X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Twenty (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #20 (1988)
"Mother of the Bride"
Writer - Jo Duffy
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Petra Scotese
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #20 (April, 1988)

Here we are, back to physical media -- so's I don't have to try and sneak around my own (too rigid for my own good) rules... well, until Chapterrrrrr... 27, wuzzit? Now, that one I can't even say I own any physical version of... so, I may not be able to talk myself through!

Anyway, here we be -- back in the land of awful askew and drab iPhone camera pics, with that unmistakable Sheehan charm and skill. Hope we survive the x... well, you know.

Also, heard three of the sweetest words I'd ever been told yesterday -- "It's a cyst".

Let's Duffy!

--

Today's Vignette opens during the wedding of Storm and... well, he's got a mustache, but that certainly isn't Forge. Before we get all that much further in, this is gonna have some hippy-dippiness to it, lots of talk of "Mother Earth" of "Mother Nature"... hence the title of the bit, "Mother of the Bride". It's got a bit of X-Men Greeniness to it... but, will it manage to leave the same black stain on my soul as that piece of sh...err, litter? Let's keep goin' and find out. So, Storm's at the altar... and her friends (and some old bitty) are all here to watch her be wed. It might be worth noting that Duffy is doing her damnedest to evoke that "Claremontian" tone in the narration captions.

Suddenly, the entire scene devolves into something out of public access horror... or a wildly uncreative current year comic book -- everybody's a zombie! Well, everybody except Storm, that is. The putrefied versions of her friends start working their way toward her... with dark lust in their eyes. Ororo backs herself out of the chapel and manages to take flight.

Turns out, this is all some sort of a fever dream. Storm's actually sleeping it off in some tree house or something, like she's turn of the century Donna Troy. She notices that she's injured her arm... but cannot seem to remember quite how. We will find out soon enough. Now, Storm wakes up, yea? When she does, she is attacked by a Zombie Janitor named Jack. Well, his nametag says "Jack"... and we'll soon find out why such attention was paid to that portion of his jumpsuit. I mean, it's the only part of the thing that isn't shaded in -- so, it's gonna mean somethin', right?

Before long, Storm-in-the-present finds herself surrounded by an entire team of Zombie Janitors. Behind the lot of 'em stands... the dude she dreamed she was going to marry. Their eyes meet, and suddenly Ororo begins to remember. Now, we might all be paraphrasing that certain song by asking "Well, how did we get here?" -- so, howabout we hop into Flashback Land and find out?

We zip back to Storm enjoying a day off after a recent X-Men adventure. She's at a resort getting some Sun next to the "man-made concrete-lined hole in the ground", which, if I may translate from annoying-to-English, means "swimming pool". Nearby, she sees a crying older woman -- the same one we saw at the "wedding" a few pages back, asamattafact. Storm inquires as to what might be troubling the bitty, and finds out that she was married to a fella named Jack (oh?), who worked for Twelvetrees Chemicals. Twelvetrees, inventors and producers of a "metal substitute" had Jack working in their factory -- but, he died on the job, likely of some sort of chemical poisoning. Twelvetrees told the ol' lady (Alice Norton) that it would be too dangerous to release his body back to her... and, even too dangerous for her to have a viewing.

And so, we leave it to 'Ro. Before we know it, she's set up a meeting at Twelvetrees -- with Richard Twelvetrees himself. Richard is, duh, the mustachioed dream-groom. Storm chats him up about Jack Norton. He shows her the YK-23 Jack (and others) died working on. It's light as plastic, strong as steel -- and less expensive to produce than either. Just then, our Vignette writer sneezes and loses her place in the story -- so, we jump right ahead to Zombie Jack shambling into Twelvetrees' office. Richard is initially quite annoyed... but, his mood changes in an instant. He orders Jack to -- kill Storm! This... this is pretty rough.

Jack lunges at Storm, taking a big ol' bite out of her arm before she manages to take flight and escape. Somehow in between the time Jack lunges... and reaches Ororo, she has changed from her sharp business-casual skirt combo into her full X-Men costume -- tiara and all! Did Kurt let her use his Image Inducer or something? Oh well, Storm does escape -- and manages to keep herself collected until reaching the tree house, where she passes out.

That's "how we got here" -- so, howsabout we wrap this sucker up, eh? Storm is surrounded by the Zombie horde -- realizing she's been literally and figuratively backed into a corner. She's vowed never to take a life -- even that of a zombie, I guess. So, what is she to do? Well, turns out the question is about to be rendered moot -- because, ugh -- Mother Nature decides to intervene. The zombies are hit with bolts of lightning -- "killing" them. Storm escapes with her life, and didn't have to compromise her morals to do so. Well... hmm... we'll talk about that in the down below.

--

Okay, well this kinda sucked.

Has a bit of the X-Men Green stank on it -- which begs the question: Is it #worsethanxmengreen? [balki]of course not, don't be reedeekolous[/balki]. Nothing is worse than X-Men Green. I mean, this was bad -- and I never wanna read it again -- but, I think I'd rather tattoo this on the inside of my eyelids than ever subject myself to X-Men Green again.

I only really have one takeaway -- and I'm only seeing it thru squinted eyes. The ending of this story has Storm seemingly being "gifted" a gimme by Mother Nature. We know from future stories that Storm, moral/ethical code or not -- will do what needs done when the situation calls for it. She can be ruthless... and, as current year comics refuse to stop mentioning "is just as dangerous with or without her powers". But here -- she can't bring herself to "pull the trigger".

Or, at least that's how it looks, yes? Part All of me wonders if she may've unconsciously summoned the lightning to take out the zombies. Asamattafact, I read this for the first time while in the waiting room at the doctor's office. It wasn't as thorough a read as I usually give these things -- I was pretty uncomfortable, and really just reading to keep my mind off things. But, during that read, seeing these zombies taken out by lightning -- I just assumed Storm did it. It wasn't until my second read-thru that I noticed this weather-witchiness being attributed to Mother Nature. But, ya know what? I'm still not buyin' it. I think that Storm was pushed to her limits... was in a do or die situation, and chose to "do".

She can wrap that up as a "gift" from Mother Nature... if that'll help the medicine go down a bit easier, but if you ask me -- this was ALL Storm. Sure, this way she doesn't have to feel accountable -- but, I think this is a situation wherein she's just lying to herself. Could I be wrong? Of course... but, at the end of the day, it's not as though this story will ever be referenced again, right?

Overall, a bit of a stinker -- unevenly (and conveniently) told, probably the weakest Vignette to this point. Only worth a look for the Bolton art, which -- as usual, is a treat.

X-Lapsed, Episode 326 - X-Men Unlimited #21 (2022)

X-Lapsed, Episode Three Hundred Twenty-Six

X-Men Unlimited (vol.3) #21 (February, 2022)
"Downtime: Featuring Madrox & Strong Guy"
By Jason Loo
Letters - VC's Joe Sabino
Edits - Amaro, Cebulski
On-App: February 7, 2022

Life of Wolverine #5 (February, 2022)
"Chapter Five: Guided by Shadows"
Writer - Jim Zub
Art - Ramon Bachs
Colors - Java Tartaglia
Letters - VC's Joe Sabino
Edits - Baumgartner, Basso, White, Cebulski
On-App: February 17, 2022

Because absolutely, positively nobody demanded it - X-Lapsed has returned (for today, anyway).  It's Unlimited day... mostly because I was in the middle of writing this script when I decided to hang things up a few weeks ago.  Not much to talk about on the comics front... but, if you make it to around the twenty-minute mark, you can hear all about why there hasn't been a new episode of the show in nearly a month!

If you only listen to one episode of X-Lapsed this month... well, it'll probably be this one!  Huge thanks to everybody who's stuck with me!

--

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/xlapsed

X-Lapsed Voicemail: 623-396-5375 (or, 623-396-JERK)

Twitter: @acecomics / Instagram: @90sxmen

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X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Nineteen (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #19 (1988)
"I, Magneto!"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Nei Yomtov
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #19 (March, 1988)

I lost a bit of sleep last night... for a couple of reasons.

First: I have a doctor's appointment this morning I'm a little bit worried about, and Second: I had to try and justify the fact that I'm about to break one of my Chris-mandments and "cheat" in order to present today's Vignette.

As I've been hinting at for the past couple'a pre-rambles, I do not actually own Classic X-Men #19 (March, 1988)... and, as such, according to my "rules", should not be discussing it here on the blog. Well, here's da t'ing. While I may not own Classix #19... I do have a copy of the X-Men: Vignettes, Volume 2 trade paperback -- which includes the back-up story we're going to be discussing as soon as I stop blibbuh-blabbah'ing.

So, there's my "loophole". That having been said -- while I do have a copy of that trade... it is currently packed away at one of the houses - either here, waiting for me to unpack it... or there, waiting to be hauled over. So, I'm still going to be using the... *groan* digital version to procure the pictures for today's piece. I know absolutely nobody on this, or any other, planet gives half a damn about any'a this (nor should they!), but -- like I said, I don't have a diary, or any friends -- so, these pre-rambles have become something of a brain-dump for me.

I actually considered using this as an x-cuse to jump back into X-Lapsed, but with this doctor's appointment weighing on me I didn't think I'd be up for spitting into a mic for the better part of an hour. Also, the show's been away for three weeks at this point, and I've yet to hear from anyone who misses the damn thing. Maybe I made the right call in pulling the plug when I did?

Anyway, brain-dump over -- let's hop into a Vignette which follows up on the one we looked at back in Chapter Twelve!

--

Our story opens at a post-World War II Nazi fortress/base in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It's just an ordinary Nazi-day... until they notice a strange man, all by his lonesome, walking up the way. When he doesn't appear to be giving his approach a second-thought, the Nazis (do we capitalize the word "Nazi"? I dunno...) sound the alarm. Unfortunately for them, this isn't just an ordinary strange man -- but, the Master of Magnetism... and he's here for their asses.

With but a lift of his hand, Magneto is able to tear great big holes in the fortress walls. Nazi artillery bounces off his body. He hoists a tank into the air, throwing it directly into a nearby helicopter. Before the dust even settles, he sees his quarry -- and, it's a good thing this is a text-based deal and not a podcast, cuz there's no way I'd be able to pronounce this one -- Oberstrumbanführer Hans Richter of the Waffen SS. Anyway, Mags is sees this fella... and proceeds to hoist and toss another tank right at him.

Magneto enters Hans' quarters via the busted-up balcony, tying up the baddie on his way to a giant vault. Our man is able to magnetically access all the loot -- however, it's here where we first see what sort of stress his mutant powers put on his brain. He's hit with a migraine the likes of which he cannot even summon the words to describe. A pretty interesting bit of foreshadowing, as well as a sign that our mutant big-bad wasn't immediately an all-powerful dude who had complete control over his abilities.

In the vault, Magneto is able to locate a notebook which lists the names and locations of members of a network of leftover Nazis. He explains to Hans that he and the folks he's working for will be able to smash Odessa with this information. He then calls in to those folks he's working for: Control. Isn't that the same organization that Maxwell Smart works for? Ya know, I had to check -- cuz, I initially said that in jest -- but, yeah, that is who Maxwell Smart worked for! While he makes the call, Hans notices the agony our man appears to be in -- so, even those of us in the back of the class will get it. Worth noting, Erik reports in as Magneto, so he's already using his [hoxpox]mutant name[/hoxpox].

From here, we jump ahead a couple of weeks, rejoining Magneto on a Rio beach where he's met by his doctor, the beautiful Isabelle Somethinrnuther. She teases him about being on the beach while dressed in full formal attire, before they head back to their room. Worth noting, before she approaches, our man was reading a newspaper, which featured a story about his old friend, Charles Xavier who just gave a lecture at a Genetics Conference. Magneto wonders to himself whether or not Xavier could help him better control his powers.

Anyway, Isabelle whisks Magneto up to their room where it looks like things are about to become a bit PG-13. Erik pulls away, however, not completely over the loss of his family. While Magda did abandon him, the entire situation surrounding their split is still quite "raw". As we saw during Chapter Twelve, this is something that still affects and weighs on him even to the "present day".

Isabelle attempts to comfort him... however, the stress of these memories have caused our man to succumb to another migraine. She tells him he should be hospitalized... which, sure, probably -- if he were a normal man -- but, what in all hells is a hospital gonna do for a Master of Magnetism? Isabelle offers to give our man a massage to try and calm him down... and so, she does. During the act, however, the poor gal's neck gets slit! Well, that was unexpected.

Magneto springs up, where he finds himself greeted by -- Control?! Ah, ya see, Control's a bunch of dickbags who have been using the "mutie" to serve their interests. The whole thing is a confusing jumbled Dagwood Sandwich of a plan. We've got Nazis and Commies and Muties -- oh my! I guess Magneto's original orders, at least for this outing, had to do with collaborating with the Nazis in order to beat the Commies? Doesn't look like the bigwig at Control really cares who they're siding or fighting with, so long as it serves some nebulous interests of -- whoever Control answers to?

At this point, Magneto is -- ya know, ticked. He goes to lunge at the Control Geeks -- but finds himself flashed by one of 'em! Looks like this goof is wearing a tin-foil vest or something which amplifies and reflects Magneto's hoo-doo back on him? Kinda makes ya wonder why more folks didn't have these vests during Magneto's time as one of the biggest big-bads on the planet? Anyway, Erik asks Control why they killed Isabelle -- why not just come for him? Well, something-something "pound of flesh".

They then point their guns directly at Magneto's head -- but, choose to mock him for a bit rather than, ya know, pulling the trigger. This gives our man enough time to collect himself... and, ya know, destroy everybody and everything. He informs the lead Control jagoff that he is homo superior, and thanks to this x-perience, he's now seen the light. He knows he is destined to rule... and, lord help anybody who dare get in his way. Magneto... is born.

--

There have been plenty of attempts at telling Magneto solo stories... and more often then not, they're a terrible bore. At least to me. I feel like when writers are tasked with telling a Magneto tale, they often frame it so Magneto himself is the least impressive part of it. It's always more focused on political unrest or people "reacting" to Magneto -- or, in the case of the Cullen Bunn ongoing, they just dunked each issue in a vat of sleeping powder before shipping it.

Claremont, however, gives us such thoughtful looks into Magneto's life and times -- it never feels boring, he never feels like a side-character, and he's seldom depicted as being wholly good or entirely bad. As we saw in Chapter Twelve, he overcame adversity -- and managed to keep the faith that people were mostly good -- until that first domino tipped, and his daughter wound up burning to death. Let's talk a moment about his reaction there. Was it justified? Well, if you ask me, I'd probably say "yeah". It was a situation of great stress, frustration, and loss. If you were to ask somebody else, you might get a different answer. We could go into the whole "great power, great yadda yadda" thing, but Erik was still quite naïve to the full scope of his "great power" at this point, so it might not be a road worth going down.

I think it's more a question of "Just because you can... does that mean you should?"

We can probably all agree that ol' Erik struck the mutie lottery when it came to getting a useful power, yes? He could be, and often is, the most dangerous mutant on the planet. As we saw in this story, he understands that. He knows how powerful he is... and can be. Sure, he gets a splitting headache every time he pushes himself, but the power remains.

Before moving on, let's hop back to Chapter Twelve one more time. Despite the fact that he turned a bunch of dudes into smoldering skeletons at the end of that story, that "switch" didn't flip entirely. He wasn't immediately "Silver Age Lunatic" Magneto just yet. Instead, he collects himself... attempts to process his loss(es)... and signs up with a group called Control. This is some'a that subtle stuff I (over) romanticize during our Vignette Visits. Ya see, Erik is still able to trust. It's not said outright, but, via his actions and his willingness to... follow orders. Control, an apt name for the organization (yes?), is sending him out to handle their business -- and, since it appears they have a "common enemy" in the leftover nazis, Erik doesn't even consider that the "fix" might be in.

I mean, I could get all precious here, and invoke the "When they came for the _____, I did nothing..." line, because honestly -- I think I could get away with it. Erik allows Control to... control him, when it comes to taking out other groups. Take out the leftover Nazis? Can do. Then, the Commies? Sure... but, what about when Control comes for the "muties"? Maybe I'm overthinking it... maybe I'm trying to look smarter than I actually am. In any event, I appreciate that Magneto never seemed to consider that Homo-Superior could or would ever be targeted. It's subtle naivete -- the likes of which we do not usually associate with the Master of Magnetism.

We wrap this story with our man's "coming of age". He's suffered loss after loss... the very thing that powers him is also making his life painfully uncomfortable... and, the people he's put his trust in have just tried to blow his brains out. Not a good day to be Erik Lensherr... but a damn good day to be Magneto.

Another homerun from our Vignettes team -- and another wonderful deep-dive into the "in-between days" of Magneto.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Eighteen (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #18 (1988)
"Stalking Life!"
Writer - Jo Duffy
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Petra Scotese
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #18 (February, 1988)

Let's kick things off with a little bit of... baaaaaaad neeeeeews. Well, sorta -- I guess it all depends on your mileage. But, to follow up on a bit I shared a few chapters back -- I do not own Classic X-Men #19 (I'm also missing #'s 27, 30, and 35). I took a ride the other day trying to procure 'em (or at least #19), and... well, I was unsuccessful. I'm going to try and squeeze out a few minutes today and hit another shop or two, but I'm on WrestleMania alternative-commentary duty today for W2M (and have been all weekend), so I can't say with certainty that I'll even get to feel sunshine on my shoulders today!

So, let's say I can't find it -- where does that put us tomorrow? Uhh... I dunno. Honestly, this whole Vignette Project has been flying by -- I can't believe we're like halfway thru it! When I started, and realized I still needed a few of the issues - I had it in my head that it would take forever to get to them... and so, I had plenty of time to find 'em! I guess life's what happens when you stop paying attention, eh?

I guess we'll all be surprised tomorrow. And, by "all", I mean me -- and like 1-2 other people! Oh, you know I can't get thru a pre-ramble without at least one self-depreciating line about my own irrelevance!

For today though, we've got our first non-Claremont-written Vignette -- which, if I were a fella who used hashtags, would probably really hinder the visibility of this piece! Good thing I don't... I guess?

--

We open with the Jeanix somewhere deep in wooded area of the Xavier School grounds. She's all alone, and... well, that's x-actly how she seems to want it right now. She's set up camp... and is enjoying a little peace and quiet away from the onslaught of "them". We learn right away, however, that she isn't quite as alone as she thinks. In the foreground we see a knife-wielding voyeur checking out the scene. When the Jeanix heads over to a pond to fetch some dirty, bacterial water for her coffee, our would-be predator lunges! Unfortunately for him, she ducks. Fortunately for her, this attack paints him as being about half as smart as one of the Three Stooges.

This woodland stalker turns out to be... Wolverine. So, we're supposed to believe that this apex predator is going to be so sloppy a hunter? Well, in fairness -- Jean is the Phoenix, and the Phoenix's powers, abilities, and senses are -- convenient. Also, she's got different word balloons. As Logan turns around to face his quarry, she's now in her full green-n-gold glory, and speaking with a scary rasp to her voice. Our man tells her that he only followed her to make sure she was okay. Okay, fair enough -- when asked why he's chosen to "hunt" her, she responds that he just wanted to test her -- see how good she really is. I... don't think that would hold up in court. Wolvie reveals that he kept his thoughts "primal"... which I didn't realize was a power he had. This would (in theory) make it so the Jeanix would think he was just some random woodland critter. He was using a knife, so Jean wouldn't hear and SNIKTing. Well, Jean's a little too powerful to fall for any'a that -- and also, the fact that Banshee is hiding in a bush right over'chere didn't do much to help Logan's hunt.

Jean, Logan, and Sean chat for a bit. Jean reveals that this newfound Phoenix power can be overwhelming. There's a fear that comes with it -- the fear isn't exactly due to the power itself, but the staggering amount of options that the power presents. She can basically do anything. To further drive that point home, she TK-hurls the coffee pot at Banshee, and proceeds to lift the entire pond out of the ground so he can fetch a kettle'a scummy water.

Just then, however, we get another surprise guest -- Nightcrawler! He BAMFs in from "miles" away, and manages to scare the bejeezus outta the Jeanix! This causes her to lose focus... and control of that entire pond's worth of water, fish, and funk she's been holding up!

Over the course of the next couple'a pages... everybody and everything winds up... ya know, wet. We get a reminder here that Wolverine's got a metal skeleton, which makes me think this one was written while BIG Jim Shooter was still in the EiC seat. Logan razzes the Elf for screwing everything up -- to which, Kurt pleads that he had no idea Jean was holding up an entire pond. Stands to reason, yes? Nightcrawler remained several miles away so she wouldn't be able to read his thoughts or know that her teammates were planning to "test her".

The Jeanix is annoyed at the entire situation... which, ya know, is fair. Kurt suggests that Phoenix ought to have the ability to undo anything she does do... unless it has anything to do with asparagus. Okay, he doesn't say that last part. Anyway, we wrap up with Jeanix doing just that -- collecting all of the water and nastiness of the Xavier pond, and ploppin' it right back where she got it.

Our story closes with the fellas satisfied by the results of this "test" of Jean's new Phoenix powers... and a Saturday Morning Cartoon-ish gag about still needing to fetch some water for the coffee!

--

This was one of those stories that probably read a lot better back in the long ago. There's nothing actually "wrong" with it, and it's quite fun for what it is -- but, in the (nearly 40!) years since, Marvel has done such a number on what the Phoenix actually is/was -- that it's hard for me to really accept anything Phoenix-y at face value.

Maybe it's my own density... maybe it's my own "sins of the son" damage -- but, everything Marvel's done since... and their flip-floppy definition and characterization of the Phoenix... I dunno, it makes me wish fewer of our Vignettes were so hyper-focused on it. Honestly, there are only so many times I can complain about wibbly-wobbly and convenient continuity, and how it distracts from the actual story we're looking at before that loses whatever novelty it may've (but likely never) had.

So, let's do our best not to concern ourselves with any'a that... if we can.

This story, in a vacuum, was (as mentioned) pretty fun. I'm not sure it necessarily "stands to reason" that Logan, Kurt, and Sean would be trying to "test" Jean this way... but, it does facilitate the events that transpire. Boy, there's a sentence that means absolutely nothing, eh?

Yeah, I'm already in vamping mode -- lemme just lay it out. This was a fun story... if you don't think too hard about it... or what happened after. The lead-off story for this issue of Classix reprints X-Men #112, during which Jeanix goes toe-to-toe with Magneto... and loses. Perhaps this "testing" is due to that? Or, more likely, it's a harmless inventory story that I'm trying way too hard to "make fit".

Oh well - at's all I got. Fun story, excellent art -- probably worth the 3-4 minutes it'd take ya to read it! Probably not worth the 4-5 minutes you just spent reading this. Then again, ain't nothin' gonna make that worthwhile!

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Seventeen (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #17 (1988)
"A Taste for Vengeance!"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Petra Scotese
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #17 (January, 1988)

Today's Vignette is... a pretty weird one -- though, I suppose that's par for the course, innit?

Well, lemme 'splain.

This backup feature is actually the lead-in to the main story (which appeared in X-Men #111 - June, 1978) -- which has the cover with the circus barker who everybody (including me) thinks is Arcade when we first see him? Yeah, that one.

Now that issue is weird in and of itself -- and, if I'm remembering right (which I very well may not be), kinda just "happens". It's got former-X-Man/current-Avenger, Beast as a point-of-view character. He winds up tracking a group of "freaks" to a Dallas circus (not the State Fair, sadly), where he discovers that the new X-Men (who he hasn't yet met) are part of the sideshow.

This Vignette is kinda the "How did we get there?" for that story. And, yeah - it's weird.

Oh, by the way -- if there are any WordPress Doctors in the house -- this "new look" is, ya know, "new" -- so, I haven't figured it all out just yet. Anybody out there know how to fix this weird, ugly, and inconsistent "zoom"-effect on some "Featured Image" thumbnails I'm getting on the front page?

Thanks!

--

Our story opens with Mesmero... happening into Jean Grey around some corner in town -- as though he's the Alphabet Pet running into Wolverine. Upon seeing her, he instantly mesmerizes her. Jeanix is powerless against his glowing eyes... and accompanies him back to his apartment, where it looks as though she's about to be initiated into his harem. Mesmero is being tended to by some PYT's as he waits for his latest "attendant" to change into something a little bit less comfortable.

Moments pass, and our gal finally presents herself -- and, she's in quite the get-up. Well, actually -- I think it'd require about 5x the fabric to be considered a "get-up". Considering the tone of this bit of the story, I should probably stop saying "get-up". Anyway, she's in a sheer-ish nightie and panties. Mesmero clearly likes what he sees, and attempts to, uh, "seal the deal" here. Elsewhere, Professor X is kicking himself for taking the less-straightforward approach with his favorite Silver Age student.

Now, we all know that -- this isn't really Jean, yes? This is the Phoenix-in-Jean-Clothes... so, Mesmero's mesmerIZing, isn't x-actly effective. Well, I mean, it got her here, yes -- but, it's not allowing him to increase the ick-factor of the scene, if you catch my drift. He'd like to, ya know, touch her -- however, it turns out he can only keep up the hypnosis until making physical contact. Talk about a monkey's paw wish for our green-skinned baddie, eh?

So, given the situation, what is a pervert to do? Well, since he can't ride the Jeanix, he may as well use her to take down the rest of the X-Men, yes? And so, that's x-actly what he intends to do. Before long, they arrive back at Xavier's to start putting his Mesmerian plan into action -- starting with Nightcrawler.

These bits are gonna come at us hot 'n heavy -- there really won't be a whole lot for me to opine or commentate on -- it's really just a string of hypnotization. Not entirely sure why Jeanix was required for this little caper -- as Mesmero himself is doing all the eye-gazing. I dunno, maybe he needed directions to the Mansion? I mean, that's gotta be the reason, right? Anyway, with Kurt already in his pocket, the next to go down is Banshee.

Then Colossus, in mid-tooth brushing -- and Cyclops, who's busy brooding about how awful his life is. Hey, isn't that my gimmick?

Next, is Storm -- who manages to fire out a panicky bolt of lightning before succumbing to Mez's "charms". This blast alerts Fonzie... err, Wolverine who is out on the grounds doing Wolverine things.

Logan rushes back to the School... only to discover that Mesmero has, ya know, pretty much accomplished his goal of mind-controlling the Uncannies. I mean, imagine jobbing your all-new team to friggin' Mesmero? Anyway, Wolverine ain't at all pleased by this turn of events, and quickly finds himself on the business-end of Mez's ambition. Our baddie attempts to get into Wolvie's mind... but, is only intermittently successful.

Over the course of the next several pages, the combined forces of the X-Men beat the holy hell out of Wolverine. Now, considering he's, ya know, Wolverine -- he's able to withstand the onslaught, and even looks like he's got the upper-hand at various points throughout. We must never forget how cool and powerful Logan is, right?

Here's the thing, though -- Mesmero, who at first appeared to be quite enjoying this li'l melee... has grown bored. And, well, not a panel too soon, right? He looks at his handiwork, realizing he's done the impossible - he's beaten the X-Men. But, now what? He commands his charges to desist... and everybody just collapses to the ground.

He stomps the house for a bit, damning his own lack of imagination -- citing that someone like Magneto would know x-actly what he ought do. He then happens across a framed photograph of Nightcrawler doing some circus-y things, and has himself an idea -- he's going to, well, put the X-Men in... a circus?

--

Like I said -- weird, right?

Now, I may've already mentioned this a time or two during our Vignette-visits (visnettes?), but it's been a pretty long while since I last read the early Claremont stuff. I'm kinda keeping myself "purposely ignorant" at the moment, as I wanna be able to x-perience it as purely as possible if and when The Essential X-Lapsed ever makes it to this point. Which... if that's the case -- well, the Vignette project may not have been the smartest thing to jump into, eh?

Anyway, I say that - so I might say this: I was completely lost when I started reading this one. It felt like I was reading recent-ish/post-HoxPoX Excalibur -- I thought maybe I missed an issue. Obviously, I didn't -- I was just a tad bit lost. Happens to the best of us. Reading though it, and getting to the non-ending... I was even more confused. Ya know, until I was able to mentally "place" the lead-off story.

Even before I realized the "when" and "how" of the story... and amid my cloudy confusion, I did like this. I thought it was pretty fun. It's not often we see Mesmero, who was a baddie I put a whole lot more stock into when I was a kid -- even before I saw him on-panel! My first run-in with the fella was in a trading card set... can't remember exactly which one, either a Marvel Universe or X-Men set -- more likely the latter.

I've talked before (at least I'm pretty sure I have) about how the trading cards over-inflated the import of a lot of characters, concepts, and events. I thought if something had "earned" a trading card, it was important. Which likely (and hopefully) explains that short-stack of Slapstick comics I've got right over'chere. It was with these trading card sets that I learned about stinkers (in my opinion) like Atlantis Attacks, Operation: Galactic Storm, and the Evolutionary War -- and made them seem vital and larger than life. The same could be said for a B (or C... maybe even D)-Lister like Mesmero.

The open does feel quite convenient -- almost to the point where I think I am missing something. To be honest, I probably am. Like I said, I suppose I'll know better if/when The Essentials reaches the late 70s... which, at the rate I'm going might actually occur in the late 70s of this century?

I do have a lot of questions about why Mesmero needed Jeanix with him to take down the X-Men. Well, I suppose it's just one question -- and that question is "Why?" Sure, he explains here that her telepathy "supercharges" his own powers... but, it kinda makes you wonder how he's able to mind-control her, but needs her help to hypnotize the likes of... Banshee? I mean, nothin' against me boyo, but -- he ain't no Jean. I dunno.

Maybe this is a sign that some stories don't really need a "How Did We GET Here?" preface? Maybe X-Men #111 should've just stood on its own? Maybe this is a case of "subtraction by addition"? Or, ya know, maybe I'm just an idiot?

Yeah, it's probably that last one.

Story weirdness aside, I think it's been a minute since I last apologized to John Bolton for initially not liking his art -- so, howsabout we have another go-round of that? The art here... is gorgeous. The facials here are amazing, the action is tight -- I mean, it's just beautiful work from Bolton... who I really ought to be more vigilant about "shouting out" during our Vignette visits. It's really some dazzling stuff - worth a look all on its own.

Overall, like I said - I had a lot of fun with this li'l ditty... I just had to do a little contorting of my pea-sized brain to make it "work".

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Sixteen (1987)

 

X-Men Vignettes #16 (1987)
"Dearest Friend"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #16 (December, 1987)

Hey Gang -- wanna hit up a little bit of housekeeping before we get into the discussion - in that, we're about to enter some uncertain times for our Vignettes Project. If you've been following this site for awhile, you'll know that I have certain "rules" for the blog-content I create -- among them is, if I'm going to write about it, I gotta actually own it. I bend the rules for the Essentials show... though, I do own physical versions of most everything I cover there -- just not always the original issue. With blog-posts, however, I dunno -- I'm a little less flexible.

With that said, as of this writing, I'm missing Classic X-Men #19. Sure, I could just read it - and grab my images on Marvel Unlimited -- but, well, that just ain't the way I do things. I'm going to be hitting the town today in hopes that I can snag a copy -- but, in the event that I cannot procure one, we might be heading to a bit of a forced break on the Vignette front.

Funny -- I say all this assuming anybody actually gives a rat's ass! Oh well... let's get into today's story!

--

We open in Ireland and it's... probably the 1970s. Despite my own Irish heritage (77th most common Irish surname, boyo!), I have never really been able to wrap my head around the whole Irish Republic Split. Well -- maybe it's ore accurate to say that I just never put in the effort to finding out what it's all about? All's I know from world history is outta comics... so, I can only draw from my readings of the Nightwing and Speedy Action Comics Weekly feature for this. There was also that issue of Web of Spider-Man that got replaced by an inventory story when the IRA bits of its original tale were deemed too controversial. So, for the purposes of the telling, we'll just assume that "tensions are high"? Apologies for only being a fake ass comics historian... and not a fake ass overall one! So, anyway -- Sean Cassidy is attempting to hitch a ride home from a concert up "The Derry" (which sounds obscene). He's stopped by a pair of officers, who give him the pat-down, and assume that he's up to no good. Ya see, he's from the wrong part of Ireland -- or, at least our interrogating police sergeant, Damien McLanahan seems to think so. It's assumed here that Sean is an IRA terrorist gun-runner. Are we allowed to refer to them as "terrorists" in "current year"? I can never tell anymore. I'm just repeating what the sergeant said!

Now, before the Sarge and his deputy (Charley Sandy), can haul Sean away -- a motorcycle comes speedin' down the way. The biker runs the coppers off the road into a ditch before picking our Sean up for a getaway. Sean does not know who this person is -- but, I tell ya -- it's not really helping his case here, is it? Innocent folks don't usually try to run over policemen with a motorcycle, do they?

Anyway, what follows here is... a pretty ridiculous chase scene, which goes on for way too long, considering this is a short-story. The police scramble into their car and chase the motorbike down a trail... through a field, and finally to a coastal cliffside. Both cop cars wreck during this... and, yet, McLanahan won't give it up. When the motorbike does reach the coast, we (or at least I) learn that it's out of the officers' jurisdiction -- they're now in "The Republic". That, however, doesn't stop our Damien from pulling out his piece and firing. The bullet hits the back tire of the motorbike, throwing it out of control -- moments later, our two chasees are sent right off the cliff!

Before they hit the drink, Sean lets out a whopper of a scream -- which, isn't the first time he's used his mutant ability. He grabs the biker and flies with them across Donegal Bay back to Cassidy Keep. He sets the biker down and gets punched in the face for his trouble. Ya see, they're ticked that they lost the best bike they'd ever had. The biker then pulls off their helmet, revealing the fact that this midnight rider is a... g-g-g-g-g-g-girl! Banshee is immediately smitten.

Once the dust of the situation settles and cooler heads are able to prevail, our mystery gal introduces herself as Maeve Rourke... a name that makes me relieved that this is a blog post and not a podcast, because, you could give me a half-dozen tries and I wouldn't be able to say it right! Anyway, they head inside for something "stronger" than cocoa. While rifling through the fridge, Sean's cousin Tom enters the scene. He too seems to be taken by this beautiful creature whose darkened their doorway this night. Banshee is immediately wary of Black Tom's charm... and realizes that if he's wanting to move forward with a relationship with the lovely Maeve, he's going to be in for a fight.

As the night wraps up, Sean flies Maeve back to... somewhere without backgrounds? So, the end of a Silver Age Comic, I guess? There, he talks a bit about his Banshee Cry -- which, she seems completely cool with. Like, almost scarily cool with. She assumes that it's "some form of evolutionary mutation". Wow, give that lady a cigar. They kiss, and make plans to see each other again. But, here's the thing -- Maeve's going to be dating both Cassidys (Cassadies?) over the course of the next little bit!

We get a weird thrupple montage - showing the Cassidy Cousins and Ms. Rourke hanging out and getting along real well, before jumping ahead to an evening in the Spring, where Sean intends to escort Maeve to the University Ball and attempt to make their relationship exclusive. He gets himself all gussied up, and heads out on his motorbike. On the way, however, he happens to ride passed -- Sergeant Damien McLanahan! The Sarge sees this as his opportunity to get even... and so, he runs our man right off the road!

Later, back at Cassidy Keep, Sean returns home -- and he's an absolute bloody mess! Black Tom (and a nursemaid) bring him to bed so he can rest. Here, Sean asks his cousin to meet up with Maeve to let her know what happened... and that, ya know, he didn't stand her up. Tom clarified that Sean really wants him to do this before agreeing.

From here, we jump ahead to Tom's tuxedoed arrival at the Rourke apartment. She giddily answers the knock, expecting it to be Sean -- and is surprised to see his creepy chin-strapped cousin instead. Tom tells her... well, he doesn't tell her anything really -- just that Sean ain't comin'. He then proceeds to take her out to the University Ball himself! What a dick.

Well -- hold that thought, because as they dance the night away, Maeve draws in for a kiss. It's here that Tom's conscience gets the better of him, and he comes clean about what actually happened to Sean that night. He isn't standing her up... he is resting and recovering after having been run off the road by a lunatic. This... somehow ingratiates Tom as Maeve's "best friend". So... did he just get "friend-zoned"? I dunno... in any event, this is where we exit.

--

Well -- this is going to sound like a negative, but I assure you it's not -- but, this may as well have been a Wolverine story. That is to say, I enjoyed it -- I just don't have a whole heckuva lot to say about it.

We could talk a little bit about the Rourke-Cassidy relationship though... as, I doubt we'll be doing a whole lot of that anytime soon? Now, if you're even in the least bit X-Savvy... you'll immediately realize that Maeve Rourke is Theresa's (Siryn) mother. What you may not know is that this little Vignette is actually her first appearance. So, hey -- if you have a copy, make sure you get it slabbed just in case there's a low-effort, half-assed, retweet-bait Disney+ "Story of Siryn" series in the works!

The Sean/Maeve relationship wasn't really x-plored all that much over the years (outside of their having a daughter) -- in fact, if the Marvel Wiki is to be trusted (insert snarky comment about how only movie-related stuff gets updated over there here), Maeve's only ever appeared on panel four times... well, three times, actually - the fourth and final appearance (in an unnecessary issue of the even more unnecessary Uncanny X-Men: First Class series) was as a g-g-g-g-g-ghost. Saddest (but unsurprising) part of this is, despite the fact that she's only ever appeared four times... they still couldn't keep her story (or even her damned hair color) straight!

Now, we know that she will ultimately choose Sean. Depending on which of these few issues you refer to, you'll find out that they will wed, and shortly into their marriage, Sean will be accepted into Interpol. While he's away, Maeve will give birth to their daughter (Sean didn't even know they were expecting), and be killed in an IRA bombing. Black Tom would "adopt" Theresa -- and keep her true parentage a secret from everybody until she grew into a young adult.

Boy... I'm really struggling to find something to say here, vamping for word count is never a good look -- maybe that's why nobody follows what I do anymore! I think we'll just leave it here. This was a good story -- a fun story -- just not a story that inspires all that much in the way of discussion... not that they all have to, of course. Worth a look!