Sonic Disruptors #1 (December, 1987)
On the ground, we watch as a young person is beaten up by some security staffers. I’m assuming this was the lookout for the building below. We shift a bit to that building, which is a warehouse of sorts where radios are being built, serviced and repaired. There is a woman named Kate who learns that the the U.S. government is planning on pulling the Little Bopper out of orbit with a tractor station. She laments that she cannot get a hold of one called “Fuzzbuster”, however cannot do so for long as the feds kick in their door.
Kate and her informant Len race up the stairs, where the latter is riddled full of bullets. Kate turns and squeezes off a shot right between their pursuer’s eyes. She is able to narrowly escape in her souped up rocket car. The remaining agents turn their attention to the radios, and start blowing them away… in the shadow of inflatable tube-men, apparently.
We shift to National Security Headquarters where we get some intel on what’s shakin’. We meet a geeky doctor with a ridiculously thick (nigh indecipherable) accent who gives us the skinny on the Little Bopper. Ya see, it was at one time a nuclear waste dump site… so, the Feds won’t dare shoot it out of orbit. Also, this Fuzzbuster character is somehow able to send and receive radio transmissions without a radio, hmm…
Shortly, we watch as Kate Straight is abducted at an airport terminal. They take her to a makeshift interrogation room, and threaten her with mind-altering drugs. Before they can do so, our buddy Mr. C. bursts in and hits the baddies with some tranqs. He and Kate flee to the French Spaceport in Guiana, and beam up to the Little Dipper.
So far, so good… right? Well, now we meet The General. He’s as unsubtle as they come… ya see, he hates dem libruls, dem gays, and dem hippies… he’s really a hateful piece of crap. He thinks the country has dun goofed when they elected Lucille Ball as President. This dude is such a pathetic strawman… like, it’s obvious what Baron’s trying to do here… it’s just so poorly done. I’m almost embarrassed to be reading this bit. He shoots the television set when the Happy the Wonder Clown show begins, and thankfully we shift scenes.
Back on the Dipper, Kate and Mr. C. arrive. Sheiky baby convinces Kate that she’s always wanted to be a DJ, so she’s cool with sticking around. She shares the news of the “tractor” deal, Project: John Deere, to push their satellite out of orbit. We now meet Mr. Kong, a Chinese radical who has a killer secret handshake.
Sheik and Kong retire to quarters to discuss how the Chinese Government may aid in halting the John Deere project. Sheik suggests having China grant the Little Dipper official recognition, complete with an onboard ambassador. Kong’s cool with it, but he doesn’t trust his government at all… and he doesn’t care who knows it. Psst, Kong… the walls got ears, brudda.
Back on Earth… crud, we rejoin the General. He’s hosting a soiree to celebrate the Dipper going offline. He’s got the radios tuned to their station to be able to hear the exact moment they’re launched into orbit. He shoots another TV while spouting the same hateful nonsense as earlier.
Up on the satellite, our jolly crew is boarded by American astronauts. Project: John Deere is about to begin… and they are offering the Little Dips one last chance to pull out. Before Captain Rourke (of NASA?) can finish his thought, Commander Chin from the People’s Air Force interjects that the “Ritter” Dipper has been given the “thumbs up” by the Chinese.
The General realizes it isn’t in the United States government’s best interests to risk a nuclear incident… and so, they pull out. Oh, and the General shoots a radio. Ya get it, yet? He’s a really not good dude! I know it’s really subtle… so I figure I may as well help y’all out.
We wrap up on the Dipper where Sheik talks to their new Ambassador, Lau Lo Fang. He asks what happened to Kong… and we learn that the Chinese government isn’t a fan of dissent. Kong has been sent for “reeducation”.