic shop owner.  I found a copy of Youngblood #1 for 8-cents later on... only then, did I feel redeemed.

I have since softened and (gasp) matured, and can accept Rob's work for what it is.  High-action comics, that are (many times) fun to look at.

I said all of that, so I can say this... Whenever I see a Rob Liefeld comic, that shop owner's exclaimed mispronunciation of the man's name is constantly going through my head.

So, yeah... Where was I?  Oh, Hawk & Dove #1... let's take a look...

--

We open with the villain Kestrel interrogating a young man who is bound and gagged.  He believes this young man to be Hawk.  When it becomes clear that he has the wrong man, Kestrel kills his captive.

The scene shifts to the disheveled apartment of the actual Hawk, Hank Hall.  There is a police scanner playing.  It is reporting a shooting and Hank is quickly in route.  Hank transforms into Hawk, and smashes the shooters' car with a large pipe.  Their fight carries on into a nearby steelyard, wherein Hawk is successfully able to subdue the criminals.

The Police and Press arrive on the scene and Hawk gleefully brags about his victory.  When it comes time for the police to take the criminals into custody, we find that they had already escaped their bindings and scrammed.  Hawk is made to look like a fool, and is mocked by all present.  Realizing his Hawk powers were about to wear off, Hank flees the scene, citing pressing "Teen Titans" business, even though it is public knowledge that he had been kicked off the team.  As he leaves, he picks up a ball cap dropped by one of the criminals.

Hank realizes he is late for football practice, and heads to Georgetown College.  Once there, we find that Hank is actually not part of the team... and instead just stands on the sidelines and shouts at those who are.

As he jogs off the field he bumps into a fellow student named Kyle.  Together they run into Kyle's friend Ren, a photographer and part-time waitress.  Hank is invited to dinner that night at the Suds Bar.  He accepts the gracious invite and heads on his way.

Leaving the locker room, Hank runs into Linda.  Linda was Don's (the original Dove, now dead) girlfriend.  They have a heated discussion about Don's passing and how little it appeared to affect Hank.  As they part company, Hank hears a cry for help and transforms into Hawk.

Hawk attempts to stop a mugging, however, he is snuck up on and cracked over the head with a chunk of wood.  As he falls, he thinks he sees Dove on the scene.  While unconscious, Hank recollects his origins as a hero and his partnership with his brother Don.  When he comes to, he finds that the muggers were all taken out.  He figures he must have somehow beaten them up in his sleep.

We rejoin Kestrel who is at an airport.  He is attempting to buy tickets to Washington, DC to further his hunt for Hawk.  He boards his plane, and it is implied that he "cut into" somebody by nearby civilians who are trying to get a hold of a police officer.

That evening, at Suds, Hank meets up with his new friends.  Ren, the photog/waitress appears to have a thing for him (she likes 'em big and dumb).  While there, Linda literally bumps into them nearly spilling a pitcher of beer on the party.  We observe Linda's lightning-quick reflexes when she catches the pitcher before it does any sudsy damage.  Hank shows the table the cap he'd confiscated from the steel yard, while talking up how great a hero Hawk is.  His college pals identify where the cap is from and tell him that he'd really ought to turn it in to the police as evidence.

Hank, now knowing that this hat is from the nearby Paulson Photochemical facility takes his leave.  He claims that he will swing by the police station to drop off the hat, however, he actually has different plans.  Hank heads to the facility and Hawks up.  He enters a warehouse only to find himself surrounded and peering down a dozen gun barrels.  Before anything goes down, the new Dove makes her presence known.  Hawk stares up at her mouth agape, and we are... [to be continued...]

--

This was a very good issue.  Almost a perfect introductory issue for the series.  Hawk/Hank's character is established as a blowhard, however, not to the point of being abrasive.  Somewhat reminiscent of a younger Guy Gardner, Hawk is a bit of an ass... but you can tell he has a heart, and passion... He thinks what he's doing is right, and justified.  We are also given insight as to Hawk's place in the world.  You get the feeling that people just put up with him, but overall think he's a joke.

The retelling of the origin was very well done, and perfectly placed.  Recounting what has come before while the character is unconscious was a great choice.  The side characters were all introduced well.  Hank's college clique did not overstay their welcome, and served the purpose of moving our man from point A to B.

The mysterious appearance of an all-new Dove was also quite nice.  Hints have been dropped throughout this issue, clearly... however, nothing has yet been outright said as it pertains to her identity.  Her showing up at the end of the issue works very well.  Hank/Hawk's personality states that he would run into action without considering the consequences.  Without the thoughtful Dove at his side, balancing his alpha-aggression, Hawk would not be long for this world... or at least his line of work.

I cannot think of any complaints as it pertains to the art.  The art was very nice.  I suppose it can be argued that this is very early Liefeld, before his style truly evolved into what it would become... and be derided for.  This art was very Liefeld-lite, almost Ian Churchhillian, with Todd McFarlane-esque faces.  If your only exposure to Rob Liefeld art is the aforementioned hit-pieces, or that unfortunate Captain America bust-shot... you really ought to check out this miniseries... and, yes... people in this issue have feet.

I understand Rob's art isn't for everybody.  What I have trouble understanding is how personal people try to make it.  Sometimes it's as though his work is an affront to them as a person... I just don't get it.  I will never have a problem with Liefeld or his work... by all accounts, he's a helluva guy... and, I cannot harbor any ill will toward anybody who loves comic books as much as he does.  He's a huge comic book fan, just like me/us.  That's really all I need to know.

This entire five-issue miniseries is available from DC Digital.  If you're like me, and digital comics make your teeth itch... there is also a physical collected edition available.  Give it a look-see, it may challenge some of your preconceptions... and the story is great fun to boot!

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Interesting Ads:

Anyone spot me five bucks?

... Make that fifteen bucks...

Great story here...

Another one in the to-read pile/mountain...