Scratch #1 (2004)

Scratch #1 (August, 2004)

"Scratch"

Writer & Artist - Sam Kieth

Letterer - Phil Balsman

Colorist & Separator - Alex Sinclair

Assistant Editor - Harvey Richards

Editor - Joey Cavalieri

Cover Price: $2.50

Here's one I'd never even heard of until I found it in the cheap-o bin.  I love that this kind of thing still happens from time to time... and lucky for me, it was just in time for our Boo, Haunted Blog series!

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We open with Batman as he provides an introduction narrative for the story of a sixteen-year-old boy named Zack... a boy we will soon know much better as Scratch.  He continues... explaining that when Zack turned fifteen one of his fingers grew deformed... and ultimately exploded.  What remained was a gnarled claw... a shameful secret he kept, literally and figuratively tightly under wraps.  Eventually, his entire right hand took the form of a clawed paw.

One night... likely one with a full moon... Zack was beckoned into the woods by an internal urge.  He feels sick... nauseous... suddenly, the transformation begins... his mouth juts out... his teeth grow pointy and large.  Smells grow more vibrant... a deer is on the horizon... instinct kicks in... the poor deer never had a chance.  In case I'm being a bit too obtuse, what I'm tryin' to say is the kid turned into a werewolf.

He wakes up in his human state the following morning.  He is laying next to the eviscerated deer, and tries to come to grips with his actions of the night before.  He feels an itch in his malformed right "paw", and wanders further into the woods.  What he wasn't prepared for was how tired his body would be from last night's activity... and so he slumps over... passing out in sight of a tiny cabin.

A woman and two children discover Zack's body, and after noticing his deformity, decide to take him in.  This is an interesting scene, as we don't get all that good a look at the boy's saviors.  We mostly see them from behind... and while we do kinda get to see the woman's face, it is mostly covered by her hair.  Zack wakes up and he and we get an eyeful of his rescue party.  It's a pretty staggering sight... they are all physically deformed.  Zack feels comfortable... and hopeful, for the first time in a long while.

Morning comes, well two-days later... and with it, a whole bunch of backwoods yokels.  The creepy sheriff and a bunch of hillbillies are outside of the cabin, accusing the woman (Miss Sage) of abducting a young girl who had recently gone missing.  Sage is steadfast in her innocence, and we learn that at one point in the past, she herself had lost a daughter.  This ain't good enough for the yokels, as one of them chucks a rock at her big-headed "son's" big-head.

The sheriff is done negotiating and prepares to storm the cabin in search of the missing girl.  By this point, Zack is up and stirring again... and he's not too keen on the small-towners invading his newly-found safe place.  He puffs out his (bare) chest and tells them to beat it.  They notice his hand-paw, and decide that discretion is the better part of valor.  As they depart, the sheriff posts a notice for the missing girl to a nearby tree.

We now shift to a brief cameo of a hulking monster with a bunch of eyes.  It carries a sack... presumably one that contains a living human... perhaps even the missing girl.  It walks past a tree with the missing girl poster, and tears it down.  The poster, that is... the tree is fine.

With all the excitement having died down, we get a quiet moment between Zack and Miss Sage.  She reveals that she came to town as a physical therapist... sent by the government as a public relations ploy... because this area had suffered a Chernobyl-style radiation bath, which led to a bunch of deformities and what-not.  When the funding dried up, she stayed out of moral obligation.  She shares that her deformity was with her since birth, and not a result of radiation.

Outside, the children see the eyeball monster chowing down on some livestock.  Zack "Scratches" up and lunges into action.  He yells at the beast to let the girl in the bag out... to which, the voice from the bag agrees... but, not with much of a sense of urgency.  She also calls the grotesque critter "Gloop-Gloop"... so, we will too.

So... Gloop-Gloop, he ain't all that impressed with our teenage werewolf... He grabs him by his teeth, and slams him into the ground... at which point, he returns to his boyish figure.

In the distraction, Miss Sage tries to rescue sack girl... but gets a whack for her troubles.  Zack tells Gloop-Gloop "hands off"... but appears not to be able to change back in his werewolf form to punctuate his statement.  We are... [to be continued...]

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Ya know, when I chose this book to review I would'a bet money that I was going to hate it.  I'm not sure what I thought we'd be getting here... but I was sure I wouldn't like it.  After actually reading it, however, I thought it was pretty good.  Not much for werewolf stories myself, but in the context of the greater DC Universe, this could be quite fun.

The non-Scratch characters were neat... at least those who weren't written and illustrated as the stereotypical small town yokel.  The Miss Sage house o' misfit toys was a nice touch.  I like knowing that this little cabin might still be standing in some corner of the DC landscape... keeping in mind, I haven't read past this issue...

I did have some reservations in regard to the art.  Sam Kieth is pretty hot and cold with me.  I really enjoy his humanoid monster type of work, but found his "straight" humans as almost nightmarish.  Not that they are scary, or ugly... they just don't feel "real".  They feel "off" in a way that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.  Can't really explain it.  With all that said, his style fits this story to perfection... and I don't think it would have been nearly as effective with anyone else on art chores.

Overall... a good first issue, and introduction to this Scratch fella.  I'm glad Batman didn't loom quite as large as I feared he might... and I'm quite interested in seeing how this all turns out.  This isn't a series that I see too often in the wild... in fact, when I grabbed this one... it was the first time I'd ever heard of it... so, it may be a bit of a challenge tracking down the remaining chapters.

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Superman (vol.2) #130 (1997)

Superman (vol.2) #130 (December, 1997)

"The Longest Halloween"

Writer - Dan Jurgens

Guest Penciller - Norm Breyfogle

Inker - Joe Rubenstein

Letterer - John Costanza

Separators - Digital Chameleon

Colorist - Glenn Whitmore

Assistant Editor - Maureen McTigue

Doomsayer - Joey Cavalieri

Cover Price: $1.95

Ya know, it's actually more difficult than I imagined to find all the Halloween-themed books in my collection.  They're not as easy to pick out as the Christmas ones... plus, any Google searches I do about Halloween-themed DC Comics directs me to a list of frickin' variant covers!

I was surprised to find that this issue of Superman, during the electric-blue era was, in fact, Halloween-themed!  I've been meaning to better acquaint myself with this era of Superman anyway... so, guess this is a good one to check out.

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It's Halloween night, and Lois has given Clark his costume for the big party they'll be attending.  We don't get a good look at the outfit, however, Clark is none to pleased with it.  He mentions to Lois that if "he" were to find out about this, "he" would kill him.  Sorry Clark, you all waited too long to order... you're lucky to have the costume you've got!  When we find out what kind of costume this is, we might just be surprised that this one lasted so long on the shelf.

Lois and Clark hop into a cab, when Clark's cell phone rings.  It's his informant at S.T.A.R. Labs who tells him that there's something big going on.  The Kents ask the cabbie to make a detour.  Upon arrival, Lois and Clark are stopped at the door by Dr. Kitty Faulkner.  She's usually cool with the Kents, however, today she just ain't having it.  She physically pushes them out of the building, though, as soon as she's outta sight, Clark electrisupes up, and heads inside.

Superman phases through the wall of the building to enter the lab... I'd forgotten he could do that.  Inside he sees a large artifact known as the Dragon's Tooth.  It's a strange rock that is shaped kind of like a DNA helix that swirls around and comes to a point.

Superman is hardly able to get a good look at the piece before Faulkner and a Doctor Swanson enter the room.  Clark returns to Lois and shares the news of his findings.  They decide to head to the Halloween party... and in the cab, Lois comments that it looks like Clark's packin' on the pounds of late.  That's not very nice.

As the Kents drive away, the Dragon's Claw shatters in the S.T.A.R. Lab, sending both Faulkner and Swanson flying.  A man casts his shadow over the fallen Docs.

We now arrive at the Halloween party in the park.  We've got Metropolis' Mayor Berkowitz chatting up Lex Luthor, who looks like he's buying some favors... Perry and Alice White are having a grand ol' time as well.  Suddenly Cat Grant notices something in the distance... Why it's Lois and Clark... dressed like Batman and Robin!

Perry kids Clark about his costume... then mentions that it looks as though he's gained weight.  Damn y'all... gonna give the poor guy a complex.  We also see columnist Dirk Armstrong, who dressed as Abraham Lincoln, tells Mayor Berkowitz he's going to use his journalistic clout to tear him down.  At first the Mayor acts unimpressed... however, he can't keep the aloofness up.

We get a break in the frivolity with an appearance from the fella who made the Dragon's Tooth go boom.  He's on the streets of Metropolis seeking the "being of energy" who caused his release from the Tooth... oh, so he was inside it!  

Back at the party, we get Cat Grant mistaking Scorn for a person in a Scorn costume.  For her misjudgment, the big blue guy belches in her face.  Good form, old chum.

Meanwhile, Honest Abe is getting reamed out by his daughter for his harsh words toward Mayor Berkowitz.  The daughter, Ashbury, apparently came to the costume party as Gwen Stacy.  Scorn arrives, scoops her up and leaps her away.  They land in front of a strange Fourth World looking flying motorcycle thingie... being driven by a metal-masked Jimmy Olsen... o-kayyy.

Our new villain finally hones in on his electric savior, and arrives at the party.  He abducts our cape and cowled hero and flies off.  Clark sheds his bat for an electric-S, and it looks like a battle is about to rage.  They go back and forth for a time, before the baddie reveals that his was not the only Dragon's Tooth... and so, he calls forth his brothers.  Oh boy...

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Man, this era of Superman is foreign to me.  This is my big "blind spot" for the Crisis-to-Crisis era.  I dropped off the title around Reign of the Supermen, and came back post Y2K.  The Wedding/Electric Blue era is more or less new to me.  Not that that's a good or bad thing... it's just a thing that is.

This is a decent enough story.  Fun for what it is, even though it's clearly just one of how-ever-many chapters.  Can't say I'm terribly interested in the Dragon's Tooth... or the glowing fella who seeks it... but, otherwise I really dug it.  I particularly enjoyed the Lois and Clark banter.  They have a really fun back and forth, that I have missed ever since the New-52.  Of course, that's kind of a moot statement by now, but still worth mentioning... cuz I just can't let things go.

It was interesting hearing that Superman lost some of his super-powers in the electric-transformation.  That isn't something I thought all that much about.  I figured he had the same powers, just coming about a different way.  It's cool knowing that there were powers both lost and gained in the evolution.

Seeing Superman wearing a Batman costume is something that made me chuckle perhaps a bit more than it should have.  Clark's comments in regard to Bruce's lack of a sense of humor were a nice touch as well.  Almost makes me wish Bruce was at the Halloween soiree.

Now it wouldn't be a late-90's comic on that fangled glossy paper if I didn't mention how much I dislike the color process of this era.  It looks kinda flat and muddy... and really does not do the art any favors.  I never thought I'd say that a Norm Breyfogle issue of a comic book looked "bland", but here we are.  I gotta figure this is due to the coloring.

Overall, it was pretty good.  Not must reading, but a good fun issue from a weird era for the Man of Steel.

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Superman #186 (1966)

Superman #186 (May, 1966)

"The Two Ghosts of Superman!"

"Clark Kent, Gangster!"

Writers - Otto Binder & Leo Dorfman

Artists - Curt Swan & Al Plastino

Editor - Mort Weisinger

Cover Price: $0.12

For today's spooky spectacular we've got ourselves a double feature.  Only one of which features g-g-g-ghosts, but we'll cover'em both anyway.

Before we get down to it just wanna say, this is my first issue of a DC Comics with dem boffo Go-Go Checks... which makes me a lot happier than I think it ought to.

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Our first tale opens on a splash page featuring Lois, Lana, and Superman attending a seance wherein Jor-El is warning his son (from beyond the grave) that he will perish if he goes through with a particular experiment... but we're getting ahead of ourselves.  The story actually begins some time earlier, as Clark Kent is approached by a reformed crook called "Flashy" Fisher.  The Flash-man wants Clark to get a hold of Superman to help find Captain Kidd's undersea treasure.  He claims to have been told its location from the good Captain's ghost... and what's more, tells Clark he'll cut Superman in for ten-percent.

Clark uses his x-ray vision to read through Superman's fan-mail... which is great.  Two great big sacks full of letters marked "Superman Mail".  Anyhoo, he finds a map with the location of Captain Kidd's lost treasure... and so, he heads to the Ocean floor... where he punches a shark and finds a chest full'a doubloons!  Well, hot damn, Superman's gonna use his 10% to buy the neighborhood kids an astrodome!

As Flashy leaves with his "earnings", he luckily drops a business card with the name of a Seer... Sir Seer, in fact.  With a name like that, I guess his career options were somewhat limited, eh?

That evening, Superman does a bit of a stakeout at Mr. Seer's creepy looking abode.  He watches as a group of men gather around a table... with a crystal ball on it, naturally.  A Duke Cooper asks to speak with the ghost of the outlaw Jesse James... and wouldn'tcha know it, Jesse shows up and reveals the location of some of his own gold.  Superman is surprised that he can't seem to figure out how Seer made an actual ghost appear, as he cannot see any "strings".  

Superman heads out to the small deserted island... which, ya know... is totally where a wild west outlaw would stash his gold, right?  Anyhoo, he fights off a pair of mountain lions, and uncovers a whole lotta gold dust.

The next day, Clark is waiting for Duke Cooper to arrive... and already has a check in hand for the amount of the findings... minus 10%.  He decides it's time for him to see the Seer, and find out first hand what his scheme is.  The following day, he takes his best gals and takes in a seance.  Lois chooses the object of the conjuring, and it is Queen Isabella of Spain.

Initially, Sir Seer is unable to make contact... he mutters some spoo about the psychic vibrations being outta whack.  Suddenly, the form of Queen Isabella incorporates above the crystal ball.  She says that her lost treasures were buried in a cave of some... oh, screw it... it's in the Batcave.

Now this is awesome and ridiculous.  Clark's all, hey I'm pals with Superman... and he's tight with Batman, let's all go to the Batcave!  And they friggin' do!  Batman allows these goofballs, plus Lois a newspaper reporter and Lana a television news reporter, to just sashay into the Batcave... where, despite his insistence otherwise, Superman is able to locate Isabella's stolen treasure.

The next night, Clark Kent skips the seance... instead Superman accompanies Lois and Lana.  He asks Sir Seer if he can call forth his Kryptonian father, Jor-El.  Shortly, Jor's image appears... he warns his son not to conduct a certain weapons experiment the following day, otherwise the Fortress of Solitude will not only explode, but it will turn to Kryptonite.

Superman's all "screw that noise", and insists he will conduct the experiment anyway... not only that, he's going to take Clark Kent with him to watch!  The next day, Lois and Lana decide to hang out just around the time of Superman's proposed experiment.  Right on time, the Earth starts shaking like mad... over the radio comes the report that this was the worst violent tremor in recorded history... and it originated in the Arctic... uh oh!

LL Dance Party!

Days go by, and both Superman and Clark Kent are nowhere to be found.  Lois and Lana are approached by Sir Seer, who wants to try and make contact with either Clark or Superman.  They both agree, and the seance is on.  They are shocked to learn that Superman and Clark Kent are one in the same!  This really begs the question of why was this revealed here?  It really has nothing to do with anything... Anyhoo, Superclark spills the beans about his secret identity and laments the fact that without his presence on Earth, "crime would have a holiday".

Well, that's all Sir Seer needed to hear!  He is, in actuality, the leader of the... ahem... Spirit Gang... *snort*.  He tells all the goofballs in his gang that Superman is outta the picture, and to go run amok!  It's great, they all gather around Superman, Supergirl, and the Supermen of Kandor's gravesite... like, really?  One of the thugs lets out a raucous "Yippeeee!" at the news.

The crime holiday doesn't last all that long, as Superman makes his triumphant return... like, right away.  He confronts Seer, and reveals how he figured it all out.  It has a lot to do with satellites, and whoziwhatsits... stuff that's way over my head.  He continues, saying that he used his Super-Ventriloquism and Super-Projector-Vision with the Queen Isabella coin to make that magic happen... which, let's get this straight... he was Clark Kent that night... is he really telling Sir Seer all this?  Anyhoo... he talks about getting Batman in on the act, and then projecting Jor-El's visage by projecting a tiny painting he had of his father done on his fingernail... Ay yai yai.  The Earthquake, if you were wondering, was caused by Superman and Supergirl going underground and flying toward one another at great speeds... and knockin' noggins!

We wrap up our ghostly tale with Sir Seer in prison.  The kindly guards allow the poor fool to have his crystal ball with him in his cell... dunno if ya wanna do all that.  Back at the Planet, Clark gives a half-assed excuse about him and Superman not being the same guy, and Lois... super investigative reporter that she is, buys it hook, line, and sinker... wonk wonk wonkkkkk.

Our second titanic tale... don't worry, y'all... this one doesn't have any g-g-g-ghosts... opens with the newspaper deliverymen going on strike.  Perry White calls a meeting... shutting down the Daily Planet until further notice... wow, that's hardcore.  Our three favorite staff members clean out their desks and decide what to do with their lives while the strike is on.  Lois says she'll finally write that novel... Jimmy's going to... waitasec... tour his "fan clubs" around the country and give anti-crime lectures... the hell?  And Clark can't decide if he should become a policeman, a cowboy, or a bum!  Seriously.

As Clark ponders, a car goes careening past him, and continues until it plunges into the drink.  Superman is there in record time and rescues the driver.  We learn that the driver is Pete the Pen Man, the greatest counterfeiter goin'.  Superman is shocked at just how much this hood looks like him... he's only a scar and mustache away from Pen-ville.  The thug will be in a coma "for weeks", and Superman asks the officers to keep it all hush-hush.

Superman has decided to go all Matches Malone on us... he's gonna go undercover in the organized crime world.  That night he dons his fake mustache and scar and "prowls the waterfront".  Here he meets Kid Spade, a crooked gambler.  He's able to talk him into meeting the man in charge, "Pills" Paley... who is poppin' pills as he gets a massage from a swarthy looking chap.  Clark introduces himself as Pete the Pen Man, and is given a copy of the Gettysburg Address to copy to prove it.  Here we learn that Superman can forge any handwriting he'd like.

His next gig is counterfeiting hundred-dollar bills... and, whattayaknow, he's able to do that too!  Only problem here is, they don't have the right kind of paper to make bills.  Here we meet Nitro Nick, a vault-cracker... who's going to crack a vault with the precious papers inside... hey, Nick, Why don't you just blow up a bank vault?  Anyhoo... he blows the vault, only to find Superman inside... poor Nick does not pass go or collect $200.  I love that Superman actually escorts these thugs to the police station, and watches them get arrested.  So weird.

Next job is crafting a phony police badge... ya know, like all "pen men" do.  Clark overhears that the baddies, who if I haven't mentioned it yet, call themselves Larceny Incorporated... are going to pull the ol' Human Fly trick to steal some jewels from on board the S.S. Columbus.  Unfortunately for these geeks, Superman is there to put a stop to it.

Clark's next job... and this one's a doozy... is to copy the Declaration of Independence.  Really, now?  The main event has "Pills" sending one of his goons in to swap the phony document with the real-deal, which just so happens to be on display at Metropolis City Hall... ya see, they're celebrating their bicentennial... which tells me that Metropolis was founded in 1766.  Learn something new every day!

Now, none of the goons have the guts to go through with it.  Superman just seems to have their number, and none wanna risk it... none, that is... except for... I wanna call him Paste-Pot Pete... but that's not his name... Pete the Pen Man... yeah, him!  Later, "Pete" hands over the Declaration... which leads to "Pills" and company invading the television station threatening to set the United States' "most precious document" ablaze if he doesn't receive one-million smackers... delivered to him by Superman himself!

Well, Superman is on the scene toot-sweet... but he don't got the dough.  That's fine, Pills triggers a mechanism and burns the Declaration to ashes... kinda giving up his one bargaining chip there, right?  Not that it matters, it wasn't the real one anyway... anyone see that coming?  Pete the Paste Pot Pen Man reveals that he and Superman were one in the same!  The entirety of, heh, Larceny Incorporated goes to jail.  News of these exploits take the cover of the first edition of the Daily Planet to be released following resolution of the strike.

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Man, the Silver Age was weird.  I mean, today we've got some weird comics... but they're usually written as expressly so.  Back then?  Shoot, every-damn-thing was weird.  Just so goofy and fun... but sorta kinda maddening at the same time.  This stuff really feels like stories I would have written when I was in elementary school.

Hey, let's reveal Superman's secret identity!  What, again?  Yeah, sure... we've got some half-assed excuses to get out of it.  It's all a trick... all an illusion!  Yup, ten-year old Chris would've been all over that!

I love how all Silver-Age villains seem to have team names... the Spirit Gang... Larceny Incorporated.... just wild stuff here.  So silly, but... and this is the magic part... it's all played straight!  If something like that were to occur today (or hell, anytime after 1980), it would be in an ironic sorta way... just a writer telling the reader how silly comics used to be... and just how clever they are now.

There was a lot of really convenient stuff happening here... in both stories.  It's really kind of hard to get into the gestalt of when these were written.  I mean, this is all about 15-years before I was even a thought.  The goings-on in here would be something a writer today would be taken to task for... but, I really can't hold that against it.  I had fun reading it, and really can't ask for much more.  I'm sure if I were a kid in 1966, I'd feel like my 12-cents was well spent after reading this.

I learned a few things from this issue.  Metropolis was founded in 1766.  Jimmy Olsen has a nationwide fan club?!?!  Superman and Supergirl can cause Earthquakes by headbutting one another... 

Actually... let's stay there for a bit.  Now, this was the highest magnitude Earthquake in the recorded history of the Earth, right?  It happened in the Arctic... and was felt in Metropolis.  This all begs the question... how many poor folks died, were injured, lost family members or their homes because of this stunt?  The death toll should be in the thousands from just a catastrophic event, right?   Gotta figure... and all to catch some old geek called Sir Seer?  Really, Superman?  Why didn't you just toss the old man into the Sun and be done with it?  Instead you risk destroying the entire planet... c'mon...

Overall... I guess I can give my cop-out response.  This was fun... in a Silver-Age kinda way.  Not gonna rock your socks, but you could definitely do worse.

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