Millennium #7 (February, 1988)
"Down!"
Story - Steve Englehart
Pencils - Joe Staton
Inks - Ian Gibson
Letters - Bob Lappan
Colors - Carl Gafford
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75
Having been online for... wow, over twenty years, I've done my share of reading the writings of other folks. One thing that has always stood out to me was how proud people seem to be when they can use words like "penultimate", or structure their sentences so they might refer to things in terms of "former" and "latter"... though, I'll concede, I might just be projecting.
That said... welcome to the, ahem, penultimate chapter of Millennium!
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We open with the space-bound heroes... along with Harbinger and that strange vegetable-man Green Lantern... celebrating their victory? Wait, what? This is the second assault on a Manhunter HQ that they've left out of the main event series! Why would they do that? That's just about the only interesting part of this entire event? Anyhoo, the new Dr. Fate doesn't have the power to zap them back home... so they're gonna be stuck for a bit. Harbinger ain't got time for that, and so she teleports to Earth all by her lonesome.
We shift scene to Earth... un-duh the sea, where the heroes are in an underwater craft which resembles a bomb. On board, the gang catches us up on their (most recent) plan.
They submerge all the way to the bottom of the ocean, and come across a rift... which they enter. They're suddenly in dry air... and plummet to the ground with a CRUMP. Wherever they are, this ain't Skartaris. There's a flash of light... and with it comes, Harbinger! Well, that's convenient.
Back... sigh... at the Citadel, the Guardian and Zamoran appear to be choreographing a synchronized dance troop with the members of the chosen. Okay, okay... they're doing Tai Chi... for reasons. We take a look at the ZamorOans and find that they have rapidly aged... and look quite haggard.
The dance-off is interrupted by Tegra Kalamaku... who ain't too keen on her husband Tom taking on a "cosmic consciousness" (whatever that is). She (understandably) tells him off, and (understandably) stomps away in a huff.
Back underground, the heroes arrive at the Manhunter HQ. Wow, are they actually gonna show us a confrontation in the main series? Only took'em seven issues! Anyhoo... inside, we see the traitorous Booster Gold along with Wonder Woman's Manhunter, Pan conferring with some bots and the Grandmaster.
From here a battle breaks out... the next several pages are dedicated to a giant fight scene. Of note, Wonder Woman nabs Pan with her lasso, and cuts him in half! Turns out, he's an android...
And so, more fighting. The battle wraps up when Booster Gold shows his true colors, and starts blasting away at the Manhunters.
As the smoke clears, Booster's all "Hey, I'm back... pretty neat plan I had pretending to be a bad guy, right? Right?" Nobody's buying it though. Seems they think the opportunistic Booster may have just seen the writing on the wall and switched sides only to protect his own hide. Stands to reason, right?
We wrap up with ALL of the heroes returning to the Citadel. One of the chosen notice a black car has pulled up at the bottom of the hill. Before she can investigate, however... Booster Gold apparently turns heel again, grabbing Xiang and flying off in order to show her "how rotten this world really is". C'mon... is Vince Russo writing this?!
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Don't look now, but I think some stuff actually happened. Granted most of it occurs in the tie-ins, but at this point we beggars have learned that when it comes to Millennium, being "choosers" is a luxury we've long since forfeited.
I think I can safely say that I enjoyed didn't hate this issue as much as the previous few, if for only the fact that it felt like the story progressed. Gone were the pages of Guardian-Chosen "Are you sure? Are you sure-sure?" garbage, and instead we actually got to witness an assault on a Manhunter base. Of course, what we got was a pretty boring boilerplate fight scene... but, again... beggars, choosers.
Booster Gold's portrayal here kinda works. I mean, if you weren't following his solo book (which if I'm not mistaken, was drawing to its conclusion around now), you'd think he was just an opportunistic jerk who went wherever he felt his bread was buttered. I'd figure if you were following the solo, however... this would feel a bit like the character that he grew out of. Toward the end of his first series, he'd matured quite a lot... but his fellow heroes might not know that.
I think the Kalamaku drama is probably the only interesting part of the "chosen". If we look at all of the members, Tom is the only one with a family. Seems a jerk move for the Guardians to try to include him, right? They rest of the folks are outsiders, more or less. They didn't have all that much to say goodbye to... at least inasmuch as family. I think Tegra is acting the way any spouse would if they were about to lose their other half.
Overall... a step up from the past few chapters... but that don't make it "good". The art is still devolving, resulting in some really ugly panels... though, at this point we're seven weeks in to an eight week event, I can't fault the fatigue. Plus, just look at the story he's gotta draw... I doubt I'd be turning in my best work either. I still cannot recommend anyone pick this up... unless someone hands them all over for free, and even then... think twice before cracking them open. I'd hate to think anyone paid actual paper-or-coin money for this on my word.
What say we wrap this bastitch up tomorrow?
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Millennium #6 (February, 1988)
"Out"
Story - Steve Englehart
Breakdowns - Joe Staton
Finishes - Ian Gibson
Letters - Bob Lappan
Colors - Carl Gafford
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75
Keeping to a daily discussion schedule can become a drag even in the best of times. When we're discussing Millennium, however... that drag becomes almost debilitating. This event is a certain kind of bad... it's not "so bad, it's good", that would make this fun... it's just bad... and boring. Characters are written to be unlikable, and more often then not, nothing happens!
Welp, let's hit it...
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We open with our space-bound heroes, being led by Superman and Hal Jordan closing in on the Manhunter big-bad... who just so happens to be very... yellow. This unfortunately renders the Lantern Corps fairly useless... and so, it is left to Superman and J'onn J'onzz to proceed with the assault. Before they can do all that much damage, the Manhunter vanishes.
Dr. Fate attempts to follow the baddie via magic, however... this is the new Doc, and his inexperience greatly inhibits his abilities. He begins affecting the very life-energy of all present heroes... and decides to channel all of the energy into two of the champions... Superman and Hal Jordan, after which the heroes and Fate fall comatose.
Back at the Citadel, the ZamarOan duo appear to have put their "chosen" into a sort of trance-state. Really feels like we're missing something here... though I can't imagine why they'd put important "chosen" scenes in the tie-ins instead of the main event series. Maybe I'm just missing something... or, ya know... it's sloppy storytelling.
After the transcendental trip, the Zamoran concludes that "he" will be the traitor. "He" in this case is the fat racist South African. Go figure, right? Let's see... we choose a handful of diverse and good people... and one stereotypical jackass. Hmm, wonder who's gonna be the bad guy. I'm tellin' ya, if they'd chosen someone else it would have been a bit more interesting... have the racist clown see the error of his ways... actually become a well-rounded character. But, that's probably too much work.
We shift to a brooding Batman as he is approached by Wonder Woman. He's more than a bit snippy... because he'd just received word that his Outsiders were "crushed" (in a tie-in). It's hard for me to feel bad for him here... as, had he been with them instead of soaking in the cheers last issue, maybe things would have went a bit better.
From here, Batman and the kinder-gentler Guy Gardner head to Booster Gold International to chat with their former friend and teammate. Guy is in full-on apologist mode here... and it's almost funny. They find Gold, and fight... Booster takes them out with ease.
Back at the Citadel, the members of the chosen wake up. Tom Kalamaku is joined by his family, and they have a touching reunion. The racist South African is... well, racist. What's that funny way of saying "subtle"? Sub-tull? Yeah, that's the characterization here. It all comes down to the racist South African quitting. Safir bids him adieu... so, that's how he'll be a traitor? He'll quit? Okay. Anyhoo... on his way out, he refers to John Stewart as a "kaffir", because... racist. Stewart punches him out... and the South African vows to destroy the chosen.
Nearby, Floronic Man meets with that person with the bad mohawk. The would-be Dreadnok informs him (and us) that "No Man Escapes the Manhunters"... yawn... Woodrue renounces the Manhunters as no more than myth... and claims not to be "one of [them] anymore". He dodges an attack, and taps into the green... tying the punk up in the undergrowth. The rest of the heroes head over to see what's up.
They drag the punk to the Citadel and proceed to interrogate him. Batman plays "bad cop" and threatens to kill him if he doesn't talk. The other heroes are unsure as to whether or not Batman is bluffing.
We wrap up with Blue Beetle revealing that he studied the flying saucer they found last issue... and concluded that it's origin is the center of the Earth!
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So... we got rid of the racist guy, right? That's something...
It kinda begs the question why they chose him in the first place... but, hell... eight issues ain't gonna fill themselves, right? I know I'm repeating myself here... but this entire series is an exercise in wheel-spinning. We're supposed to think the ZamarOan duo did their homework on their "chosen"... and we've spent how many scenes now where we're still futzin' with the concept?
I mentioned in the preamble that this is bad... but not "so bad, it's good". There's so little to even poke fun at here... it's infuriating. I can say say that the only people with consistent characterization throughout this entire thing are the South African racist... and Ronald Reagan. I could say that the art is especially rough here... perhaps a result of the weekly-release time crunch. I could mention that characters who should come off as likable don't. There's a lot I could point out... but none of it is fun to discuss or explore, and by this point my ability to critique this issue in a vacuum is pretty much shot.
I'm not sure I've ever discussed anything here at the blog that I actually said to "avoid". I've covered some stinkers... but nothing I'd recommend not reading. We've had some "for completionists only" or "for novelty value only" or "don't pay too much for this"... but, today... we're gonna break out the unspoken avoid. Millennium is not worth your time. I hoped I'd be able to shine a light on the better points of this event... but, as we proceed deeper in, it's becoming clearer and clearer that perhaps there aren't any.
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Millennium #5 (February, 1988)
"In"
Story - Steve Englehart
Layouts - Joe Staton
Finishes - Ian Gibson
Letters - Bob Lappan
Colors - Carl Gafford
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75
Millennium... yawn. Let's do this.
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We open with the ZamarOan duo schooling their chosen on "the Universe" It's about as exciting as you might imagine. The Guardian uses visual aids in the sky to punctuate his points... one of which draws the attention of a certain Man of Steel. Fresh off the discovery that most of Smallville consisted of Manhunters, Superman arrives at the Green Lantern Citadel. He's pleased to see that the light show was not Manhunterian in origin, and enters to find a sassy, smirking Batman getting regaled by applause.
Superman's all "what's this about?", and he (and we) learn that Batman and pals shut down the Manhunters' terrestrial base of operations. Batman shares credit with other heroes, but is quite pleased that Superman wasn't among them. Wow... I mean, I know Superman and Batman were contentious post-Crisis, but this seems childish and petty, no?
We get our weekly Millennium tie-in recap... Batman and Jim Corrigan did some stuff, Captain Atom was able to sway Firestorm back to the good guys' side... Superman gets to allude to his recent Smallville discovery, but doesn't get the opportunity to elaborate. Superman's getting the short shrift here... more on that in a bit.
After some more Guardian "Universe 101", we shift scenes to... hey look, another installment of "Steve Englehart doesn't like Ronald Reagan" theater! In this scene, the President is made to look like a liar and an idiot. Par for the course for this story. Oh yeah, did I mention that the First Lady is a Manhunter? Cuz she totally is.
Back at the Citadel, we get another boring page and a half of ZamarOan hokum. Inside, the Outsiders lament the loss of Metamorpho... and team member, Looker receives a psychic scream from her people in Abyssia. The gang packs up and leaves... without checking in with Batman. Uh-oh.
After some more superhero meet and greet... Aquaman and Aquateenlad arrive with a discovery... a Manhunter UFO! This tells the heroes that, while the terrestrial Manhunter base may be no more, they still may linger in space. Superman takes charge and suggests that he and the Green Lantern Corps head into space to find the Manhunter planet of Orinda, in the Procyon System. This suggestion is immediately shot down, and reworked by several heroes. Dunno what's up Englehart's butt about Superman to make him look so foolish here... maybe he voted for Reagan!
Speaking of Orinda, we shift spaceward to find Harbinger still in captivity. As she struggles with her bindings, she is joined by that strange little Green Lantern we very briefly saw last issue. He frees her, and beams his backstory into her head. The Grandmaster sees this and proclaims... get this "No Man Escapes the Manhunters!" Go figure.
Back at the Citadel, some heavy-hitters arrive to aid in the assault on Manhunter HQ... including Hawkman, Hawkwoman, and Dr. Fate. We close out with several heroes leaving... and the ZamarOans concluding their lecture.
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When I started rereading this series with the express purpose of sharing my thoughts here, I was hoping that perhaps I would be that "one voice" that viewed this event differently than the rest of the internet. That is to say, I wouldn't hate it. Welp. Sometimes popular opinion turns out to be correct... this is really unpleasant to read.
I mentioned in my thoughts for the previous chapter that this was beginning to feel like a Batman vanity project... and that feeling is still strong. I'm really not feelin' (post-Crisis) Batman standing there accepting the jubilant adulation of his peers... while sneering in Superman's direction. Like I mentioned during the synopsis... I get that Superman and Batman ain't buddy-buddy here, but... Batman comes across like a petulant child. He did everything but thumb his nose and say "nyah nyah".
Keeping with Superman... it's hard to see him going from the man who inspired the heroes to listen to the words of the Guardian in the opening chapter of this event... to a bumbling fool who nobody is willing to listen to... and the one's who might listen, only do so to contradict and correct him. Not cool.
I've complained time and again about Englehart forcing his politics into the story... so, I won't really do it again, except to mention that... yup, it's still here. And, I'm still tired of it.
Overall... this series has gone from decent to dreadful with the quickness. Even with the sluggish early-mid event, I was still hopeful that it might turn around. It's been quite a long time since I've first/last read this, and I couldn't even tell ya how it turns out. At this point, my optimism is rapidly dissipating... and I'm actually beginning to dread subsequent chapters.
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Millennium #4 (January, 1988)
"Forth"
Story - Steve Englehart
Pencils - Joe Staton
Inks - Ian Gibson
Letters - Bob Lappan
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75
Today we're going to wrap up the first half of the Millennium event... which, at this point just makes me realize there's a whole 'nother half left.
And hey! The fourth issue is called "Forth", howboutdat?
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We open with the heroes who have the Floronic Man in custody... methinks we missed something, as last we saw him he was rescued from Arkham by the Manhunters. Batman is off on the periphery, brooding, like he does. He smells a rat. The gathered "chosen" are all chatting, and the most "subtle" member... who is, shockingly, not the offensively stereotypical gay man... but the South African racist, is being... well, openly racist. Batman still smells a rat, and fills us "event only" readers in on some of the happenings from the tie-ins, including Booster Gold and Firestorm apparently switching teams, and that mean ol' nasty Ronald Reagan pressuring the heroes to stand down. He asks Hal if he can use the Citadel's computer.
Elsewhere, the Manhunters are busy manhuntering and shouting out their catchphrase. Inside their base we see Firestorm with Manhunter Ferguson, and Booster Gold with his former agent, Manhunter Davis. Booster is informed that Hadley is about to make his move on Captain Atom, as a way to test his loyalty... cuz, ya know... if Captain Atom were to find out, they'd know Booster was playing them.
Speaking of Captain Atom, he catch up with him while he is meeting with General Eiling. The General informs Cap that the turned Firestorm has been spotted in Louisiana, and sends him off to deal with the "baddie". We get an Oliver North mention, seems Steve is blowing off a lot of steam with this series... Anyhoo, Hadley happens to arrive just as Atom leaves.
Back at the Citadel, the ZamarOans are holding court... they offer their "chosen" one last opportunity to change their minds. What? Really? How many more times are we gonna spin our wheels with this? Seems like we're spending far too many pages (issues even!) with this. First, we spend an issue informing the chosen... then another fetching them... and here we're still dilly-dallying. Too much. None of the eight members of the "chosen" change their minds... so glad we spent a few pages on this.
We shift scenes to Belle Reve where the members of the Suicide Squad (along with Mark Shaw Manhunter) are being briefed by Warden Economos. It seems that Manhunters have been spotted in the nearby bayous, and the Squad's gonna have to take care of business.
After the contentious meeting, the Warden gets a visit from Batman. He's asked about the whereabouts of Mark Shaw... and lies about him having been released a few weeks earlier. Wow, lying to Batman? That ain't smart... especially since the Bat sees right through it. He notices that there was a requisition for a boat on Economos' desk.
We shift scenes to Madame Xanadu's tarot parlor in New York City. She is looking through her collection of oddities, which includes an actual Manhunter mask. Her admiration of her new trinket is interrupted by the arrival of a customer. He asks her what the spirits tell her about the Manhunters... and, like a fool... she goes and fetches the mask. He socks her in the face with a slapjack and steals it.
Outside Xanadu pals, Jim Corrigan and a woman I do not recognize are returning from getting the three of them lunch. They enter and see that the Madame has been kayoed, and so Jim gives chase. The mask-thief is upstairs going through some of Madame Xanadu's files... and after a brief struggle, he leaps out the window. The Spectre arrives just in the nick of time... to miss everything.
Moments later, the foursome gather round Xanadu's mystic table. The Spectre puts one hand on the tarot deck and the other on the globe... and knows their next stop must be the bayous of Louisiana.
We shift to Manhunter HQ where Harbinger is being held in an energy-depletion chamber. She is approached by the Grandmaster, who just happens to drop a key. She is able to grab it with her foot... and break out.
... she doesn't make it far... but we do learn that a weird-looking Green Lantern is in the house!
Back at the Green Lantern Citadel, the Floronic Man has broken away from the group. He meets with a Manhunter who looks like a reject from Zartan's Dreadnoks.
We wrap up with Batman renting a boat in Louisiana... the Suicide Squad in a boat of their own... Captain Atom arrives at the bayou... and so do Corrigan and the Spectre.
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I think this is the first issue of the Millennium series that makes me feel like we're missing out by not following the tie-ins. We've missed apparent betrayals in Booster Gold and Firestorm and the Floronic Man coming under the heroes' custody. It's crazy that rather than use this main series for such events... they'd rather spend it with ZamarOan repetition. I mean, how many times can we do the "You have been chosen..." bit. I joked around with that... two issues ago, but at this point it's no longer funny.
The cast expands a great deal here with the inclusions of the Suicide Squad and some of DC's mystical heavy-hitters... including the Spectre. I've never been the biggest fan of the Spectre getting involved in events, but he's kept to a minimum here.
Somebody not kept to a minimum is the same fella who takes over many of DC's events... Batman. Now don't get me wrong, I'm on record as a big fan of Batman... but I do tire of him always being the straw that stirs the drink in so many events. We get it, he's smarter than everybody else.
The Madame Xanadu scene felt kinda "off". I mean, why would she be so quick to show the Manhunter mask to some random customer? Especially considering how she had been trying to procure one for such a long time. You'd figure she'd be a bit more protective of it. I dunno. Whole scene makes her look quite foolish.
Overall... not much else to say about this issue. It's a middle chapter, and without the context of the tie-ins... it doesn't feel as vital as perhaps it should. I started this reread rather high on the Millennium concept, but I'm going to have to concede that it's really starting to drag on. Things are happening, but sadly none of it is all that interesting. Definitely not the worst thing ever... but as far as DC events go, it's rapidly sinking toward the bottom of the pile. I might have to revisit Genesis to nudge this back up the charts a bit.
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