Adventures of Superman #487 (1992)

Adventures of Superman #487 (February, 1992)
"Christmas in Suicide Slumberland"
Writer - Jerry Ordway
Penciller - Tom Grummett
Inker - Doug Hazlewood
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Letterer - Albert De Guzman
Assistant Editor - Dan Thorsland
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $1.00

Yesterday we discussed the lead up to Superman's 1991 Christmas, today we're going to read about the big day itself.  Come with me, back to the days of the "Never-Ending Battle" triangle numbering system... and let's check out the chapter immediately following Superman (vol.2) #64.

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We open on a United States Senator and his wife putting some gifts under the Christmas Tree.  Their chatter is interrupted by a knocking at the door.  Senator Caldwell answers, and is surprised to be receiving a Christmas gift from "the President".  Hey, well that's pretty cool and definitely not a bomb-in-a-box, right?  Nah, it's a bomb.

We scoot over to the Ace of Clubs where Bibbo is dressing up in his Sandy Claws... er, Santa Claus togs.  His current roommate, Jimmy Olsen is also there, dressed like an elf.  Bibbowski heads out to meet his adoring public, and winds up slipping on the icy walkway just in time for Jimmy to snap a pic with his ancient camera.

Bibbo ain't too pleased at havin' looked like a goof in front of such paragons of the community as High Pockets and Lamarr... and so, he stomps off in a huff.  Jimmy makes like he's going to call his mother to tell her that he's not actually on national assignment for the Daily Planet... but, rather he's quite unemployed... and would be homeless by now if not for the hospitality of ol' Bibbo.

Before he can finish dialing, one of the bar patrons informs him that he's currently on television!  It's an ad for Titano's Pizza that features our boy Jim as Turtle Boy!  A TV spot that he's still waiting to be paid for...  We quickly shift to Lois and Clark where they just so happen to see the commercial... and neither really know what to make of it.

We now shift scenes to the future Mr. and Mrs. Peter Ross as they clank glasses of... I dunno, eggnog... in front of the Christmas Tree.  Their playful banter is interrupted by one of my favorite plot-progression devices... a ringing phone!  It's the Governor of Kansas.... and they want Pete to take over for the newly exploded Senator Caldwell!

Speaking of Caldwell, we move to Agent Liberty scoping out the smoldering wreckage.  He later reports in, and we learn that Caldwell was a political opponent of Marlo... who I cannot remember for the life of me at the moment.

Back at Bibbo's... the folks watch a news report of Santa giving out gifts on the roof of the Daily Planet the night before... hey, we just read that!  This overwhelms the bar patrons with what the kids now call "the feels", and they decide what they want to do is... procure gifts, and give them out to less-fortunate children.  All the while, Jimmy is getting lectured by a lady at the bar... which leads Bibbo to ask if Jimmy's mother's name is Olsen as well.

Way to be a jerk, Jimmy...

Bibbo's buddies head out to... like I said, procure toys for the needy.  They do so by attempting to break in the back door of Le Toy Store... and that's not me using unnecessarily colorful language... that's what the store is called.  Anyhoo, Superman just happens to be overhead, and decides to pop in to find out just what these jokers are up to.

Bibbo heads over to plead their case... and feigns ignorance that his doofus pals were going to steal the toys.  Really, Bib... just where were these fools going to find a bunch of toys on Christmas Day?  C'maaaaan.  Anyhoo... he's able to talk Superman into letting them off the hook, so long as they actually do some good for the less-advantaged tots 'round town.  Superman uses a pay phone to call Lois so she can bring him the leftover toy donations from the night before.  Wouldn't it just have been easier for him to get them?  Would've taken, what... 2 seconds?  Oh well...

Superman and Bibbo meet Lois on the roof of the Daily Planet, and pick up the toys.  Then it's straight to the Children's Aid Society... which, might be a reference to an actual organization.  I remember seeing commercials for this when I was a kid... had a rather memorable song... "I'm really glad they made... the Chil-dren's Aid... So-ci-ety. (dun-dun-dun, dundunDUN)"  As usual, I will concede that I may just be thinking too hard about it.  Oh well... upon arrival, Superman tells Jimmy that he's worried about him and wants to chat later on.

We move inside, and get to see Bibbo Claus with kids on his lap.  There's a running gag here that Bibbo's breath is pretty rank... whether that's from the booze or gingivitis remains to be seen.  Particularly humorous is when a young Guy Gardner fan is about to hop into his lap.

The event is a resounding success... everybody's happy with the way things went.  Why, even Jimmy's having a good time... which only gets better when his mother enters the scene.  We get a nice mother and child reunion... which seems to be a theme of these Christmas on Infinite Earths books... and all is right with the world.

We wrap up with Lois and Clark exchanging their Christmas gifts.  Lois gets a necklace, and Clark gets a sweater.  Lois remarks that perhaps she should start wrapping his presents in lead... which might be a funny thing to see, hmm...

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Not a bad issue, but I t'ink dey went a bit ovuhbawd wit' Bibbo's accent hea.  It almost got to the point where I had to look away between word balloons... and those who have heard me speak know my accent ain't all that much better!  I will say, though, I really enjoy Bibbo being a presence in this book.  He's always fun in a curmudgeon-with-a-heart-of-gold sort of way.  He's responsible for one of my favorite (and in my opinion, most touching) scenes during the Death of Superman storyline too... we'll check that one out here one day.

I really liked Jimmy reuniting with his mother here... it may be a bit of a Christmas cliche, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.  I mean, if you're gonna do cliche, you may as well do it during the Holiday season.  I dug the Turtle Boy bit... such a weird Silver Age concept to drop into the 1990's... but such an inspired way of doing so.  Very fun stuff.

I enjoyed reading this today... literally hours after reading the lead-in, but I gotta say, if I were reading this back in the Winter of 1991, I probably would have been annoyed that for two weeks straight, I didn't get a "real" Superman story.  Just like I kinda complain now about so many/all of the post-Rebirth stories being about the Kent/White/Smith family rather than Superman... I think I'd have been a bit put off by two Christmas stories in a row.  I suppose it gave a bit of a breather before launching into Panic in the Sky... but, ehhh... maybe I'm just complaining to complain at this point.  I guess that's a testament to the strength of the issue where I have do dig this deep to find something to kvetch about.

Overall... decent enough issue... not likely to rock your socks, but it is comfortable and I'd bet that most Superman fans would dig it.

That's all for today... but tomorrow (12/21) will be a very special post.  I'll be linking up with a gaggle of great blog-buds for Super-Blog Team-Up: Christmas Edition.  I think that might be a good time to, I dunno... spend Christmas with, uh... some of the Super-Heroes.

Tomorrow... Wednesday, December 21
Here and at many actually reputable blogs!

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On the eighth day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I gave to you... Adventures of Superman #487, Superman (vol.2) #64, Impulse #45, Green Lantern (vol.3) #59!  Green Lantern (vol.3) #36, Superman (vol.2) #76, JSA #55, and a Batman and the Outsiders #19 Review...

Superman (vol.2) #64 (1992)

Superman (vol.2) #64 (February, 1992)
"Metropolis Mailbag"
Story - Dan Jurgens
Art - Jackson Guice
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Assistant Editor - Dan Thorsland
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $1.00

Hey, remember a few days ago when we looked at Metropolis Mailbag II?  Well, that "II" wasn't just there for show... that story was a sorta-kinda sequel to the one we'll be discussing today.  If you remember, in II, the heroes of the DC Universe went through Superman's super-mail... because the Man of Steel was quite dead at the time.  Now, we're gonna see how the man himself takes requests.

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It's... not Christmas Eve (yet) and we open with Superman approaching the Metropolis Post Office.  He thinks to himself that he'd rather deal with the likes of a supervillain rather than what he's about to face.  He meets with Willie Simpkins and special guest, Lois Lane as he hankers down to go about his Holiday tradition... answering some letters from the Metropolis Mailbag!  Hundreds of thousands of letters from people all over the globe clog a very special room in the post office.

After Willie leaves the pair alone, we start to see some of the requests made of the Man of Steel.  We've got some get-rich-quick types... a kid asking him to squeeze coal into a diamond (which Superman claims not to be able to do... guess the George Reeves show is outta canon... maybe it's just pre-Crisis).  He finally comes across a letter from a Holocaust survivor who spent time in Auschwitz.  She currently lives in Chicago and just learned that she has a sister who also survived, living in the former East Germany.  Her request is to see her one more time... Superman's got himself a gig.

He heads off to Chi-town, and asks Mrs. Schommer to ready her passport... cuz they are Berlin-bound (or thereabouts... damned alliteration).  After a transatlantic flight, he facilitates a sisterly reunion.

Superman returns to the Metropolis Post Office, and is surprised to see that Lois is still reading letters.  She finds one in particular that catches her eye... it's from a young lady who is in desperate need of a heart transplant.  Superman picks up another letter... from a boy whose father has an inoperable tumor... and he wants Superman's help.  Superman knows where he must go... but isn't sure what he's going to say when he gets there.

Turns out to be a moot point.  By the time he arrives, the father has already passed.  As he is talking to the grieving widow, the boy who wrote the request enters the scene... and he is rather angry.  Feeling as though Superman ignored his request, he lashes out.  Superman does what he can to try and get through to the young fella, and as he makes a bit of headway they are interrupted by a doctor... who wants to know if the recently deceased is an organ donor.  Superman, decides that there is a slight possibility that some good may come from this... and convinces the widow to donate.

We shift scenes to a woman being rushed into the emergency room... for a heart transplant.  Superman enters with the organ in question.

Back at the Post Office, Lois and Clark share some take-out from Big Belly Burger and discuss the Daily Planet Christmas Eve Party for disadvantaged kids.  This year, the budget didn't allow for any gifts.  Luckily, Superman's got friends in high places, and so he tells Lois he's "got this".  First stop, Emil Hamilton's lab... second call, Bruce Wayne.

Later, Lois arrives at the party and calls for all the kids to assemble on the roof for a very special guest... Santa Claus!  Superman has donned a completely black bodysuit and mask to hide the fact that he is giving ol' Chris Kringle the assist.

The kids are overjoyed by the appearance of St. Nick, and job well done, Superman heads home for a long Winter's nap.  At his apartment he is met by one last piece of mail... it's a wedding invitation... it seems as though his childhood friends Lana Lang and Pete Ross have decided to tie the knot!

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What a neat little story.  I love the mix of Christmas stories we've been discussing here... some books just add a Holiday background to their regular stories... others, like this one, sorta-kinda take a "month off" to do a special issue.  This was a great break from the action, and still allowed Superman to be... ya know, super.

When I first read this I was expecting the standard "there are some things that even Superman can't do" type of story... and, ya know... there is a bit of that in here, but it doesn't really beat us over the head with it.  Even in the one situation he could not "fix" in the tumor, he was able to pull out a small victory with the heart transplant.

Perhaps my biggest takeaway from this issue is how much I enjoyed the Lois and Clark interaction.  I really like Superman introducing Lois to his "other" life.  This was the stuff I always wanted to see in the issues following the one where the big secret gets out.  It's like, sure... she knows he's Superman... but does she really know what Superman does when he's not under the flashbulbs.  Really well done here...

Overall, not a whole lot to say about this one... but it is quite good.  Definitely a wonderful Christmas story, and worth your time if you are a Superman fan.

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On the seventh day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I gave to you... Superman (vol.2) #64, Impulse #45, Green Lantern (vol.3) #59!  Green Lantern (vol.3) #36, Superman (vol.2) #76, JSA #55, and a Batman and the Outsiders #19 Review...

Impulse #45 (1999)

Impulse #45 (February, 1999)
"The Christmas Impulse!"
Writer - William Messner-Loebs
Penciller - Craig Rousseau
Inker - Barb Kaalberg
Letterer - Janice Chiang
Colorist - Tom McCraw
Separations - Jamison
Assistant Editor - L.A. Williams
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Cover Price: $2.25

Day 6 - Twelve Days of Christmas on Infinite Earths - Impulse - Let's Go!

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We open up with Max Mercury killing time while he heals up after having been shot on Halloween.  The monotony is cripplingly boring.  Luckily, after a while he is visited by... Impulse with boobs?  What?  Oh, it's actually Impulse's mother, Meloni... from the future!  She really does just look like a female Bart, though.

The pair chat a bit in Interlac until the notice that a crime is currently taking place at the bank... the, get this, Green Cigarette and his gang are currently robbing the joint.  Max is worried that Bart will get wind of this and head over straight away.

... and he does!  However, before he do a whole lot, his speed powers trigger an earthquake, which causes the bank to start coming apart.  At this point, civilians and villains alike look out for each other's best interests and safety... it's as though they'd been affected by the Christmas Impulse!  Why, the baddies even decide to reform... and the bank manager refuses to press charges!  Whaaaa?

Once that's all set, Bart returns home... and reunites with his mother.  We learn that Meloni is planning on staying at Max's (daughter's) pad for the next three weeks... which doesn't really make anyone all that happy.  There's a bit of a to-do, which ends with Bart running off...

... to the Janitor's closet at school.  Hmm, okay.  Anyhoo, the Guidance Counselor pops his head in and Bart sorta-kinda lets it slip that he might just be Impulse... and his uncle Max Crandall is actually Max Mercury.  Ya'd figure this would be a no brainer... I mean, look at Bart and Impulse's ridiculous hair for starters... and there really aren't all that many older fellas around named Max, right?

Luckily, this Guidance Counselor, Jasper Pierson doesn't have the brains God gave a peanut... as he calls Max to tell him that Bart "seems to believe" he's Impulse... hmm...

Max and the family all head up to the school for a role-playing session with the helpful Pierson.  He wants them to all facilitate Bart's delusions of heroics... and talk to him as though he really was Impulse.  Not really sure what good this might do the boy... even in theory... but, okey dokey... it'll move the story forward... in theory.

The main thing that comes out of this is that Bart is blaming himself for Max getting shot over Halloween.  Max gives him the skinny on what actually went down that night.  He did (literally) catch a bullet that was fired... but did not account for the possibility that their might be a second bullet in the muzzle.  That's the bullet that shot him.  It's not Bart's fault at all.  What's really crazy here is that Pierson is still clueless... even after Meloni goes off in Interlac... yeesh.

Before the Bart family can get all group-huggy, the Green Cigarette enters.  He wishes to hand over all of the profits he'd made from his life of crime over the past thirty-years... and so, hands over a check for $50.  Ya see, he never said he was all that great at being a criminal!  Nyuk.

The issue ends with Bart and Max walking home.  Along the way, Max gives Bart a hug... when asked if it was due to a Christmas Impulse, Max grumbles.  The End.

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Ehhh...

Often while I read (or reread) the issues I'm going to be discussing here, I get all excited about what I'm going to talk about.  I make little notes, and bullet point some of the things I want to make sure to include... sadly, this issue did not inspire me to do so.

This is in the fallout of Max Mercury being shot... we took a look at that issue back in October for our #boohauntedblog Halloween special... and that issue was... maybe a little less "ehhh" than this one... but still pretty blah.  

Really, not a whole lot goes down here... Impulse's mother shows up... looking like Impulse-with-boobs.  The Green Cigarette sees the error of his ways and decides to reform... and we get some weird role-play with the school guidance counselor... none of which, to me, was all that entertaining.  The art, is an acquired taste... and usually I'm down with Rousseau's work on this title... but here, it's really not all that great.  The faces look especially off, leaving the characters with almost ape-like visages.  Really quite unpleasant to look at.

Overall... if you're looking for a good Christmas story... look elsewhere.  If you're looking for a good Impulse story... look elsewhere.  I'd say this one is for completionists (of Christmas or Impulse comics) only.  Not worth tracking down.

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On the sixth day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I gave to you... Impulse #45, Green Lantern (vol.3) #59!  Green Lantern (vol.3) #36, Superman (vol.2) #76, JSA #55, and a Batman and the Outsiders #19 Review...