Superman for the Animals #1 (2000)
"Dear Superman..."
Writer - Mark Millar
Penciller - Tom Grummett
Inker - Dick Giordano
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Separator - Digital Chameleon
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Creative Consultant - Richard DeAngelis
Alrighty, gather 'round... we're about to learn us a thing or two about how we ought to treat animals. That's right... it's time for another PSA!
--
The issue opens with a few unfortunate folks penning letters to Superman... these missives are all quite serious, missing children, disabled veteran, war zones... but on this night, Superman is moved more by a letter by a 12 year old boy named Tommy Delaney. Lois tries to drag her hubby to bed, but he informs her that it's a "work night"... and continues to read.
Tommy Delaney's father had his job transfer him to the generic suburb of Springdale, meaning that Tommy would have to change schools. Well, nobody likes that... and young Tommy is no exception. On his first day of class he's paired up with a "tough" kid who looks like he shops at the Army surplus called Ballser.
He almost immediately falls in with Ballser's boys, including such luminaries as Charlie, "Donuts", and "Eightball". I know I'm impressed! Anyhoo, as they leave the school, Ballser complains about their teacher's pet squirrel (he's nursing it back to health), and to punctuate his point... he chases some birds! The first lesson of this PSA: don't be a bird around Ballser.
We jump ahead to the geeks hanging out at the Delaney house playing video games. Ballser grows bored, and decides to shake things up by introducing a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest... and the contestants will be, Tommy... and Tommy's goldfish. This kid is twisted!
We advance a bit further to the geeks hanging out by the nearby junkyard. Ballser has "borrowed" his father's rifle... so, yeah... this is about to escalate pretty quickly. Anyhoo, Ballser hands the piece over to Donuts so he can get revenge on the yard's guard dog. The geeks hide in the nearby brush to get in position for their shot... and, get this... they actually shoot the damn dog! Jeez. They then run... because they're stupid, cowardly kids.
Later that afternoon, Jeb the junk man returns home. He lives right next door to the Delaneys... and we now learn that the bullet destroyed his poor dog's leg, and it had to be amputated! We also learn that there has been a rash of animal attacks in the neighborhood of late. I wonder who might be behind them!
Tommy considers turning Ballser (and himself) in, but chickens out. We shift a bit later on, where Ballser coaxes a cat into a cardboard box. The other geeks wonder what he's going to do with it... even suggesting they drown it. What is wrong with these kids? Ballser says he's got a better idea, and leads the losers to an expressway overpass. He bellies up to the guardrail, and... tosses the cat into rush hour traffic!
Only, the cat never lands. Ya see, Superman just happened to be in town. He catches the cat, and without saying a word, leaves with it. Ballser calls him a "Boy Scout". Yeah, real original, pal.
It turns out that Superman was in town due to there being a fire at a nearby chemical plant. Superman saves the day, and in particular, saves Tommy's father at the plant.
Some time later, at the school... Tommy heads into class, only to find the geeks stopping up the sink to flood the classroom. Upon closer inspection, we see the teacher's rescued squirrel is being drowned in the deluge!
The teacher arrives, causing the kids to flee... which, next to abusing animals, is what they do best. He pulls the squirrel cage out of the wash, however, it's too late.
We rejoin the kids at Ballser's house, where he is having a grand old time. He really showed that squirrel, didn't he? By this point, Tommy has decided that he's had quite enough of Baller's crap. A slap-fight ensues, during which Ballser throws a suitcase at Tommy... which opens, revealing dozens of pet collars! Looks like we just found out who was behind the local animal cruelty... as if there was ever any doubt.
Tommy, Donuts, Charlie, and... the other one... (duh, Eightball) all decide it's time to turn their young lives around. The first step is coming clean about all of their bad behavior... followed by some self-imposed penance volunteering at the animal shelter. Everything's looking up for the geeks, they've even made new friends (including g-g-g-girls!).
The issue wraps up with Tommy putting the finishing touches on his letter to Superman. To show how much he's changed, he's shown with a cat on his lap. Some time later, Superman meets with Tommy to say that's he's proud of him. He's not buyin' it... and I ain't either.
--
Okay, let's start at the beginning. I think many comic fans know that Mark Millar can "go into business for himself" when writing a story. In the opening page we see letters written by victims of some pretty hardcore circumstances. I mean, missing children... frickin' warzones... crazy stuff. And yet... Superman decides to give his full attention to a letter about a neighborhood nogoodnik with a penchant for mistreating pets. I gotta wonder if that was some "biting" commentary by Millar illustrating that, in the grand scheme of things, there are things in this world far worse than a pre-teen sociopath collecting collars.
I figure it's a big world, and there's enough room to worry about all sorts of things, but maybe Millar would rather not be hamstrung writing an animal cruelty PSA. I'm almost certainly projecting here... but, dude's got a track record of not playing the ball where it lay. Or doing so, with an eyebrow raised.
Now for the actual story... I feel it's a bit misguided. Sure, Ballser did some terrible things to animals... however, if we were to look at this clinically, it's somewhat unlikely that harming animals was his "goal". Harming animals, or exerting dominance over powerless critters is usually a sign of potentially severe underlying issues, including antisocial personality disorder, psychopathy, sociopathy... what I'm saying here is this is more a mental health pamphlet (or perhaps a peer pressure pamphlet) than a "Hey, be cool to animals" one.
I suppose, like other Public Service Announcement type books we've discussed here... it could have been far worse. I gotta say, I was quite pleasantly surprised to see Tom Grummett's name in the credits. I wouldn't have guessed they'd use an A-Lister for a giveaway like this... but, I'm glad they did. I just adore that page of Superman surrounded by letters... it feels "real", making this PSA also feel "real", rather than just occurring in a vacuum... somewhere, at sometime.
Overall... I'd say this is worth checking out. It's a bit over the top in places, and Superman is hardly the "star", but there's novelty value to be had here, as well as great art.
--
Coloring Contest!
--
Interesting Ads:
DC Comics Presents #71 (July, 1984)
"The Mark of Bizarro!"
Writer - E. Nelson Bridwell
Penciller - Curt Swan
Inker - Dave Hunt
Letterer - Ben Oda
Colorist - Gene D'Angelo
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.75
Superman and Bizarro?! Me am not interested. Please don't enjoy!
--
We open on Bizarro Earth where Bizarro Number One has just beaten up the Bizarro Justice League... and in only one sentence I have a pretty good idea how many times I'm about to type "Bizarro"... I'll try and rein it in. Anyhoo, from here we get some expositional chatter to fill us in on what Bizarro World is all about... which is followed by a bored Bizarro Number One creating a new "arch-villain" for the B-League... Bizarro-Amazo!
This Amazo proves to be different from the original by stealing super-powers from the Bizarro-Heroes and giving them to the unpowered. Kind of like a Bizarro Robin Hood. He starts by giving Bizarro-Aquaman's powers to the cowardly and powerless Yellow Lantern.
He bursts through the wall of the Bizarro-League's "satellite", which is naturally, a submarine. He continues his path of power-sharing by giving Bizarro-Lois Lane some superpowers.
This gives Bizarro Number One an idea. He decides to change into his Clark Kent duds, so Amazo will again endow him with superpowers... and it works! Amazo is pretty ticked by the subterfuge, and decides to fly to non-Bizarro Earth where there is only one Superman he can take the powers of. Number One gives chase.
We now shift to the "real" world, where it's business as usual at the Daily Planet. Jimmy's being annoying... Perry's being annoy-ed, and Lois tries to keep the peace. We learn that Superman and his long-time childhood friend Clark Kent are in Smallville dealing with a broken bridge. Jimmy is told to keep an eye out for Clark's return, which leads to him immediately finding... Bizarro Clark Kent! This totally proves to Jimmy that the real Clark Kent couldn't possibly be Superman. O-kayyy.
Number One explains the situation to Jimmy, who in turn alerts the real steel deal via signal watch. Moments later, Superman arrives and is filled in on the Amazo threat. To further punctuate the potential of the power-thief, Jimmy is suddenly endowed with great power (though the jury's still out on if they came with "great responsibility").
At the same time, Morgan Edge is given super strength, and Lana Lang (who is in her annoying "luv" phase) appears to have gained a bit of telekinesis.
Superman, Number One and Jimmy find Bizarro-Amazo flying over Metropolis, and decide to engage. Well, Jimmy's told to hang back, but the "Supers" look to pounce. They are both easily swatted away by Amazo... knocked through a nearby building. They then redouble their efforts... which also proves to be rather futile.
The blue and red clad pair fall back and hide behind a cluster of clouds. Superman knows they cannot beat Amazo head on, and will need to trick him. Before you can say "plot convenience" Superman has devised a plan! The first step of which includes hurling a(n abandoned) building toward the baddie. The pair immediately follow the throw with some super-speed shenanigans to make it appear as though Bizarro-Amazo might have lost a step.
Superman then goads Amazo into taking a swing at him. As the punch is about to make contact, he uses his super-breath to halt it. This makes it appear as though Amazo's punches no longer have any "oomph".
The third step is especially odd. As Number One starts punching Amazo, Superman uses his heat vision to hit Amazo's sensory centers to make it feel as though it's experiencing extreme pain. I mean, why not just start with that? Anyhoo, this convinces Bizarro-Amazo that by giving powers to civilians, his own powers have become weakened.
Bizarro-Amazo learns the error of his its ways, and proceeds to depower all the folks he had just moments earlier empowered. This includes Jimmy Olsen, who is flying right next to him. Fortunately (?) Superman is able to save the lad before he becomes an irritating pile of street pizza.
Bizarro-Amazo then heads back to the cubic Bizarro-Earth, where he makes everything right (wrong?) at least as it pertains to powers. He does refuse to depower Yellow Lantern, however... which vexes the faux-Jordan immensely.
Bizarro-Amazo proclaims himself to be the greatest villain in the history of Bizarro-Earth. Number One tells him that the biggest villains, Lex Luthor and the Joker have no superpowers... and so, Amazo decides to one-up them by... putting himself into suspended animation. Cute.
--
Now... I like the Bizarro concept. Think it's a fun little diversion every now and again, and one that sometimes brings a real feeling of danger. I mean, it's a broken backwards version of Superman, what's not to like? With that said... an entire issue of "Me am" dialogue? That's a bit rough.
I got about four pages into this... and had to kinda push the rest of the way through it. It wasn't a bad issue by any stretch... I just felt like the gimmick wore itself out pretty early. I don't think I'd ever be able to read more than one Bizarro story in a row.
The way Superman outsmarted the Bizarro-Amazo was pretty creative... though, as I mentioned above, if you could access his sensory centers... why wouldn't you just lead with that? I mean, even if you're not inflicting "real" pain or damage... the feeling of pain might just be enough to take down a threat. I suppose he had to make sure Amazo would make things right, power-wise... so fooling him might be more advantageous. I don't see Superman "torturing" Amazo into doing what's right.
The cover is pretty striking... and lets us all know that sticking the Joker on a cover regardless of how involved he is with the story within has always been a "thing". I'd be lying if I said that didn't get my attention... so, I guess I'm part of the problem!
Overall, if you're a fan of Bizarro... and can deal with "Me am" dialogue for 22 pages, you'll probably dig this. The art is great, and we get a whole slew of Bizarro cameos.
--
Letters Page:
--
Interesting Ads:
Action Comics #979 (July, 2017)
"Revenge, Part One"
Writer - Dan Jurgens
Artist - Patch Zircher
Color - Hi-Fi
Letters - Rob Leigh
Associate Editor - Paul Kaminski
Editor - Mike Cotton
Group Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.99
I understand that complaining about something like having a big reveal spoiled on the cover is kinda like shouting into the wind in 2017, but, c'mon... the Cyborg Superman reveal was kind of a big deal to some of us "old timers" who weren't quite sure whether or not this version was still a "thing" post-Rebirth.
Oh well... let's get to it. Oh, by the way... Hank Henshaw is still Cyborg Superman... just so we're clear.
--
We open with Mongul totally wrecking Superman all around Metropolis, to the point where the Man of Steel is actually begging him for mercy! How did this happen? Did we miss an issue? In fact, no we did not... this is just the result of Mongul having a Black Mercy flower attached to him! Folks may know that from the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons story, For the Man Who Has Everything... though, a helpful footnote reveals that this was also part of the opening arc of Trinity (which I never got around to finishing!).
Meanwhile, Lois and Clark are taking a look at their new apartment in Metropolis. I'm not sure if their big move is a result of the recent events of the Superman (vol.4) book, or if it was just time for them to make a change. Either way, they appear happy to be home.
We shift scenes to Superman's Himalayan Hideout where Mongul, the Eradicator, and Blanque are combing through the wreckage in search of... the Oblivion Stone! They eventually find it, however, also find themselves confronted by Fortress inhabitants Dratania and Klon.
Back in Metropolis, Lois and Clark sign their lives away for their new apartment and consider how they might introduce the idea of moving to young Jonathan. The conversation doesn't get very far, as Clark is alerted to the goings-on in the Himalayas... and so, faster than a speeding bullet, he splits.
He arrives at the ruins, and receives a static-y status update from Kelex. The Oblivion Stone has been taken... by Blanque. He continues through the wreckage, only to find the bodies of Klon and Dratania. Kelex reveals that Blanque wasn't working alone, and informs Superman that he was flanked by the Eradicator and Mongul. Superman swears vengeance.
Meanwhile on the Moon, Blanque and company arrive... and Mongul is none too pleased with the idea of handing over the Oblivion Stone to Hank Henshaw. Things become heated, and before we know it, a fight is on. It's at this point that Henshaw strips himself of his human trappings and garb, revealing himself to be... Cyborg Superman! If only that wasn't spoiled on the cover.
At this point in reading, memories of Green Lantern (vol.3) #46 and the fall of Coast City during The Reign of the Supermen came flooding back. Mongul and Cyborg Superman are no strangers to one another. Moments later, I read something similar coming out of the Eradicator's mouth. So happy to have some more of the old continuity back!
The issue wraps up with Cyborg Superman overpowering Mongul, forcing him to his knees so he might kiss his hand. During which, Cyborg Superman reveals their recruitment mission isn't done yet... next stop *Zzzzz* er, I mean, Zod!
--
It isn't often that I write a preamble that mentions all my misgivings with a particular book. Honestly, the only problem I have with this issue is the fact that Cyborg Superman appears on the cover. Even though I'd say there was very little doubt that Henshaw would ultimately be revealed to still be the Cyborg, I really think that reveal should have occurred on the inside.
Otherwise, I dug the hell out of this. It feels like with every issue I'm getting another piece of my childhood back. That's probably the wrong reason to like something, but... whattayagonnado, right? There are so few contemporary things in this hobby that make me happy anymore, so when something does... I just gotta hold on to it.
The story we get here is a great opening chapter that uses subplots from previous issues. It feels like Jurgens is using that old, pre-"written for the trade" comics storytelling structure... and, it just feels like home. I just love that we're getting story arcs of varying length, with "connective tissue" in subplots. It's such a striking and welcome change from "every six issues is a new 'movie', pal!" Just couldn't be happier with this series.
Should I mention the art? Probably oughta, right? Well... damn, this was a very pretty book! I remember first experiencing Zircher's art around the turn of the century on Marvel's Thunderbolts, and I thought he was great back then. Somehow, he has managed to become so much better! He did such an amazing job here... and I notice there's no inker credited, so I gotta figure he pencilled and inked this book. Dang.
Well, if I haven't gushed enough... I'll say it again, the Superman titles have been my tippity-top Rebirth books. This really feels like Superman-done-right. So glad that Dan Jurgens is steering this ship toward 1,000 (and hopefully beyond... and by beyond, I don't mean Action Comics Volume 3 #1). If you grew up in the 80's or 90's and miss that Superman... I think you're safe to come "home".
--
Interesting Ads:
