Elvira's House of Mystery #9 (1986)

Elvira's House of Mystery #9 (November, 1986)

"Lost Souls"

"Drink Like a Fish!"

Writers - Darren Auck & Dennis Yee

Pencillers - Darren Auck & Graham Nolan

Inkers - Victor Laszlo & Reuben Pharms

Letterers - Kurt Hathaway & Duncan Andrews

Colorist - Liz Berube

Editor - Ed Hannigan

Cover Price: $0.75

Let's keep the October special rollin' with another spooooooooky book.  Of course, your mileage may vary on the spookiness therein.

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We open up with our framing sequence.  Elvira doing her best Svengoolie impression introducing us to our tales of terror.  There seems to be a subplot running through this series where Elvira has taken over the literal House of Mysteries in the DC Universe from its previous caretaker Cain.  Our Mistress of the Dark comes upon a portrait gallery featuring our former host... then settles in for tonight's double-feature.

Our first spine-tingling story is Lost Souls.  A Mister Jonathan Gray comes upon a secluded manor where he plans to write his soon-to-be best selling chiller novel.  As he approaches the structure, a beautiful young woman meets him.  She is Miss Underwood, and she is runs the joint.

She invites Gray inside and shows him to his room.  From the captions, this somehow takes an hour.  Once he's comfortably situated, she takes her leave.  She opens the door to the basement and greets the floating disembodied red head of her grandfather, who instructs her that Mr. Gray belongs to him.

That night, Mr. Gray retires to bed and falls asleep.  He dreams of a woman reading a book.  She calls for her daughter, who is playing with her creepy-looking doll in the basement.  The mother hears a scratching at the window, and when she goes to check on what it is... she finds the floating disembodied red head of whatsherface's grandfather.

Our man wakes up with the sweats... and begins hearing the same scratching that was in his dream.  He throws on his clothes and heads out to investigate.  What he finds is a room full of creepy dolls... including the one from his dream!

A voice booms out that it's coming to get him.  He rushes out of the room, and collapses in Miss Underwoods (cold) arms.  She returns him to his bed, and imagines what it would be like to drain him of his lifeforce.  Looks like we got us a succubus.

The red head of doom makes another appearance, and reminds Underwood that Mr. Gray is to be his meal.  He return to the dream world, where the young girl drops her creepy doll and runs upstairs.  Once there, she finds her mother kissing on her dad... and presumably sucking the lifeforce from him.  We then see the creepy doll come to life and climb up the stairs.  Our Mr. Gray, again wakes up with the sweats.

Well, this is all too much for our man, and he decides it's time to take his leave.  Miss Underwood appears before him, and uses her succubus powers to try and hypnotize him into staying with her... forever.  Well, evil red grandpa don't dig that scene... so he shows himself... as the creepy doll!  He causes his granddaughter to fall to the floor below, and approaches Mr. Gray... who, get this... punches the doll... then throws himself through the window.

Back inside, Miss Underwood... now being called Pamela, decides the burden of succubusing is just too much to bear... so she burns the house down... with her in it!

Mr. Gray gets back to his car and puts the pedal to the metal.  He thinks he's gotten away... however... there's a certain creepy doll in his backseat!  Dun dun dunnnn...

Our second feature is Drink Like A Fish! and we open on a young blonde man water skiing.  The folks in the speedboat are dazzled by his prowess, and one even says it's like Davey was "born in the water"... hope I didn't tip my hand a bit early there... ahem.

He continues to water ski as his pals all down some suds.  Later, they dock on the shore of an island and get down to... well, more drinking.  All of them are partaking... except buzzkill Davey.  He doesn't wanna drink because alcohol is a depressant and dehydrates the body.  His friends are kinda jerks... they keep tempting him.  I mean, wouldn't most people be relieved... like, woo-hoo, more for me?  Well, not these folks.

Well, our man sits and stews... and contemplates what harm a li'l drinky-drink would do him.  He also mentions that the doctors say he shouldn't have alcohol.  Well... he ultimately decides, screw the docs, it's time to drink.

Davey loosens up, starts dancing, singing... all that cliche "loosening up" schtick.  He suddenly and violently throws his empty can and rushes to the water.  Carol, who I think he's been digging on runs off after him, only to find... dun dun dunnnnn... he's... what the... he's a fish man?  Really?  That's what we're going with?  Okay.

Carol is frozen with fear... and Davey the fish man grabs her by the wrist.  He pulls her close and they gaze into each other's eyes.  Davey begins to cry... for he knows that his time among the land-people is over... and he will never know the love of a bemulleted woman named Carol.

We wrap up back in the House of Mysteries where our Hostess gets one more filmstrip... one featuring Cain... but that's for another time...

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Well, this was lackluster.  Two fairly boilerplate "horror" stories with fairly entertaining Elvira framing bits.  I find myself hoping for more Elvira pages... even as campy as they may be, they often get a chuckle... even if it's via a "wow, that was corny" reaction.

The stories themselves... well, they're just kind of "there".  Nothing to write home about, however, the art was nice all throughout... and how about that punk-rock cover... that one would definitely pop off the shelf at you.  

So, yeah... not a whole lot to say about this one... sadly.  It's a horror anthology, that doesn't bring the scary.  I will say that the first story with the succubus and killer doll was a ton better than the dumb fish-man-thing one... but, that's not really praise.  I mean, our fish-friend mentions that the doctors say he shouldn't drink... who are these doctors that are seeing fish-people?  Is that an insensitive question?

Again... I'll say the art for both features and the framing sequence is really nice.  There's some sketchiness in our fish story... but overall, not bad to look at.

As of this writing, my only exposure to Elvira's House of Mystery was the Christmas Special... wherein Elvira herself was much more prominent, and it had more of a humor feel to it.  This really didn't do anything for me.  During this October special, we just might have another visit or two to Elvira's House... hopefully those'll be more fun.

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Batman: Li'l Gotham Special Edition #1 (2013)

Batman: Li'l Gotham Special Edition #1 (December, 2013)
"Halloween/Thanksgiving"
Writers - Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolfs
Artist - Dustin Nguyen
Letterer - Saida Temofonte
Editor - Sarah Gaydos

Heyyy, it's October!  This is the month where Autumn hits full swing... except in Arizona, where it's known as the month where we might not break three-digit temperatures every day.  It's also the the month we celebrate Halloween!

Gonna try and stick to a primarily spooky theme this month, but I'm making no promises.  Just came into some odd wacky stuff I'm just itching to cover, that has nothing to do with horror... though, may be horrifically bad.  One'a my best blog buddies is also making an event of October.  Mike Carlyle over at the Crapbox of Son of Cthulhu is going DAILY all throughout this month, digging some real gems out of the deepest darkest corner of the ol' crapbox.  He always does great work, so definitely give him a visit!

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Our first (of two) chapters features Halloween in Li'l Gotham.  Batman and Robin are perched atop a building, and Batman mentions that Halloween is the one night that the Bat-Signal is on the entire night.  Robin spies what he believes to be criminals down on the street... and swoops down to kick some butt!  These are not bad guys, however... it is simply people dressed as Two-Face, the Joker and the Riddler.  I gotta say, that's kind of in poor taste, right?  It's like dressing as a serial killer... which, I know people sometimes do for Halloween... but it's still kinda weird, right?

We then go to an amazing page, where Batman shows Robin that on Halloween people dress up in costume.  Here we see kids dressed as all sorts of DC heroes and villains.  Really a pretty page!

Robin doesn't seem to get it, so Batman gives him the quick 'n dirty on the history of the holiday.  Sensing Robin's obvious disinterest, Batman sighs, and tells him it's all about dressing up and getting candy.  Now you're talkin', Bats.  Damien throws a batarang at a gumball machine... to which, Batman says "No."  He then trips a trick-or-treater, and steals his candy... again, Batman shakes his head.

Batman kneels down beside his son, and explains the concept of trick-or-treat.  Damien thinks it sounds stupid, but trudges up the walkway to a neighbor's house anyway.  He comes back completely annoyed... after all that work he comes away with... one piece of candy.

We shift scenes to an Italian restaurant where some real-deal Batman rogues-gallery members are dining.  In walks Batman and Robin, and it's like that moment where the needle skips on a record.  Batman orders two calzones for take-out... which is the same thing the wife and I order when we get Italian.  He then turns to the villains... and smiles.  He compliments them on their "costumes" and says dinner is on him.  To which the baddies cheer!

Outside the restaurant Commissioner Gordon and the Gotham City Police Department are there to apprehend the villains.  Batman asks that they give them a few minutes to finish their meal before arresting them.

The next chapter has to do with my absolute favorite holiday... Thanksgiving!  We open on a scene where the Penguin is celebrating the big day with... well, a bunch of penguins... er, make that a "raft" of penguins... thanks, Google.

At Wayne Manor, Alfred is hard at work on Thanksgiving dinner while Bruce and Damien watch the big parade.  Both Batman and Robin are represented in the parade as balloons.  Damien laughs that Batman looks more like Fatman... but grumbles over the enormous size of the Robin balloon's head.  It's a very cute scene.

Suddenly, the Penguin... dressed as a Pilgrim hijacks the event.  He threatens to subject Gotham to "Turkey Wrath"... which is exactly what it sounds like.  Bruce and Damien spring into action.

A fight is on... Batman and the Penguin get down and dirty, while Robin gets tickled by the turkeys... until he spots a trumpet and pied-pipers the gobblers away.

The Penguin attempts to flee by popping open a hover-umbrella (?).  Thinking quickly, Batman throws a 'rang into the big Batman parade balloon... which comes down right atop the baddie.

That evening at Wayne Manor, the entire Bat-Family shows up for a Thanksgiving Feast.  Of particular interest, Barbara Gordon is in her wheelchair here.  Of further interest, nobody saved a seat for poor Jason Todd.  Ain't that always the way?

We wrap up our tale in prison, where inmate Cobblepot is led to the dining hall for his turkey dinner.  After the day he's had, the last thing he wants to see is turkey!

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Good God... how fun was this?!

I'm hard-pressed to think of a recent time where I've had so much fun reading a comic book.  I mean, I've read some great stuff of late, but this was just a hoot!  Had a stupid smile on my face the whole time I was reading it.  It's totally silly, sure... but a real treat.

The stories were just holiday-themed episodes, without a whole lot of consequence.  They were harmless, and wildly fun... jeez, I think I typed "fun" more times in these past two paragraphs (likely with more to come) than I have throughout my blogging career.

We're not going to worry about folks being "in character" here... that's really not the point of all this.  These are just cute throwaway stories... showing a lighter side of the brooding Batman (and company).  Watching Batman try to teach Robin about the history and customs of Halloween... man... amazing!  Seeing the whole Bat-Family gather at Thanksgiving table (except poor Jason, who never seems to get a seat) was wonderful.

The art here is amazing.  I've mentioned before that I'm not really a fan of the "animated series" style in comics.  I'm cool with it on the screen, but feel it doesn't really translate all that well.  This, cute watercolor deal absolutely works wonders in the book and absolutely pops off the page.  It's almost impossible not to want to read this after seeing it.

The good news is I had a great time reading and discussing this issue... the bad news is, now I gotta track down the rest of the Li'l Gotham run.  Most definitely recommended... put a smile on your face and grab this book if you can.  As luck would have it, the entire series is available digitally.

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Butcher #1 (1990)

Butcher #1 (May, 1990)

Writer/Co-Creator - Mike Baron

Artist/Co-Creator - Shea Anton

Letterer - Steve Haynie

Colorist - Julia Lacquement

Development Associate - Katie Mann

Editor - Mike Gold

Cover Price: $1.50

Here's a series I'd totally forgotten about.  I usually associate The Butcher with a Brave and the Bold miniseries he shared with Green Arrow... it completely slipped my mind that he actually had his own solo miniseries.

It's written by the character's creator, Mike Baron... who I kinda had fun with when I recently reviewed Sonic Disruptors... or one of the most unsubtle satires I've ever read.  Let's see how this one goes...

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We are on board a train zig-zagging through the Canadian Rockies.  There is a large Native American man selling cigarettes and candy to the passengers... he's wearing a name-tag which reads Jonathan Butcher.  Suddenly a sharp-dressed pair enter the car, and bump our man out of the way.  They find an attractive young mother, and after confirming she's a Canadian, invite her to dinner in their personal train car.  One of the two reveals that the work for a Mr. Loftus.

Butcher's ears perk up after hearing that name, and after twosome depart he questions the woman's wisdom in accepting a private dinner-date with a perfect stranger.  She's pretty oblivious to the potential danger of such a thing... not thinking that anything could possibly go wrong on a Canadian train.  Is this a known thing?  Are Canadian trains famous for their safety?  I dunno...

Butcher heads to... okay, this is a bit confusing... either his own room... or Loftus' private room.  Not really clear as to which.  Either way, once inside he disrobes and enters into a trance.  He focuses in on a story his sister Sue Ellen had told him about a... sharp-dressed pair who tried to forcefully buy his family's gas station and convenience store.  When his father refused... they blew up the shop.

Butcher reflects on how his research following the occurrence.  After a month of checking into dummy company after dummy company, he landed at one name... Loftus.  He decides it's time to exact a bit of revenge, and dons his formal "dinnerware".  I gotta say, this get-up doesn't look nearly as cool as I think they thought it would.

We advance to dinnertime, where our Mrs. Karen McLeach is dining with creepy Mr. Loftus.  The young Audrey McLeach is tired from all the frivolity... and Loftus offers to let them have one of his (many) extra rooms... just how big is this car anyway?  Here we meet Loftus' bodyguard... a giant Korean man with a wildly unfortunate haircut called Kam.  Loftus explains that he wants to open a casino in Vancouver... where gambling is illegal.  But, oh ho... nothing's illegal for the Loftus's's's.  It's around now that our gal finally starts getting the heebie-jeebies about her dinner-date.  She makes sure to inform him that her husband is a Mountie... which doesn't impress him all that much.  She tries to politely leave... and that doesn't go all that well either.

Kam grabs her, and Loftus begins... threatening her, saying that he can make her do anything he wants, as touches her face.  She nails him with an open hand slap.  She's got some long-ass fingernails that make it look like Loftus was just in a scuffle with Wolverine.  This scene is pretty uncomfortable...

Luckily, the Butcher is nearby.  He is sitting atop the train car in full meditation.  He thinks back to a time he'd spent with his grandfather.  They spent four days fasting atop a butte.  On the final day, Butcher was left alone.  He watches as a lamb wandered into the path of a snake... the snake wrapped itself around the poor lamb.  Butcher felt the need to intervene, however could not move.  Suddenly a hawk swooped down and tore the snake to ribbons with its talons.  Butcher awakens, and finds that he is holding the remains of a snake and has blood dripping from his mouth.  Ew.  The grandfather informs him that there was no hawk... Jonathan himself was the hawk.  It is his fate to rend snakes.

It is now time for our man to spring into action.  There is a bearded man guarding the doorway to the private Loftus car... and so, Butcher uses his way with words to sweet talk his way inside.  No, he doesn't do that at all... he snaps the poor fool's neck.

Inside there is yet another guard.  This one's packin' heat... Butcher is able to kayo him, but not before taking some hot lead to his side.

The gunshot gets the attention of our flattopped bemulleted pal Kam. The two engage in fisticuffs until, during a grapple, Butcher plunges a knife into Kam's gut.  This only seems to tick the giant off.

Kam removes the knife and starts wielding it himself.  Butcher is quickly able to disarm the monstrous Korean... and then plunges the knife into Kam's chest.  Butcher... livin' up to his name!

With Kam... well, not dead... but out of commission for a moment, Butcher uses his glass-cutter to make his way into the car's bathroom.  Kam manages to crawl his way into Loftus' room, and informs him that there's an uninvited guest using their toilet.  Loftus then unloads his gun into the bathroom door... yeesh.

Loftus backhands Karen and tells her to check the body.  She refuses and... well, Loftus decides to check it out on his own.  Maybe this dude can be reasonable.  I did mention he looked as though he had a tussle with Wolverine a bit earlier... here I would have to imagine he got some of Logan's healing factor as his facial wreckage has all vanished.  As he approaches what he believes to be the dead body of the Butcher... our man... and this is pretty gross... kicks him square in the kneecap.  This is rendered really very well on panel, and is a pretty stomach-turning sight.

Butcher mounts Loftus and demands he spill the beans on the people who hired the Loftus's's to murder his family.  After a bit of coercion, he finally comes clean.  It was the Namdorph Corporation in San Francisco... specifically one Edward Gryzinski, who apparently works on the 35th floor.  Now armed with the information, Butcher slams Loftus in the chest... not sure if that was a killing blow, but soon that will be a moot point anyway!

Suddenly, a loud "chuck" rings out, and it becomes clear that the car has been disconnected from the train.  Outside we see Kam... yeesh, again with this guy... physically separating the trains with his own body.  Damn.

Butcher tells Karen to grab her daughter, as things are about to get bumpy.  They have no choice but to jump, for if they don't... they gon' die in a fiery crash.  Karen is justifiably reluctant... but Butcher... and the thought of plummeting off a cliff prove to be pretty decent motivators.

Once the trio collect themselves, Butcher informs them that Loftus' men will soon be there to make them all dead... and so, they must flee.  He promises them he will deliver them safely, and despite her reservations, Karen appears to be thankful.

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Okay... well, I liked this a whole lot more than Sonic Disruptors.  It's got similar subtlety issues, but overall it's not bad at all.  In fact, the story actually somewhat engaged me... and I can see myself tracking down the other four issues of this arc.

The character of the Butcher is a lot more interesting than I thought he would be.  I like that, while he's a violent bloodthirsty type, he's also something of a tactician.  I was afraid we were going to go one of two ways... either a complete savage, or a tranquil peacenik (which would be ironic given the fella's name, right?).  Thankfully, he falls somewhere in between.

The villain during this issue is a bit one-note... but, that's all he really needed to be.  We get the impression that he's just a spoke in the wheel, and the real bad guy is going to be our man's ultimate target.

The violence is ratcheted up pretty high here (that broken knee... yikes!).  I actually had to recheck the cover date... I'd have sworn, from the contents, that this would have been circa 1993... post-Image launch, and all that... but, no!  This came out in very early 1990... which really made me take pause.

Overall, yeah... this was pretty good.  You may need to be in a very 1990's mindset to fully appreciate this... but luckily, that's like second-gear for me.  The art is a touch on the blockier side, but fits the story quite well.  It reminded me a bit of Larry Stroman's work on X-Factor.  I'd say this won't rock your socks, but it's definitely worth a flip through.

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