Teen Titans Lost Annual #1 (2008)

Teen Titans Lost Annual #1 (March, 2008)
"President Kennedy Has Been Kidnapped!"
Writer - Bob Haney
Penciller - Jay Stephens
Inker - Mike Allred
Colorist - Laura Allred
Letterer - Gaspar Saladino
Editor - Adam Schlagman
Original Editors - Dan Raspler & Steve Wacker
Sketches - Nick Cardy
Cover Price: $4.99

Well, here's a weird one that's been lingering in my library unread for far too long... a post 2000 Bob Haney Teen Titans story!  I didn't even know they made those!

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We open with the Titans go'est-ing to the Titan's Gotham City area lair, which looks a lot like the Batcave.  They have been summoned there by Robin who has dire news... President John F. Kennedy has been kidnapped and replaced with a "cunning" shape-shifter!  I mentioned this was a (turn of the century!) Bob Haney, right?

The Titans think that their fearless leader's pulling their legs, but he insists that it's true.  He shares with them a story of visiting the President at the White House to conduct an interview for the magazine the Teen Titans were planning to publish (would love to get my hands on that!).  After Jack shares some old war stories, he and Robin retire for the evening.  Robin, lucky cat that he is gets to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. 

That night, a "strange aura" overtakes the White House... and all of the secret service men freeze.  Robin feels the weirdness, but is not affected by it, and so he decides to investigate.  What he finds is President Kennedy being apprehended by the "moddest" of aliens.  One alien stays behind and takes the form of the Prez.

Robin watched as they loaded Kennedy onto a spaceship bound for Ullustro.  The following morning he finds that the doppelganger didn't miss a beat, slipping right into the Presidential role.  He considers telling the Bat-Family... and realizes that they would have laughed at him for sharing such a wild story.  Gotta wonder why he didn't think about Superman... I have a hard time thinking he'd mock the lad.  Anyhoo, the way he sees it, the Teen Titans are the only folks who would take this seriously.  Well...

... maybe not.  Robin pleads with them to believe him, and they finally come around.  It's not like Robin has ever led them astray before.  They trust him... and his story.  They agree to join him on his recon-mission to Ullustro.  Well, all except Aqualad... ya know, somebody's gotta mind the store while the others are away!

And so, the Titans hop into the Quantum Leap accelerator (where did they get one of those?), and vanish!  In mere moments they find themselves on Ullustro, surrounded by several of those mod-aliens... all of whom are packin' heat.  Kid Flash rounds up the weapons with the quickness, but Robin advises him to give them back... this way, the mods will know they are on a mission of peace.

Robin drops to one knee and pleads his case.  He wants to know why they kidnapped the President.  To answer this question, he must be taken before... Gwynnet.  What's a Gwynnet, you ask?  Well... it's a brain in a jar, basically.  The Titans kneel before it, and it shares its story with them.  Ya see, Gwynnet was at one time the leader of the Ullustrians, and looked just as moddy as they did.  They were (and are) embroiled in a war that never ends (nor can anyone remember how it started) with the Violators... one of whom managed to get the drop on ol' Gwynn, decapitating him for great justice.

The Ullustrian scientists were able to save his brain... and hook it up to the trippy device we see before us.  The team learns that they had enlisted the aid of President Kennedy as they saw him as the only leader who might end this conflict.  Robin's like, that's all well and good... but we've got problems of our own on Earth... unfortunately, the discussion is interrupted by attacking Violators!

And, boy howdy are these Violators weird looking... I could make a comment about some of them looking like hippie-alien Terry Longs... but, I think I'll save that observation for later.  The Titans see this as an opportunity to show the Ullustrians that they are on the same side... so they launch into battle, and do pretty well for themselves.

Wonder Girl and Robin break away to try and locate Kennedy.  Double-You-Gee drops the Boy Wonder onto the spacecraft Kennedy is holed up in.  It's here that we learn President Kennedy has no memory of his former life... all he knows is the endless war between the Ullustrians and Violators.

We rejoin Wonder Girl as she enters into battle with one of the Violators.  They are evenly matched, though Donna does manage to overtake him.  Then, they kiss.  I can probably make that Terry Long joke now.  It still won't be funny... but it'll fit!  Anyhoo, the Violator introduces himself as Zora and claims that he'd seen Donna in his dreams, and expresses hope that she hasn't fallen for the Ullustrians' propaganda.  Hmm... the plot's about to thicken.

She takes Zora to the Kennedy-craft and deposits him to plead his case for calling off the war.  I don't think I've ever typed the word "plead" as much as I have today.  Unfortunately, ol' JFK ain't hearin' none of it.  He's got a job to do, and he intends to do it.  This war can only end in "total victory" for the Ullustrians.  Donna tells Zora that he is her prisoner for the moment... to which he agrees... but then, almost immediately dives out of the ship!

He dives unto Ullustro City below... and it's weird.  They refer to it as suicide... but I'm not sure if they mean he'd have gone out fighting Ullustrians... or just went splat on the pavement.  Either way, it's moot... Donna is able to swoop down and grab him by the ankle... at which time the kiss, and... get this, discuss getting married.  Ay yai yai.

This is a conversation that was overheard by a super-speed-eavesdropper, who reports back to Speedy and Robin.  I thought Robin was with Kennedy?  Maybe he has a shape-shifting doppelganger too (no, no he doesn't).  Anyhoo, Wally shares the story of Donna's apparent betrayal, just as they peep Donna and Zora fleeing the scene.

Robin ain't got time for any of the blibbuh blabbah, so he... warps back to Gotham?  That's awfully convenient, no?  He changes into his civvies and hops his motorcycle bound for Washington, D.C. where he meets the doppel-Kennedy just standing on the lawn of the White House greeting passers by.  I know a lot has changed since the early 60's... but has the President ever been this easy to just walk up to?  I mean, earlier in the issue reference was made to the Secret Service, yet here we've got none in sight!

Back in Ullustro, Kennedy is conferring with Kid Flash and Speedy.  They discuss Donna's defection, and agree to "deal with" her.  I gotta say, the way Kennedy's office/ship/whatever it is is depicted... looks super cool.  He's surrounded by these window-looking monitors... it's just really neat looking.  I'll go on more about the art later, but suffice it to say, me likey.

After the chat, Robin returns... and he brings with him... a hat?  Well, if you recall when we started this story, Robin was visiting with President Kennedy.  During that visit, Jack shared several war stories with the Boy Wonder... and this hat held a special place of honor among his wartime souvenirs.  How Robin was able to smuggle something out of the Oval Office I'll never know... but, we'll allow it.  Anyhoo, he hands the cap over to Kennedy and insists he wear it.  Kennedy, affable dude that he is, agrees.

Moments later another barrage of battle ensues.  We get some close ups of Kennedy... and it would appear that his tone has changed a little bit.  Not much... but there's something different for sure.  It's as though he's begun looking at the Violators not as beasts... but as people fighting for a purpose.

We shift over to Speedy who is locked in combat with... Wonder Girl!  He's actually sky-surfing on a big arrow... it's super cool.  He initially proves to be little threat to her... she punches his "entrapment arrow" back at him, causing him to be ensnared.  As he falls, he takes one last shot... firing his bow with his feet!  How cool is that?  Such a fun fight scene!

This last arrow had a blobby resin in it, which overtakes Donna.  As she plummets encased in goop, Zora swoops in and smashes the resin with his blade.

At this point, it's time for Robin to enact part two of his "Bring JFK back to his senses" plan.  He boards a nearby spacecraft... which is conveniently empty... and proceeds to crash it into Kennedy's... repeatedly.  This is a reenactment of an event from Kennedy's time in war... and Robin is hopeful this might jog his memory.

And, whattayaknow... it does!  Kennedy pulls himself from the wreckage of the ship (just how hard was Robin colliding into it anyway?) and commands that the Ullustrians stand down.  He wants to initiate peace talks... immediately!  Thanks to Robin's plan, Kennedy remembers who he truly is.

After some peace-chatter and thank you's, Wonder Girl returns to the team... revealing that Zora told her she'd make a wonderful wife... number four!  Whoops.

After getting the peace-ball rolling, the Titans and Kennedy warp back to the Titans-cave.  We're gonna guess that we're in... I dunno, November, 1963.  Upon arrival, Aqualad shares with them some news most dire... while they were gone, you guessed it... President Kennedy was assassinated!  Dang, they went there didn't they?  Not missing a beat, Kennedy asks the Titans to send him back to Ullustro!  He figures that it would cause too much of a panic if he were to return... he's probably right, though, you'd figure he'd at least wanna let his family know he's okay.

Our terrific tale ends with JFK fighting the good fight alongside some aliens... gotta wonder if he's still out there somewhere...

--

Well, that was weird as all hell.

I really wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this... but it sure as hell wasn't a story about President John F. Kennedy.  I guess the little "Presidential Guest-Star" blurb on the cover might've tipped me off... but whattayagonnado?

I really wasn't sure about the origins of this issue... I thought for a minute this was written by "Bob Haney", as in somebody affected his zany style for the gestalt of the project.  Turns out this li'l story has quite the tumultuous backstory.  According to Titans Tower dot com, this story began life as a graphic novel called the Teen Titans Swingin' Elseworlds Special... and was supposed to be released in 2003... and was actually written by Bob Haney... and it was shelved for half a decade, unfortunately coming out after Mr. Haney's passing in 2004.

With that out of the way, let's get into the story... and, man what a story it was.  I'm not going to think too hard on any political commentary that might have been in play here... because, honestly, I'm not sure there was any!  Warring factions who'd forgotten what they were even fighting for goes back millennia... so, it's possible it was just written as the trope that it is.

I can't say I was surprised to learn the Ullustrians weren't quite on the up and up... any aliens with those haircuts can't be all good.  It was also no surprise that the Violators weren't really the bad guys... they just looked like primal hippies... which I suppose might be enough for some folks.

It's hard to look at a story like this critically, because it is so whacked out.  I mean, I can go on about Robin hanging out at the White House... why he didn't try and tell Superman about the Kennedy abduction... how he was able to steal the President's cap from the Oval Office... but, really... why?  This was a fun story that doesn't rely on overthinking things.  Being the jaded post-Crisis heathen that I am, I can't help myself... but, really, this is just a story to take in and be entertained by.  By the way, I see no Elseworlds in the title... so, I'm taking this one as gospel.  The DC Universe JFK is most assuredly in space fighting alongside aliens, even as I type this.

As crazy as this story got, I gotta say... I was taken aback when they referred to that day in Dallas.  I mean, it facilitates a happier ending... but really didn't think they'd "go there"... boy, I hate it that I just typed "go there"... twice.

The only bit of the story that didn't quite work for me was the weird Donna Troy romance.  I suppose it took her off the table for the Ullustrians... and facilitated some fun fight scenes, but overall... it just came off as forced, weird, and kinda gross.  I guess Terry Long isn't the bottom of Donna's barrel after all!

The art here... super cool.  Jay Stephens has an awesome neo-retro style, and paired with the Allreds, it's just amazing.  Everything is super colorful and really pops off the page.  There's a sorta Darwyn Cooke'ness to it... it's really a perfect blend of Cooke and Allred, and suits this story brilliantly.

Overall... amazingly fun (and far-out) book here.  While this issue isn't available digitally on it's own... it is available as part of the Teen Titans 100-Page Spectacular (October, 2011) which is!  I'd say this is definitely one fans of the early Titans (and Bob Haney) ought to check out.

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Sketchbook:

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Justice Society of America (vol.3) #2 (2007)

Justice Society of America (vol.3) #2 (March, 2007)

"The Next Age, Chapter 2"

Writer - Geoff Johns

Penciller - Dale Eaglesham (with Alex Ross)

Inker - Ruy Jose

Letterer - Rob Leigh

Colorist - Jeremy Cox

Assistant Editor - Adam Schlagman

Editor - Eddie Berganza

Cover Price: $2.99

Can't seem to shake this Justice Society itch. I suppose there are worst fates...

--

Before picking up where we left off, we observe a man pouring himself a handful of Oxycodone.  He is Nathan Heywood... of the "Steel" family of Heywoods.  His grandfather was Henry Heywood, the original Commander Steel who did his thing during World War II (and alongside the All-Star Squadron), and his cousin was Hank Heywood... the Commander Steel who was part of the Justice League Detroit.  Nathan was also a hero to the family, but his accomplishments occurred on the football field... that is, until he messed up his knee to the point he would require an amputation.

Back in Brooklyn, we see a... hmm, well, it's not touching, but it's a father and son reunion (can we call it a reunion if they're only meeting for the first time?).  Wildcat is surprised that young Tommy is not surprised to hear that he's his pop.  Ya see, Tommy's known all along.  Alan and Jay are alerted by an alarm from the brownstone... it would appear as though the skylight has been breached... by a fella they had their eye on.

We remember our other cliffhanger, right?  Mr. America crashed through the skylight and landed right on the JSA conference table.  It's here we see just how hard he landed... the detail here is amazing.  We can see droplets of blood and tiny shards of glass everywhere... even on some of the other Society members.  I suppose we can deduce that Mr. America was a potential new recruit for this new look-JSA.

Damage makes some insensitive, but not completely out of line comments about Mr. America's arsenal and costume... "all he's got is a domino mask and a whip".  Yeah, he's got a point... but now's probably not the time.  Suddenly, everything starts going wonky... everything (and everyone) begins to float.  Turns out the schizo-Starman isn't handling this all that well, and his gravity powers begin overwhelming him.  He is also haunted by memories of murder... Kenz Nuhor... a vote that didn't go in his favor (hmm...).  It's funny, all Dr. Mid-Nite can say is that he's "contaminating a crime scene".  Power Girl helps him get things under control... and once the dust (and everything else) settles, Starman states that there's a Lightning Storm on the horizon.

We rejoin Ted and Tommy in the latter's apartment.  We learn that his mother's name was Marilyn Bronson, and she passed away from Cancer the year prior.  It's clear that she was just a one-night-stand for ol' Ted... something that Tom doesn't hold against him.  While he harbors no ill will, he isn't interested in pursuing an actual father-son relationship.  In a cute bit, he claims he won't follow Ted's footsteps into costumed crimefighting... and says the last time he got into a fight was the eighth grade... not missing a beat, Ted asks if he "won".  Tommy replies, with a smirk, that he didn't.

Back at the brownstone, Stargirl and Maxine have pulled away from the group.  Maxine is having a difficult time processing what she had just seen.  Hell, she was up close and personal with the event, she had bits of the poor guy's blood spattered on her!  Courtney does her best to comfort her, revealing that on her "first day" Wesley Dodds was murdered.  She leads Maxine into, er, the Justice Society's sewing room so they can design her a costume.

Elsewhere, Dr. Mid-Nite is preparing to perform an autopsy on Mr. America.  He mentions that he can "see" an object lodged in the poor fella's chest with his infrared vision.  The trio lament the fact that, in light of the Thompson family tree being hacked to pieces on this day, Mr. America's bloodline has been wiped out.

We meet up with Nate Heywood as he arrives at the latest Heywood family barbecue.  He is hit in the back with an errant football, which drops him to a knee.  His... cousin, nephew, brother... some kid named Kirk runs over to check on him.  They have a sorta contentious chat, Nate really doesn't feel up to seeing the fam.  Suddenly, Hawkman bursts into the scene doing battle with the Fourth Reich!  Kirk gets tapped by Reichsmark... which turns him into a metallic statue!

We learn that the Reich is working under the orders of a mysterious "benefactor".  It would appear as though they're here to chop down another superhero family tree!

Back at the Brownstone, Starman is wracking his brain scribbling away on a chalkboard while Power Girl and Mr. Terrific try to make sense of everything that's been going down.  Starman mentions that the Great Disaster is coming.  He continues his calculations... parallel universes... maybe he's from the future... maybe he's from somewhere else altogether... maybe it's both... maybe it's neither... all he knows for sure is that he had been trapped someplace that was "blown to Kingdom Come"!

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Yeah, I've said it before but... I love this series.

We comics enthusiasts often refer to stories/runs/issues as being "love letters" to such-and-such era/creator/character... and as much as I hate being cliche, this is totally a love letter to just about everything All-Star.  Reading something like this makes it so difficult for me to wrap my head around the idea that Geoff Johns was completely "on board" for the universal toilet flush that was The New-52!.  He seems to do his best work when he is covered with a continuity-quilt.  This is where he seems the most passionate.  Even if, from time to time, he adds wrinkles I don't necessarily agree with or appreciate, he almost always makes things "fit" and feel like they matter... and belong.

We've got some stuff to unpack here... let's start with the "benefactor".  I'm sure a lotta folks reading might already know who's behind this... but I won't say it outright.  I think their approach here is really interesting, hiring baddies out to methodically chop down superhero family trees.  Seems so sinister, while at the same time... so simple!  I will say that it was really cool to see Hawkman wrecking some fools too!

The Heywood deal was interesting... a former football star (and family hero) having lost his leg, and apparently hooked on pain-killers opens up some story options.  Plus it's another dude who is angry and bitter toward the world... which often leads to nice stories of overcoming obstacles and whatnot.  Commander Steel was never a favorite of mine (not that I disliked him either), but I'm still interested.

Ted and Tom's scenes were... not at all what I was expecting.  Perhaps it's due to my having watched Days of Our Lives for the better part of twenty years, but I'm used to "secret offspring" stories being far less subtle than this.  It's either the kid turns up being spitefully evil... or, totally loving... but, secretly spitefully evil and just waiting for the perfect time to lash out.  Tommy here just seems cool with everything.  He's not aggressively off-put by Ted's visit, while at the same time isn't really keen on forging any bonds.  Their chat didn't feel contentious in the slightest... just tinged with discomfort, which feels like the most human reaction to such a situation.

The brownstoners... Damage being a jerk about Mr. America's gear fits the character.  He's angry at the world... and when you're in such a state, sarcasm and pithy commentary are pretty much your "go-to's" (trust me).  Maxine and Courtney's little scene was nice.  I remember the first time I read this I was so impressed that they'd turned newbie-POV character Stargirl into a bonafide veteran.  Here she was comforting this volume's fish out of water newbie.  What's not to like about that?

It feels like in any other book the Starman bits would be the runaway highlight... but in a book this packed, it's just yet another excellent and engaging scene.  I love him having memories pop into his head... referencing the death of Kenz... being voted out of the Legion.  I might love it more that I actually have the context, which I am well over 100% certain I did not have the first time around.  The mysteries just keep piling on, even referring to...

... Hey, Kingdom Come being pulled into the mainstream DC Universe!  Howsabout that?  When the initial shock of DC Universe Rebirth wore off, and we knew that the Watchmen mythos was on its way to the mainstream DCU, this was the story that popped into my head as the last time I'd experienced something like that.  I'll lay it out, I wasn't the biggest fan of Kingdom Come (to be fair, I only read it the once... and it was forever ago), buuuut, being a lore guy, I love it anytime we're told in no uncertain terms that "this matters" or "this happened".

Overall... should go without saying, but this is whole-heartedly recommended.  If you're a fan of DC Comics history, I think you're going to love this... and get a lot out of this.  It is, of course, available digitally.  Well worth your couple'a bucks.

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Action Comics #419 (1972)

Action Comics #419 (December, 1972)
"The Most Dangerous Man on Earth!"
"The Assassin-Express Contract!"
Writers - Cary Bates & Len Wein
Pencillers - Curt Swan & Carmine Infantino
Inkers - Murphy Anderson & Dick Giordano
Technical Assistance - Pete Simmons
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.20

Here's another from the "covers I want blown up to hang on my wall" collection!

Can the stories inside even hope to be worthy of such an amazing cover?  Let's find out.

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We open with Clark Kent... in space!  He's on the job for WGBS, reporting on the LST (that's large space telescope, if you're nasty).  Seems like a hell of a trip just to report a news story, but we'll allow it.  The jist of it is, the LST is being placed in fixed orbit above Metropolis... may as well call it Chekhov's Telescope.  I gotta wonder why WGBS never tried to hire Superman as a foreign/interplanetary correspondent... the whole world trusts him, and think of the money they can save on jet fuel!  Anyhoo, at that same time, we meet the two-bit crook (and from the looks of it, hobo) Moe Malloy as he fishes in (the stinkin') Metropolis River.  What he finds is... a pair of irradiated cleats and a glowing gun.  Go figure!  He slips on his new shoes and aims the gun before blasting the Metropolis Electric Company building.  They don't mention the lights going out anywhere during this story... so, we'll assume the damage was cosmetic only.

Across town at Metropolis' own NASA space-port, Clark and the Colonel touch down.  No sooner do CK's feet touch the ground than the field is overtaken by glowing bubbles... that pop with the force of grenades!  Clark convinces the Colonel to load him into the gantry lift... which, might be the unsafest thing in the world at this point... so he can change clothes.  In an interesting bit, he "starches" his civvies with his super-breath to make it appear (from the ground, at least) that Clark is still there.

Now properly attired, Superman swoops down to save the space-port.  One popping bomb-bubble causes a missile to ignite... which begs the question, what in the hell is a live missile doing out in the open?  I mean, Metropolis is a big city, right?  That can't be a good idea.  He also manages to save a multi-million-dollar experimental craft.  Funny thing here is... while Superman is off the ground, the bomb-bubbles are gone!

After "saving" Clark Kent, Superman flies outta sight to test a theory.  Wouldn'tcha know it... every time he touches down, the bubbles return.  He realizes now that until he can get to the bottom of this, he's stuck being airborne... even when he's Clark Kent!

The following morning we rejoin Moe Malloy... as he robs the Metro Savings Bank with his weird-o ray gun.  Like, it literally disintegrates a wall of the building... so, the bankers inside know ol' Moe means business.  He vaporizes a police car on the way out for good measure.

Now for something completely different... Clark Kent trying on clothes!  A zoot suit, if we're being specific.  What's a zoot suit?  Well, Julius Schwartz is glad you asked, because (I'm assuming) he wrote a handy-dandy editorial note revealing the secret origin of the outfit.  It has something to do with jittery bugs, or something... which is probably what happens when a fly lands in your coffee.  Anyhoo, Clark's lookin' snappy... and is still in hover mode, by the grace of the constant stream of compressed air he's blowing out his nose.  That could get ugly real quick if he's not careful!

Back with Malloy as he plans his next heist.  He learns that an amateur astronomer named Vincent Appleton has been hoarding "priceless" space rocks... and so, ol' Moe's gonna pay him a visit!  By the way, the astronomer lives at 344 Clinton Street... which sounds familiar, don't it?

Malloy pistol-whips the poor stargazer and sets about using his glow-gun to shoot the lock off the box'a rocks.  In so doing, he also shoots through the floor to the apartment below... which just so happens to be Apartment 3-D... where Clark Kent is sorta-kinda lounging while trying to enjoy a tall glass of water... or milk... I dunno, it changes colors.

And so, it's not long before Superman is on the job.  He immediately notices the glowing green cleats and gun... and we learn that they are (thankfully) not Kryptonite-infused.  He uses his super-breath to push Malloy back... and into the air... where his gun sorta just fizzles out.  Superman deduces that Malloy must be "grounded" in order to use his glow-gun... as the cleats are drawing "some fantastic energy" out of the Earth.  And so, he hangs ol' Moe out to dry.

While helping Appleton to his feet, Superman realizes that all of his bubble-bomb troubles are due to the Earth changing... not himself!  He flies up to the fixed orbital telescope and checks the lens.  It looks as though the unit passed through a cloud of cosmic dust... which, somehow caused a that mysterious energy o'er Metropolis.  Oof.  Anyhoo, he cleans the lens and returns home in time to cut a rug with lady Lois.

Out back-up feature begins with Christopher Chance being just the coolest guy ever.  Think James Bond if he were on a regimen of GNC shark cartilage pills.  He's drinking a glass of Mouton Rothschild... which I'm assuming is impressive, I don't drink.  It gets shot out of his hand... so, he nonchalantly fires back... killing his would be assassin, before pouring himself another glass.  I mean, the story could end right here and I'd be perfectly satisfied.

But alas, that's just our introduction page.  The story proper begins while... good God, Chance is practicing his knife-throwing.  I swear, they're about three panels away from bringing in an alligator for him to wrestle!  Anyhoo, he is visited upon by a man named Smithers who has a job for him.  He got mixed up with some bad dudes while on his way to the top of the corporate ladder.  T.C. Newman is the President of Horizon Chemical... a position (I assume) he wants for himself.  He arranged with these baddies for Newman to take a fall... which they took to mean, ya know... offed, so rather than sending a spy to trail him... they sent a hitman.  According to Smithers, that was never his intention.  Yeah, likely story, pal.

Chance considers the offer... and ultimately decides to take the contract.  We see a bit of his "method" here, as he checks out the most recent picture of Newman... noting that he's wearing an eye patch, to ensure his disguise is spot-on.

Next we see Chance, he has become a new man... er, become Newman, that is... T.C. Newman.  He's decked out in some dazzling duds while boarding a train.  After tripping and nearly breaking his neck, he is directed to his berth.  This is a cool scene because it shows how deeply he is paying attention to his surroundings... while neglecting his own two feet, or... so it would appear, you'll notice his hand went right into the train's emergency brake mechanism... more on that in a bit.

While on board, a man with his right arm in a cast enters Chance's berth unannounced.  Our man gets the drop on him and cinches in a hammerlock.  The fella swears he just entered the wrong berth.  This allows us to see more of the Chance method... he judges the man's face and eyes... and deduces he is telling the truth.  And so, he lets him go.

Time passes, and Chance is joined by the conductor he almost tripped over while boarding.  They share an awkward apology session... and some light chatter.  Chance asks when the next stop will be, to which the conductor says 5:47.  Chance notes that the conductor didn't peer at his pocket watch like he did the last time somebody asked him about stops (scroll up two images to see!)... and he gets a sneaking suspicion that something's about to go down!

Chance ransacks the berth until he procures the pocket watch... which, at this point, is ticking loudly.  He busts out a window with his briefcase and tosses the watch before it goes BLAM!

Looks like the "conductor" is really our hitman!  Chase gives chance... er, Chance gives chase, that is... and when he has the baddie cornered, presses a button on his watch, which triggers the emergency brake... and sends the hitman a'flyin!  I'm picturing the sound Goofy would make in an old cartoon while trying to ski... but instead, falling into a bottomless pit.

After ahem, "scraping up" the hitman, the train arrives at the station.  Chance is met by Smithers who is pleased to see him, but is wondering where Newman is.  Well, ya see, real-Newman is standing right there... in a different disguise, in fact... he's who our man tripped over to set up the train-brake scenario.  Smithers is fired for being a jerk-ass, and we are out.

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That didn't quite go the way I was expecting it to.  I had assumed going in that I was really going to dig the Superman story and just tolerate the Human Target... and it was the complete opposite!  The Superman story was just sorta "there" while I found myself really enjoying Human Target!

I've tried getting into the Human Target every now and again... I believe his last couple of launches came out through Vertigo, and I'm mentally-associating Peter Milligan with like all of them... maybe he wrote one, I don't recall.  All I know is that it never really captured me, and I'm pretty sure I never went back for a second issue.  This short story here was more engrossing to me than any of the Vertigo stuff.

Let's stick with Human Target for a bit.  I swear, that introduction just oozed stereotypical masculinity... to the point where if it had been written today, it would immediately be dismissed as parody.  I really thought he'd be wrestling alligators before retiring to a bed-full of beauties before this was all said and done.  Let's not get it twisted, I thought he was cool... but, this might've veered a bit into the realm of cartoon-silly.

The Target story, while I really dug it, left me with a few questions.  When Chance boarded the train and "tripped" our narrative caption made it seem like it was an accident.  We later learn it was all part of the plan... but why would he hide the plan from "us"?  Like, the narrative bits are his own thoughts... why would he lie in his own thoughts?  He doesn't know we're reading them!  It kinda took away from the story, because I had assumed that he was just so focused on his surroundings that he kinda lost himself in them... and goofed!

Also, the ending was a bit outta nowhere.  The real Newman (which, ya gotta figure is a play on "new man" for this Human Target introductory adventure, right?), is also on board... but disguised as another fella.  Smithers should know that, right?  I mean, he knew Newman was going to be on the train, surely there wasn't going to be real Newman and Chance-as-Newman on board at the same time, right?  And, wasn't the point of this to keep Newman safe?  Of course he's going to be disguised!  Not sure why Newman waited until he arrived to fire Smithers either.  Oh well... only so much you can do with the pages afforded by an Action-Plus backup.

Now, the opener... it was, ya know, okay.  Nothing I feel I'd need to read again... and definitely a bit of a downer when you consider the amazing cover this issue has... but not so bad that I'd advise against reading it.  It's all very convenient... which seems to just be "the way the sausage is made" for Silver/Bronze-Age Superman, so it's not something I can really hold against it.  It was neat to see Clark doing everything he can to keep hovering... and it was silly seeing him jitterbugging.

Overall... I can't say not to grab this one.  The cover makes the entire thing worthwhile... and the Human Target ain't nothin' to scoff at.  Despite my gripes, that was some engaging, quality storytelling.  The Superman story, I can take or leave... it really just comes across as filler.  It doesn't look like this one has been made available digitally just yet.  If you're looking for just the Human Target story, it was reprinted in Best of DC Digest #30 (1982).

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