Jonah Hex #92 (August, 1985)
"A Blaze of Glory!"
Writer/Editor - Michael Fleisher
Art - Gray Morrow
Letters - Duncan Andrews
Colors - Bob LeRose
Cover Price: $0.75
Last week we took a look at the first issue of the futuristic Hex... I figured it might be fun to look at his final adventure in the old west.
Now, I'm not a big "western guy"... but, I'm willing to make an exception here.
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As we open, it's starting to rain... and our man Hex decides it to find himself some shelter, lest he wind up soaked. The barn he finds just happens to be already occupied by some bank-robbin' varmints... who are arguing about the split of the take. Also, there is a young girl slumbering in a stall.
She is shocked awake when the robbers' "inside man" (a banker) demands he get a cut of the loot... and winds up with a belly full'a lead for his troubles. Jonah also overhears the shot, and thinks to himself "Whut in the ding-dong?!" which is a pretty great line... which I look forward to adding to my lexicon of exclamations.
The baddies hear the young girl gasp, and decide to investigate the stall. She whacks one of them in the knee with a branding iron and rushes outside. They give chase, as she could theoretically identify them if she were to make it back to civilization. She escapes into the tall grass, and runs right into our man, Hex.
One of the robbers wanders a little too close for comfort, and so, Hex slinks behind and... shanks him! The rest of the baddies see Hex and the kid riding away.
We shift scenes to find Emmy stuck in a hole. The rain is still coming down, and if the muddy hole continues to fill up, the poor young lady will likely drown. I'm not terribly familiar with the world of Hex, so I couldn't say whether or not Emmy is a long-tenured character. Either way, she's in danger.
Lucky for her she's within earshot of some old coot. He hears her shouting, and along with his loyal pup, Sawtooth, they check into the peril of our pig-tailed pal.
He rides over, and tosses Emmy a vine. He nyoinks her to safety and takes her back to his cabin so she can recover. As they make their way back, we can see that they are being watched.
Back with Jonah, he tells the young girl (who we learn is an orphan named Cindy) that he is going to drop her off with a pair of friends so he can return to the barn and nab the baddies. Cindy argues that she should remain by his side to help him out. Hex doesn't dig that idea.
After dropping Cindy off, Hex doubles back to nab him some varmints. Cindy winds up waiting a few minutes before... stealing a horse and following him anyway!
We rejoin Emmy and the coot back at the cabin... and that voyeur we saw earlier has decided to bust on in! It's pretty clear that he's looking for Emmy... and so, she hoofs it... while the poor old man gets stuck dealing with the fallout.
Elsewhere, Jonah is laying in wait to pounce on the robbers... when he realizes that Cindy has followed him! This gives away Hex's location... and actually draws a few rounds of gunfire! Jonah tackles Cindy to protect her from taking a slug to the face.
They head to the high ground so Jonah can plan their next move. He asks her if she's ever fired a rifle... and she kinda lets it slip that she's not quite the orphan that she presented herself as (her daddy taught her to shoot, by the way). He hands over his piece, and tells her to squeeze off a shot every ten seconds to cover him, while he tries to sneak behind the baddies.
After sneaking around, Hex lights a stick of dynamite. Unfortunately, he didn't sneak far enough around... and finds himself staring down the barrel of one of the robbers!
Lucky for him, turns out our Miss Cindy is a heckuva crack-shot. She shoots the robber in the gut, giving Jonah enough time to toss the stick of dy-no-mite at the others! The day is saved.
Later, Jonah collects his bounty... and, get this, meets Cindy's folks! Ya see, she was never an orphan, just a runaway. Her father tries giving Hex a reward, however, since he's currently counting a wad of cash thick enough to choke a horse, he turns it down.
Jonah decides he could use him a drink, and so he heads to a nearby watering hole.
As he downs his whiskey, he is joined by a frantic Emmy! She tells him that she's being tailed, and no sooner do the words leave her mouth, than the voyeuristic pursuer arrives!
The bad guy draws his gun and aims it at Hex... just then, a red light shines... and, when it passes, Jonah's... gone!!!
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I'm not a big western fan... but, I know what I like. And... I liked this!
One of the things I really appreciated about this is... at no point, beside that final page (and cover copy), does this feel like a "final" issue. It's really just another adventure in the Old West for Jonah Hex. He rounds up some baddies and saves a young girl. Emmy's scenes ramp up to a point where it feels like something is about to happen... then, in a flash, Jonah's gone!
I gotta wonder how a fan of Jonah and Western Comics felt reading this back in ye old 1985... especially a fan who wasn't really "in tune" with comics news... and didn't know that Jonah was about to be whisked away to the far-flung future. How angry must they have been? I mean, really... Jonah Hex was the last Western standing... and here it goes!
It reminds me of that Roy Thomas anecdote, where he subscribed to All-Star Comics... and with the second issue of his subscription, the title had changed to All-Star Western! Imagine being subscribed to Jonah Hex... and receiving Hex #1 during your sub! It's such a staggering shift... I'm gonna have to cruise the ancient USENET and see if I can find some "as it happens" reactions.
Back to the story... I dug the introduction of sharp-shootin' Cindy, and wonder if maybe Michael Fleisher might've been hedging his bets. I'm postulating, but... I wonder if he was hopeful that Cindy would get a decent fan-reaction, and perhaps prompt a title of her own, taking Hex's "old west" mantle. Hell, for all I know (I am at a disadvantage when it comes to talking about Westerns)... that might actually exist somewhere in the world!
Overall... not only an important issue... but one I had a great time reading! I'd definitely recommend giving it a look, even if you are not normally into Westerns. Unfortunately, this doesn't look to be available digitally... nor has it been collected in trade.
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Superman #257 (October, 1972)
"Superman Battles the War-Horn!"
"The Greatest Green Lantern of All!"
Writers - Cary Bates & Elliot S! Maggin w/Neal Adams
Pencils - Curt Swan & Dick Dillin
Inks - Murphy Anderson & Dick Giordano
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.20
Being as though I am an avid "cheap-o bin" diver... I don't always come to the surface with pristine copies. Such is the case today. If you look at the cover (just over Superman's head), it looks like a vendor re-priced this issue at a nickel.
That might annoy some, however... I can't help but to find it kinda charming. I love the idea that this issue has a little bit of "story" to it. Plus, the way the price was rubbed out, it almost looks like Superman is wearing a cute little wizard hat... so, it's got that going for it too.
Anyhoo, today we're discussing a pretty important issue... and, get this, the important part comes in a back-up! A The Fabulous World of Krypton back-up, no less... and those are usually the worst!
Let's get to it!
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Our story opens with Lois, Clark, Jimmy and Perry enjoying a day out at the Metropolis Pier. It's been awhile since they'd all been together... as this is shortly after Morgan Edge swooped in and took over. After a long-overdue lunch, the foursome are witness to a strange glowing humanoid form careening into the water. Clark ushers the rest into a cab (using the city ordinance of only three passengers to a cab) to "legally" sneak off and "supe up". He destroys a bit of the pier in the process, but it's not like we're keeping score or anything.
In the drink, Superman comes across a... well, rather generic looking DC alien. The kind of alien that would drive me directly into the waiting arms of a Marvel comic. Anyhoo, he has a strange apparatus on his back, which we soon learn is his "war-horn". He uses it to whip up an underwater torrent which sends Superman off.
The water jets actually carry him thousands of miles over to the western coast of Africa!
As he makes his way back to the States, we shift scenes to a pair of children playing "monster" in the woods... and no, that's not a euphemism for anything (shame on you for thinking that is was). Anyhoo, they run into... War-Horn, who scares them off.
Clark returns to the Galaxy Building, and Jimmy shows him some film of fish acting weird. Also, the report of a pair of young fellas reporting having seen a hulking alien figure. Well, I dunno about "hulking", he looked a bit more lanky to me.
Clark rushes off to "supe up" and next thing we know, he's in a forest that had recently burned to ashes. He then gets a "mental chill" that tells him War-Horn is near. Never knew Superman had a "spidey-sense", but whattayagonnado? Either way, War-Horn is hanging out underground... just like the cover, only without the boys clutching Superman's legs.
War-Horn bursts from the ground, and uses his... uh, war-horn to surround Superman with earth... from which erupts a volcano. This being Superman, such a thing isn't terribly effective. He socks War-Horn in the mush, causing him to attempt to flee.
As Superman gives chase, he finds himself entangled in some vines. After shaking them off, he comes across a camper... who claims that he is responsible for the forest fire. Ya see, he struck a single match... and "whoosh" - the whole forest went up. Superman decides to engage his Infra-Red vision, which reveals... precious little Nitrogen in the air.
He deduces that War-Horn's mission is stealing Earth's atmospheric Nitrogen... and, get this... it turns out, that's exactly what he's here to do! War-Horn then surrounds Superman with a storm-cloud... claiming, if he were to break out of it... the resulting thunderclap would deafen everybody on Earth. Also, the only way to stop War-Horn... is to kill him!
Rather than risk "stepping out", Superman just freezes the cloud with some Super-Breath. He then creates a hail stone... and pelts the geek in the chin with it. With War-Horn on the ropes, Superman reels back and readies himself to deliver a fatal blow!
Before the punch connects, however, the (actual) war horn activates and whisks War-Horn (the alien) back to wherever the hell he'd come from. Ya see, that was exactly what Superman had hoped would happen... the device would do anything possible to protect its wearer. Kinda risky... but, it did the job. And honestly, worst case scenario if it didn't... we have one less generic murderous alien in the DC Universe.
On to the back-up... which, to me, is actually this issue's "main event". This is one of those (very few) important ones... which really adds to the lore of both Superman... and the Green Lantern Corps. We open with Tomar-Re preparing for his retirement. Before he is deactivated, however, the Guardians of the Universe have assembled to finally tell him the story of a certain planet he had been responsible for overseeing.
That planet, of course, was Krypton. The Guardians speak of a Kryptonian specimen who would make the finest Green Lantern... the offspring of a scientist named Jor-El and an astronaut named Lara.
The Guardians had received word of Krypton's pending doom... however, were helpless to stop it from happening. All they could do is send a member of their Corps, Tomar-Re out Krypton way to delay the inevitable long enough for the Kryptonians to realize the danger and colonize on another planet. Why they couldn't just tell the Kryptonians themselves... I dunno.
In fact, our friend Tomar-Re doesn't know either! Though, he deduces that if the Guardians got involved and facilitated the Kryptonians safe passage, it would do irreparable damage to their culture/way of life... or something. Anyhoo, Tomar-Re is tasked with gathering the element known as Stellarium... which, will somehow delay Krypton going boom. There are apparently nine "Krypton Years" left.
On Krypton, just as the Guardians had predicted... a certain scientist realized the extreme danger the planet was facing. He prepared for a planet-wide evacuation via a Space-Ark. Unfortunately, Brainiac stole it (along with the City of Kandor). Around this time, Lara gave birth to the "Star Child" we all know as Superman.
At this point, the rest of the science council decided that Jor-El was just a kook, and they weren't going to waste their time chasing the doom he foresaw. One of the jerks is even yawning in Jor's direction.
Back with Tomar-Re... as he exhausts a sector's supply of Stellarium, he is so absorbed in his work that he doesn't even realize that a nearby star (called Ariel) was just about to go nova!
This would render Tomar-Re temporarily blind. He'd use his radar-guide to attempt to remain on task, however, with the state he was in... it wasn't exactly a direct flight back Krypton way.
Then, just as his sight returns... the first thing he sees is, the destruction of the planet Krypton!
The Guardians continue their tale... Tomar-Re was left in a state of shock which took several days to recover from... during which time, the Guardians themselves were responsible for guiding Kal-El's spacecraft to Earth. Geez, the gall of these guys, taking the credit for everything.
We wrap up with Tomar-Re of Xudar being retired with honors.
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Well, that first story was kind of a stinker, wasn't it? Just Superman versus a generic alien. I've said it before, and I'm saying it now... it's stories like this that kinda slid DC Comics into "second place" for me growing up. Very little stakes... just some alien with an apparatus who makes a one-off appearance, never to be seen again.
Why would I read this instead of a Marvel book... where the heroes were fighting villains we actually had an investment in? Well, that's neither here nor there, I guess. Over at Marvel these days, I can't recognize the heroes, let alone the villains.
The Nitrogen thievery feels like something out of the Silver-Age (especially the page of Superman looking at the "spectrum"). Though, I mean, this was only 1972... not so far removed from the silly sci-fi Silver-Age. Superman risking actually murdering War-Horn was about the only sorta interesting part of this one. Overall, a skippable affair... really not much more to say about it.
Now, although the opener was skippable... the issue overall most certainly isn't... because, mark this date down, because a back-up finally delivered!
I have always loved the idea of Tomar-Re being (tangentially) involved with the last days of Krypton. I feel it's a little thing that adds so much to both the lore of Superman and the Green Lantern Corps.
It also answers a few questions. If the Green Lantern Corps has representation in every sector in the known universe, it would stand to reason that Krypton would be in one of those sectors. It would also stand to reason that the Green Lantern Corps would somehow be involved with their plight, even in just a "clean up" effort.
What I don't quite understand is why the Guardians couldn't just offer their assistance to the people of Krypton. We get kind of a weak answer in that it would somehow hurt Kryptonian culture... but, that feels like a complete cop-out. In fairness though, we are working within the constraints of a story that happened. It's not like we can have a story where the Corps actually intervenes and either A) Saves the Kryptonians or B) Fails the Kryptonians.
So, within the story constraints, I feel like they did the best they could. A temporarily blinded Tomar-Re is unable to deliver the time-buying Stellarium... and so, Krypton goes boom. When we think about it though, Tomar-Re very likely did buy Krypton just enough time for Kal-El to be born, and blasted in the approximate direction of Earth... so, we actually have him to thank for Superman's arrival on Earth.
Not sure I'm buying the Guardians taking full credit for "guiding" Kal-El's ship to Earth... but, whattaya gonna do? They always seemed like self-important jerks... and this is just another log for the fire.
Overall... this is one I'd suggest tracking down. The opener was just kinda "there" (though, it's got Curt Swan on art, which is nice). The backup is really what you're grabbing this one for though. Not only is it an excellent story, but it's also got some fantastic Dick Dillin art. The back-up has been reprinted a number of times, most recently in Superman: The Many Worlds of Krypton. This issue is also available digitally.
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Gross Point #1 (August, 1997)
"Welcome to Gross Point"
Story - Mark Waid & Brian Augustyn
Pencils - Sean "S.M." Taggart
Inks - Roger Langridge
Colors - Patricia Mulvihill
Letters - Rick Parker
Editor - Martin Pasko
Cover Price: $2.50
Welcome to a "sort-kinda" installment of #boohauntedblog.
Gross Point is one of those books that totally flew under my radar back in the long ago. Just looking at the cover tells me this probably isn't my kind of book... let's find out together.
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We open with the Pickett family as they drive into their new home town, Gross Point. Looks like Howard (the father) finally found himself a job that doesn't involve bagging groceries. His wife, Charmaine is supportive, but not all that happy that he appears to be falling asleep at the wheel. In the back seat, we meet their children, teen-age twins Terri and Andy... who are at each other's throats over a pair of dead batteries, and a missing hair dryer.
As they drive, we can get a look at how strange this little town is. There's a boy delivering papers from a wagon being pulled by a little were-beast. A Policeman appears to have a whistle growing out of his face, a reptilian child is being pushed in a baby carriage... they also pass a "Jiffy Mortuary" where your passed loved ones can be laminated while you wait. What I'm saying is, this is an odd place.
They finally pull up to their new digs, which is right next door to a house shaped like a rubber duck... only to find that it's still being worked on.
Their robotic realtor explains that the place ain't quite ready for them yet (they've got some "howling" to deal with), and sends them to the nearby Hotel DeKaye for the night. As our Picketts pull away, we can see that another one of their neighbors is dealing with a tentacled horror. Nobody notices this.
At the Hotel, the Picketts are "greeted" by a pair of surly siamese conjoined twins. Their bags are taken by a rabid monkey bellboy named Klepto. Yeah... this is starting to wear on me a bit.
We join Terri and Andy in their room... where they argue some more about the blow dryer. As Andy tries to fall asleep, he realizes he is in direct beam of a nearby lighthouse (there are no bodies of water around, by the way).
The next morning, the Picketts wake up late. Ya see, Klepto stole their alarm clock. This means that Howard Pickett is late for his first day of work. Whoops. The kids are left to their own devices for the day... Dad heads in to work anyway, and Mom trudges down to the Employment Office, where she meets a Fortune Teller of some stripe, because of course she does.
We follow Howard into work at Septum International Corporation )(SIC), where he has his first meeting with his new boss, Mr. Septum. The boss has a gigantic nose... and thinks the name "Pickett" is a joke about it. He renames our man "Peckman". He dismisses Howard with a supersonic sneeze, which leaves him in a bad way.
We shift scenes to the Gross Point Mall where Andy and Terri are... well, loitering for a bit. A lot of low-hanging "weirdness" is afoot... and it feels like we've been reading this for several hours at this point.
They head into an arcade where Andy almost plays a game of 9-Fingered Dave... which involves sticking one's hand into a hole (and probably taking it out one finger short). Thankfully (?) Terri realizes the gimmick, and we don't find out.
Their next stop is a fine eatery... okay, the food court. They eat, and they puke. After an argument (during which Terri invokes the dreaded "Scrote-Azoid" insult) they part company.
The return to their new home (separately)... and are both forced to break in (again, separately... so, now the house has two busted out points-of-entry). They run into one another inside, and nearly scare the "scrapple" out of each other.
To further that fear, they then hear that howling the robo-realtor warned them about. Then... out of nowhere, a weird little hunchbacked handyman appears. He puts together a makeshift flamethrower and heads into the basement to deal with... whatever the hell is howling.
Quick as he arrives, he vanishes... back into the cuckoo clock? Okay.
The issue (finally) ends with the twins making nice and the family moving into their new digs. Oh yeah, also with the realization that they're still in the direct beam of the lighthouse. Wonk wonk wonkkkk.
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Well, this felt endless.
Like I mentioned during the pre-ramble, this is one of those books I don't remember ever seeing on the racks. One of those oddities you discover in the bins, and you you're so surprised that you actually attempt to triangulate your fandom around where you were when this book came out. It's like, yeah... I was buying comics... so, why in the hell do I not remember this?!
Well, it doesn't seem like 17 year old Chris missed out on all that much. This was (in my opinion)... pretty weak, poorly paced, and... ultimately, I feel it overstayed its welcome. There were plenty of neat and clever little "bits" here... it's just that they were buried among just so many that missed the mark. Speedy-Mortuary equipped with a laminating machine? Clever. Big-nosed CEO? Not so much.
It's not that the trappings were bad... I'm always down for a "fish out of water" story... plopping an ordinary family into this quirky, unreal town of Gross Point... should be a slam dunk. But, it's not. I dunno, maybe it's me. None of the characters come across as all that likable... seems like if even one of 'em were, there might be something to "grab" me... give me something to root for.
The art here is pretty neat... it reminds me of that short-lived show, Mission Hill. Even a little bit like that (also, short-lived) Clerks. animated series. The art is definitely the highlight (at least for me), and is doing all of the heavy-lifting.
Overall... well, I couldn't flat-out tell ya to "avoid" this... just that I didn't much care for it.
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